Damn, Texas A&M University at Galveston management professor Irwin Horwitz—you’re a wild motherfucker.

Imagine a drama kid—without good looks, singing or dancing ability, who wants to be president, is pretty sure your opinions suck, and thinks you’re an idiot. You just imagined a college parliamentary debater. And who do college parliamentary debaters think are irritating, pitiful jagoffs? In the 1990s, it was Ted Cruz.

One person has been reported killed in a shooting at Wayne County Community College in Goldsboro, N.C. Monday morning. The campus is on lockdown as local police search for the suspected gunman.

Who among us is truly innocent? Who among us hasn't pasted a link into an email's compose field, only to realize that it doesn't refer to the really interesting article we'd intended to send, but to an extremely graphic Pornhub video entitled "SHE LOVES HER ANAL BEADS?" Last week, Lisa McElroy, a professor at Drexel University's law school, made a mistake that any of us could have made—a mistake for which she's now being punished.

A University of South Carolina student with a lot to learn about both racial tolerance and computer networking was suspended for her ignorance on Friday, the result of a viral photo that showed her listing "niggers" as the primary reason "why USC WiFi blows."

Capital New York reports that "Columbia University students are bugging out" after their favorite, smartphone-compatible drug dealer was busted by the cops. You'd think a bunch of Ivy Leaguers wouldn't need to be reminded, but paying for drugs with an app that logs the exact details of a transaction is a bad idea.

Florida and Texas, famed for being the two most levelheaded and reasonable states in America, may soon allow college kids to carry concealed guns on campus.

So it's spring break, things get a little crazy out by the pool, and woah wait is this kid really going to bite the head off a live hamster and did he just snap the hamster's neck oh my god teens are the worst.

New York University, a Manhattan property development firm with a promising education wing, charges students a lot of money to attend. Undergraduate tuition, room, and board is currently estimated at $65,000 per year. What if a student wants to attend, but doesn't have the money? Who will pay? I don't know—the teachers, maybe?

I was destined to attend a historically black college or university (HBCU) once my parents met at Delaware State decades ago. Fate resulted in a childhood characterized by religious viewings of A Different World. Aside from sending me on an early quest for my real-life Denise Huxtable, the Cosby Show spinoff helped frame the black college experience that my parents and their friends had long told me about. This made the decision to attend an HBCU simple, especially after dealing with the "too black, not black enough" paradox of growing up in an all-black neighborhood, attending a predominantly white high school, and not fitting perfectly into either environment.

Dartmouth College, an Ivy League school famous for its bizarrely powerful Greek system, is having a pretty tough year. Today it gets even worse. Dartmouth has confirmed to Gawker that it extended the suspension of one of its most notorious fraternities, Alpha Delta, over allegations of branding—that is, pressing a piece of hot metal into a fraternity pledge’s skin. If that sounds unpleasant, you might want to prepare yourself for the rumored details of what exactly transpired.

Community colleges are the most democratic forms of higher education, and, you could argue, the most important. Don't tell that to the state of Arizona.

Standing on things can be fun! For millennia, people have been standing up high for pleasure and amusement. But standing on things can also be a mistake if those things weren't meant to be stood on, like the disappearing garage seen below:

If you find your college classroom un-taught today, do not be alarmed: it's for a good cause.

Eleven students at Wesleyan University in Connecticut are being treated after overdosing on the drug MDMA, or "Molly," Reuters reports. One student, a sophomore, is in critical condition.

Student debt, like global warming, is one of those rare categories of news in which the latest news is always worse, never better. How are the very latest numbers? Bad!

Carnegie Mellon University is one of the country's preeminent geek schools; think Stanford, without all the nonsense preening, bullshit self-aggrandizement, lustful VCs and palm trees. This year, more than 1,200 students applied for its M.A. program in computer science; yesterday an untold number of them received a computerized fuck-you in return.

We recently asked our readers to share their tales of hooking up with their college professors—a project inspired by Harvard’s recent ban on student-professor relationships. And, well, our readers delivered. Without further comment, here are their 10 best submissions. You can read the rest in the comments here. Missed the original post? Share your own story below.

The ancient and honorable rivalry between the TKE and Pi Kappa Alpha frats at the University of Georgia escalated early Sunday morning when someone in the TKE house decided to settle things like a gentleman and fired a warning shot from a semi-automatic handgun into the cold, stupid Athens night.

Do you remember what you were doing in first grade? Picking your butt? Thinking about ghosts? Wearing a cape? It's probably unlikely that you were gabbing about the Harvard crew team with your cubby buddies. Kids these days, well, they are.