Why do people keep loaded guns near their bed while they sleep? For every crime in progress this stops, another three or four guys probably shoot themselves while sleepwalking. Like this man, who shot himself in the knee.

According to the Boulder Daily Camera, 63-year-old Sanford Rothman woke up at around 2 a.m. to a loud bang. He'd shot himself in the knee with the 9 millimeter handgun he keeps by his bed. Rothman was treated at the local hospital and released, so it's OK for us to make a "nocturnal emissions" joke. [USA Today, photo via Shutterstock.com]