Jon Stewart was promised that Super Tuesday would bring an end to this incredibly long Republican primary season, but that didn't come pass. On tonight's Daily Show, Stewart took out his frustrations on the candidates as well as CNN's Wolf Blitzer.

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart recapped the inane time-killing methods that the cable news networks, specifically CNN and Fox News, had to employ during last night's coverage of the primaries. The Fox Newsies argued about home state vs. native state and Anderson Cooper took a walk to a gigantic glass cube to get no new information whatsoever. Good times all around.

CNN is well known for needlessly incorporating quirky features into its coverage, most notably the Will.I.Am hologram from the 2008 election night.

God, Newt Gingrich blew it so badly in last night's debate. After lobbying for several days to allow debate audiences to cheer again, and landing Wolf Blitzer, the most destructible sally of a debate moderator in world history, he simply allowed Mitt Romney to take advantage of the crowd and win the debate and couldn't even scream Wolf Blitzer back into his cubby hole of sadness once.

Have you been cracking wise about our cherished field of Republican presidential candidates? Perhaps calling them "assholes" when they do and say horrible things? Let's grow up already. Because stilted CNN misery bot Wolf Blitzer will surely put us in detention if this goes on much longer.

With such a close race in the Iowa Caucuses last night, the cable news networks had to stay live into the wee hours of the morning. This proved to be a little much for some of them, as Stephen Colbert made clear on tonight's Colbert Report. Fox News' Bret Baier lost his ability to subtract simple sums and CNN's Erin Burnett had a little trouble mastering the network's new "flick" technology. All in all, it really makes a guy miss Tim Russert's trusty white board.

Bloated starfucker Piers Morgan finally gave his long-awaited testimony before a British commission investigating phone hacking today. While there were no Perry Mason moments trapping Morgan in one of his numerous transparent lies about his tenures at the News of the World and Daily Mirror, he was at least exposed as having a conveniently spotty memory.

Legendary broadcast journalist Larry King made a startling announcement on CNN Presents: A Larry King Special: Dinner with the Kings. The announcement was about his death:

WE HEAR that TJ Holmes, CNN's weekend morning anchor, is leaving the network for a new gig, which should be announced in the near future. Know more? Email me. [Photo via Getty]

Here's tubby fibber Piers Morgan interviewing Dane Cook last night about the "very funny" comedian Patrice O'Neal, a male human who died yesterday of a stroke. Morgan thought O'Neal was a woman until he played a clip of him.

A Fox affiliate in Atlanta plans to run a story tonight about a woman claiming she had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain. How do did we learn about this? Herman Cain just popped up on CNN to warn us. A hot scoop for Herman Cain!

The CNN Republican national security debate is currently underway in Washington, DC. At its onset, moderator Wolf Blitzer invited the candidates to introduce themselves after providing them with a sample: "I'm Wolf Blitzer, and yes, that's my real name." When it was Mitt Romney's turn, the former Massachusetts governor said, "I'm Mitt Romney, and, uh, yes, Wolf, that's also my first name." Except that Romney's first name is actually Willard?

In your murky Monday media column: Newsbeast loses two top executives, CNN's "social network for news," News Corp finds one honest place on earth, the public opinion impact of Hackgate, and Mediawire is here.

CNN is laying off 50 journalists across five bureaus today, citing technological efficiencies and user generated content as catalysts. Supposedly, there will be commensurate hiring in New York, but news dumped on a holiday Friday is, by definition, bad news.

It's the end of a minor era, as Larry King-supplanting CNN garden gnome and noted liar Piers Morgan has announced that he will be stepping down from his America's Got Talent-hosting duties, effective immediately.

In your shocked Monday media column: a new low in college journalist-administration relations, Joe Levy out at Maxim, hard times at Newsbeast, James Rainey returns to reporting, and a CNN morning shuffle.

So last night: greatest debate ever, right? The vicious babies on stage, God bless , were so busy sniping at each other about who had more Mexicans in their front yards that Anderson Cooper barely had any time to make the cheesy situational jokes that is CNN's calling card. Hoo boy, what a madcap muckfest. Then again, we're kind of worried about Mitt Romney, whose head and a good chunk of his upper torso will soon disappear in a horrific explosion.

What's going on with Rick Perry and Mitt Romney? Perry—who more or less slept through his first GOP debates—aggressively jumped on frontrunner Romney in Las Vegas on Tuesday night, earning an enthusiastic response from Romney, who gently touched Perry and attempted to teach the Texas governor the rules. Of the debate. You can smell the testiness! All the drama, and tension, of two coked-up frat brothers arguing about politics at 6 a.m.! And poor Anderson Cooper, the supposed moderator, just sitting there there on the sidelines.

The metropolitan region of Las Vegas, Nevada, has suffered economic collapse more brutal than anywhere following the bursting of the housing bubble. Eighty percent of homeowners are underwater on their mortgages in some parts of the city. It suffers from worse unemployment than any other major metropolitan region in the country. And now, worst of all, the city will have to host a bunch of assholes running for president in tonight's 432nd GOP presidential debate since Labor Day. Who will "win"? The rich guy always wins.

We've been telling you about "Jailbait" the grossest section of the message board Reddit for a while. Now CNN has "discovered" the dark heart of internet nerds' favorite hivemind.