Feeling young and free while blowing lines in the bathroom of some glitzy LES rat hole? Well, you won't look young for long. Scientists are finding that 80% of impure cocaine in the US contains a chemical that rots flesh.

POP 2010 The Dream—featuring LiLo pal Steve Aoki and an Israeli trance band with the unfortunate name Infected Mushroom—drew 16,500 people last weekend. One man died and 70 were arrested for selling drugs. Wait… raves still exist?

Here's a lesson in what not to do when you're skipping the court date that will decide whether you go to jail for violating probation: Pose beside a tray of cocaine, at a no-pants party in Cannes. LiLo did it.

Juliana Farrait-Rodriguez, the 70-year-old ex-wife of Frank Lucas—Denzel Washington's character in American Gangster—was arrested in Puerto Rico while trying sell two kilos of coke. Good for her, getting out and traveling like that, at her age. [NYDN]

Earlier this month, customs officials at JFK arrested Robert Lopera when he arrived from Colombia on an Avianca flight with an enormous load of candies and nuts. Inside the treats were another sort of delicacy: Cocaine. A lot of cocaine.

An employee at Marc Jacobs' SoHo store intercepted a delivery of cocaine; she called the cops because she thought it was anthrax. It can be hard to tell the difference between drug dealers and terrorists.

Available on Ebay: "PICS of FL GOV CHARLIE CRIST snorting lines of COCAINE!" Somewhere "between 2 and 6 readily identifiable pictures" of ol' independent Charlie doing blow in the 80s. Starting bid $600,000. [And a nice Charlie Crist painting!]

Addicted's finale traced the recoveries of a couple brought together and ripped apart by shared heroin and cocaine addictions. Annie and Mike have lost their reasons to live and will die together, unless Kristina has something to say about it....

Just like angry former expat Matt Taibbi, the editor-in-chief of the Russian edition of Newsweek, Mikhail Fishman, likes to party the Moscow way. But it may all be a set up by the Kremlin. Or maybe not. Who knows?

The Sarah Silverman Program hit a new high last night, featuring drug-fueled parties with all of her imaginary friends! Everyone was there, including Andy Samberg and an imaginary dinosaur with more bumps than just those on his back.

We interviewed two cocaine dealers—one who deals with young Hollywood and one who looks after the old-school connoisseurs. They both expected business to double, but for very different reasons.

Yesterday, we introduced you to the farcical "Draft Larry Kudlow" campaign, a pretend movement to convince TV economist Larry Kudlow to run for Senate against Chuck Schumer. Today, for fun, we'll introduce you to Larry Kudlow the addict.

In this clip from last night's episode of Outlaw Amazon, a thriving Amazonian cocainery is profiled. Turns out blow is full of chlorine bleach, kerosine, sulfuric acid, and dirt. Who knew cocaine had so much nasty stuff in it?

Yes. Eleven god damn pounds of coke, he tried to buy, in Florida. Allegedly! He and two other guys were arrested last week, and now the DEA has released its version of the story, in which a snitch told them earlier this month that Buju et al "wanted to purchase kilogramme amounts of cocaine in the Sarasota area of the Middle District of Florida." Yea, while you're in Sarasota, pick up some coke, k? So the DEA stone cold set them up, undercover style. Allegedly:

The UN's chief drug-fighter says billions of dollars in drug money saved the global economy from collapse last year. Sounds kind of plausible, doesn't it?

Rabbi Baruch Chalomish is on trial in England for operating what prosecutors call a "commercial cocaine-supply operation" and paying prostitutes with coke. That's the bad news. The good news is that his partner in crime is named Nasir Abbas.

Edgy comedian David Cross: Just how edgy is he? Edgy as a knife (double-edged). Sniffing coke while sitting near the President of the USA. That's what David Cross did, says David Cross.

Jennifer Aniston's in love with someone, again. Paul McCartney's son's dreams are coming true and dying all at once. Jon and Kate are still deplorable. And Courtney Hazlett calls out Melissa Rycroft. Hoorah! It's your Friday morning gossip roundup!

With all the swastika-carving and interracial marriage-objecting, among other things, it appears the States have regressed back to a state of full blown racism. That's only partially true, because Dick Durbin today introduced some race-blind drug legislation. And it's personal...

Remember Anthtrax? Terrorists were supposed to use it to kill democracy, but nothing much ever came of it all. Until now: an ER was evacuated after someone saw a white substance. Turns out it was just cocaine. Oops! [Salt-Lake Tribune]