Vice President Joe Biden was scheduled to address the nation this afternoon about his meeting with NRA officials to discuss new gun control policies in this country—an initiative that President Obama asked him to oversee after last month's shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. But before anyone could react, news broke of yet another school shooting. Fox News was practically mid-"Guns don't kill people; people kill people" when they cut away to break the news that a gunman at Taft High School in Kern County, California shot 2 people.

Hours after he was arrested for refusing to take off his shoes at a TSA checkpoint, Alex Jones lost his damn mind during an interview with Piers Morgan on Monday night. Jones, the conspiracy mad radio host who helped start the petition to have Morgan deported for his gun control advocacy, said all sorts of amazing insane stuff — it definitely merits watching in full — but here are some highlights.

White House correspondent, Gawker pal, and Butterfly Effect fan Jake Tapper is leaving ABC for CNN.

Earlier this week, an Egypt Air flight from Cairo to Kuwait was forced to make an emergency landing after a cobra bit a passenger. The snakebit man was reportedly a Jordanian reptile dealer who'd smuggled the poisonous snake aboard.

Failure virtuoso Jeff Zucker—the man who singlehandedly dismantled NBC as an entertainment powerhouse, replaced Friends with likes of Good Morning Miami and Inside Schwartz, lost NBC Universal a billion dollars in ad revenue in just one year, brought a man named Donald Trump to your television screens, and bungled an attempted transition at NBC's Tonight Show franchise with a galactic ineptness that even at the remove of two years continues to strain credulity—is going to save CNN now!

While his colleague Anderson Cooper is in Gaza nearly getting blown off the air by a massive bomb blast, Wolf Blitzer is on the other side of the fence, in the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, being whisked to safety as air raid sirens wails in the background.

Of all the notable public figures you expect to have beef with one another, CNN anchor Don Lemon and Superbad star Jonah Hill are likely dead last on the list.

CNN released a statement today saying it has commandeered the Empire State Building's "state-of-the-art dynamic lighting system" for the purposes of transforming the skyscraper into a building-size election results meter that will display "CNN's running tally of the race to 270."

This Sunday on CNN, Tom Foreman unveiled one of CNN's new fancy gadgets, surely to be one of a million they unveil for election night coverage on Tuesday.

At both the Republican and Democratic conventions, CNN sponsored a splashy, invitation-only club called the CNN Grill to promote its unique brand of ponderous and dull cable-news fare to the press and politicians. You had to be on a list to get in, and Ari Fleischer was there, so you felt important. The drinks and food were free and—I can tell you from personal experience—it was constantly packed to capacity. And now the waiters and bartenders who worked at the Grill's Tampa, Fla., operation at the RNC are accusing CNN of not paying a promised tip.

Earlier today, CNN posted an editorial which argued that women's hormones play a significant role in their voting decisions. Needless to say, it provoked strong reactions across the internet, mostly because it was pseudo-scientific horseshit. Here are some highlights:

Soledad O'Brien welcomed former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani on her CNN show Starting Point this morning. The conversation was about Libya at first, until it was about Rudy Giuliani's weird spin room denial answers.

There wasn't much anyone following the story of 49-year-old Texas programmer Michael Brutsch, whom we revealed to be behind the notorious Reddit troll Violentacrez, could realistically have hoped to learn about the man from his appearance on Anderson Cooper's CNN show tonight. We already knew he is an unabashed creep who has now lost his job thanks to his predilection for posting pictures of underage girls in their underwear and spouting virulent racism on the social news site Reddit. There was a near-zero percent chance of some emotional breakdown or heartfelt confession that might make Brutsch seem to be sorry for anything but being caught. He'd put too much into Violentacrez over too many years for that.

Professional blowhard Piers Morgan thought he'd get a rise out of fellow windbag Kelsey Grammer by banning him for life from Piers Morgan Tonight.

Noted homophobe and ex-gay who "was never gay-identified" David Pickup made an appearance on CNN this afternoon to mansplain to everyone that reparative therapy—designed to "cure" gays of their homosexuality—is still valid because it totally "worked" on him. Pickup (his real name, by the way) is the newest spokesman for National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) after their previous leader George Rekers was caught vacationing with male prostitutes.

Last Wednesday, Anderson Cooper used parts of deceased Libyan Ambassador Christopher Stevens' diary as a tip for a story on "Anderson Cooper 360." During an interview with John McCain, Cooper said "a source familiar with Ambassador Stevens' thinking told us that in the months before his death he talked about being worried about the never-ending security threats that he was facing in Benghazi and specifically about the rise in Islamic extremism and growing al Qaeda presence." That source, apparently, was Stevens' journal, which CNN discovered amongst the rubble in the U.S. Consulate three days after the attack that killed Stevens.

Vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan addressed the RNC tonight. There wasn't any lipstick on his teeth, but he did possibly bend the truth a little.

Pretty much any asshole can get some kind of credential to get into a political convention; a look at the press room can tell you that. It's a low bar. Which is not to say that the RNC organizers are fools.

Someone attending the Republican National Convention allegedly threw peanuts a black camerawoman for CNN and said, "This is how we feed animals," according to Talking Points Memo. The nut thrower was then escorted from the convention.

Around 10:15 CNN's Ali Velshi tweeted: "BREAKING: law enforcement source tells CNN there appears to be terrorism connection to the #ESBshooting." This happened several minutes after local New York City outlets reported that the man who opened fire outside the Empire State Building, so the tweet spread like wildfire. And then Velshi deleted it. Why?