Police in Bridgeport, Connecticut have arrested 29-year-old Juliette Dunn after she was seen making her 4-year-old son chug a 40-ounce of Steel Reserve at a playground. Witnesses said that she called her son an alcoholic afterward. Oh, and her 10-month-old baby girl tested positive for cocaine.

Shortly after being fired as Facebook president, Sean Parker was ejected from Bungalow 8 for piercing the eardrums of Lindsay Lohan and her entourage with his drunken screams. Five years later, the pair very much appear to have made up.

No, that isn't Charlie Sheen's shoe closet. Running shoes stuffed with nearly five pounds of cocaine were discovered in an abandoned suitcase left at John F. Kennedy Airport last Thursday, a spokesperson for U.S. Customs and Border Protection announced today.

Here's a chart of cocaine prices around the world, which the Economist created using data released by the United Nations. Looks like the stuff is dirt cheap in England. Use this chart to plan your next semester abroad! [Economist, cocaine photo via Shutterstock.com]

Mexican authorities announced they have captured the leader of La Familia, the cultish cartel responsible for some of the most nightmarish acts committed throughout that country's ongoing drug wars.

You should really stop doing cocaine. Not because it's addictive, or anything, but because it's likely laced with levamisole, a veterinary drug used for de-worming livestock, and it will make your flesh rot off.

Attorney general Eric Holder has come out in favor of reduced sentences for thousands of people currently imprisoned on nonviolent crack cocaine convictions. (A recent law corrected the insane sentencing disparity between crack and powder cocaine; Holder is simply recommending that the new sentencing guidelines be applied to some people already in jail.) That's a great first step. Then can we let out all the other drug war victims, too?

A small plane crashed yesterday in New Mexico's Lake Heron, and there are no reports of survivors. However, shortly after the crash, police told the Santa Fe New Mexican that "several packages began surfacing," referring to packages of cocaine. Police have cordoned off the area and will dutifully report every last gram of cocaine that is retrieved from the lake.

I'm not entirely sure why Dennis Quaid has penned a short essay for Newsweek entitled "My Favorite Mistake: Cocaine," but he has, so let's blow through a few lines.

Here's a charmer from Courtney Love's video channel for recovery website TheFix.com: Answering a fan's question about how long she has been sober, Courtney goes on a ramble about the time she saved Kelly Osbourne's life, and it was just like the movie Pulp Fiction.

A fourth grader at DC's Thomson Elementary school was charged yesterday with possession of a controlled substance after hooking up four classmates with cocaine on school grounds. Apparently some of the kids snorted it, while others swallowed it, which made them sick. From The Washington Post:

A small packet of cocaine has been found at NASA's Kennedy Space Center, almost exactly 14 months after cocaine was last found at the Kennedy Space Center, as keen observers of space and/or cocaine will no doubt note. But does this indicate that NASA is the most fun government agency—or that it's a front organization for a vast, interplanetary drug ring? Seems to us it's time to put the space-detectives on the case! (This can be the basis for the sixth season of The Wire.) When asked if the recent discovery had any link to the death of a NASA contractor on Monday, spokeswoman Renee Juhans said, "maybe." No, ha, she actually said "no comment." And then she had the reporter whacked. [AFP]

A Connecticut man was arrested for possession after both calling 911 and complaining to a uniformed cop that the $40 bag of coke he got from his dealer was light. Hello! The police aren't drug dealer customer service reps! [TSG]

Reggae star Buju Banton has been found guilty on charges of conspiracy to distribute cocaine in Miami. His first trial ended in a hung jury; no such luck this time. He was also found guilty of a gun charge. He faces up to 20 years in prison. Fellow reggae stars and fans are upset. [Miami New Times, photo via Getty]

Police say they found a "small bag" of crack hidden inside the foreskin of one Antoine Banks, late of Fairdale, Ky., during a strip search ordered after another small bag of cocaine was found "tied to the waistband of Banks' boxers." There are, probably, better places on one's body to secrete contraband—certainly there are more comfortable places—but the drug-concealing ability of the male human foreskin is, I think, an under-explored aspect of the circumcision debate. [WLKY]

Following Louisiana's lead, last week Florida slapped an emergency ban on synthetic drugs that are marketed as "bath salts" because people are losing their minds after snorting and smoking "Vanilla Sky," "White Lightning," and "Ivory Snow." The state's attorney general was pushed to ban the "drug" after some people flipped out, according to NPR:

Two Brooklyn and Long Island drug crews probably thought they had one-upped each other in a deal last month when the Brooklyn guys sold the Long Island guys crushed-up sheetrock as cocaine for $16,000 in counterfeit bills. What dumbasses.

Some teens in Florida (natch) recently robbed a woman's home, taking, among other things, the ashes of her father and two Great Danes. Hungry for drugs, they snorted them. Upon realizing their mistake, they threw the ashes in a lake.

Spanish police have raided what they describe as the "largest and most sophisticated cocaine laboratory" in Europe, arresting 25 people, confiscating 300 kilos of coke, 470 cell phones, plus cash and weapons. But rest easy, European druggies: there's always meow-meow.

A team of scientists have published the results of a research project today which ties good music and feelings of euphoria together. For instance, did you know that listening to Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings" will get you so high?