On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert uncovered a grave threat to the supremacy of the US dollar: Iceland is considering adopting Canada's currency as its own. Like all red blooded Americans, Colbert despises Canada - what with their fiscal sensibility and free healthcare - and vows not to let this stand.
It isn't necessarily news that Fox News' Steve Doocy has taken a quote from President Obama completely out of context but a recent example caught the eye and ire of Stephen Colbert. On tonight's Colbert Report, Colbert took Doocy to task for putting words in the President's mouth and reduced his journalistic integrity to rubble.
Time Magazine just released their list of the hundred most influential people and Stephen Colbert made the list! On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen expressed just how much of an honor it truly is to be in the same group that also counts the inventor of Spanx and Pippa Middleton as members.
On tonight's Colberrt Report, Stephen Colbert took a moment to examine Mitt Romney's potential running mates and found one big problem, they are all way more interesting than Romney. And that lead Colbert to the perfect choice: Romney's shadow.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert was shocked - shocked! - by the GSA's massive spending and he wasn't alone. Fox News was also outraged and they knew just where to place the blame.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert told tales from the weekend he spent with the NRA at their annual meeting. While Mitt Romney was a wee bit out of place, Newt Gingrich was right at home, especially when he theorized that the right to bear arms had been handed down by God and that it is his hope that everyone on the planet can be armed. One day, Newt, one day.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took great pleasure in the way that the GOP has flipped the War on Women script against the democrats after comments about Ann Romney never having had a job. Colbert is so happy, he could dance.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert spent some time working on a solution for the often difficult transition back to civilian life that many soldier face. Turns out, we all have a part in the solution just so long as it doesn't involve Colbert doing anything himself.
The GOP claims that there is no war on women, as the left has alleged, and on tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert set out to back up that claim. As he explained, the recent repeal of Wisconsin's Equal Pay Enforcement Act is not at all about a bunch of men deciding that women can't make as much as they do, it's simply about how money doesn't matter to women. In fact, it only matters to men, who need money to impress women.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert told a personal story that elucidated everything that is right with America: on his way into work this morning, he captured a dude popping wheelies on his motor bike while driving through the Lincoln Tunnel. It's an amazing personal testament to all that is right with our fair nation and all that is dangerous about driving while shooting video with your iPhone.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took a look at one of Mitt Romney's biggest problems as he begins his battle with President Obama: capturing the Latino vote. Unfortunately for Romney, he has often been on the wrong side of issues important to Latino voters. But, with the help of Colbert's new pro-Romney TV spot, all of Romney's problems will disappear. Or be escorted to the other side of the border, either way.
As we know by now, Rick Santorum is no fan of college; recently he took aim at California's state schools for not offering courses in American History. Too bad the claim is completely false, as Stephen Colbert made clear on tonight's Colbert Report. The only question that remains is where exactly did Santorum pull that fact from? You know the answer.
Where some liberals see a disgusting concoction of spare beef parts that was once only fit for dog food, Stephen Colbert sees the heart of America: yes, pink slime is as beefy as the Republican Governors who have stood up for it. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen urges that you reconsider your position on the matter because "dude, it's beef."
Stephen Colbert creating his own Super PAC was a stroke of genius as it has given him an endless comedy well. However, the Colbert Super PAC isn't just a joke, it has actually taken in more donations in the state of Texas than the pro-Romney PAC "Restore Our Future." With that in mind, on tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen introduced the Stephen Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack which has everything you need to start your own. Let's just say that the Super Fun Pack is appropriately named.
Obamacare is dead and no one is happier than Stephen Colbert, and he did plenty of gloating on tonight's Colbert Report. That's right, no one in the world is gonna make Stephen Colbert eat any fucking broccoli.
On tonight's' Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took a look at the fear on the right that President Obama will come for their guns if he is elected to a second term. What evidence do they have? Simply that he hasn't made any attempt to come for them yet. As Colbert put it, "no evidence is the only evidence I need."
While he was on vacation last week, Mitt Romney's communication director said his candidate's views were written on an Etch a Sketch and his opponents jumped on the claim, using it as evidence that Romney will say anything to win the nomination. But Stephen sees things a little differently: to him, it means that Romney has all the courage in the world and that comparing Romney to old toys will save the economy on account of Etch a Sketch's sales recently going through the roof.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took Rick Santorum to task over some completely false statements that he has made in the name of speaking from his heart, statements like referring to a non-existent federal law mandating the use of English and claiming that the Dutch are involuntarily euthanizing their elderly. Like his takedown of John Kyl's "not intended to be a factual statement" moment, this is Colbert at his best.
In the midst of his big wins last night, Rick Santorum offered up the nugget that reading from a teleprompter should be illegal for someone running for President. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took that idea to its logical conclusion: that all book learnin' is evil, an idea to which Santorum is no stranger.
When they think the President has said something they can jump on, the likes of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum pounce with everything they've got. Unfortunately for those three, Stephen Colbert is around to point out how moronic their criticisms usually are, as he did on tonight's Colbert Report.
