In your flammin' Friday media column: Lola Ogunnaike's out of a job, the LAT's web editor's into a job, a WSJ writer brings da ruckus, and the secret newspaper meeting was not a secret we swear so don't ask any more about it or else:

• How is Twitter going to make money? With a reality TV series, naturally. The show will involve "putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format," in case you were wondering. [Variety]
• The primetime lineups for next year "are chockablock with shows meant to make recession-weary viewers laugh and feel better." How encouraging! [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as for Roland Martin, who has been subbing for Campbell Brown recently. [Page Six]
• Bravo's next Real Housewives installment: Washington, DC. [Daily Intel]
• Fox News nut Greta Van Susteren may not be around for long. Rumor has it her contract won't be be renewed and Megyn Kelly will replace her. [NYT]
• New York lost close to $5 million last year; with ad pages down 37 percent thus far in 2009, "losses are expected to be even higher this year." [NYP]
• A Russian investment firm has dropped $200 million into Facebook's bank account in return for a 1.96 percent stake in the company. [NYT]
• Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum sequel beat out the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise with a four-day pull of $70 million. [Reuters]

Back in January CNN's Soledad O'Brien, serving on the co-op board of her Chelsea building, signed the eviction notice for fellow resident Steven Lyon complaining about the "size, slobbering, shedding, drooling, gassiness and odors" of his Neapolitan Mastiff, Ugo. A Manhattan Housing Court judge has now dismissed the case.

Microsoft's applied for a patent on facilitating meetings via hologram. Yes, this is ridiculous. But perhaps salable!

What does it take to move CNN newsman Rick Sanchez? Not, apparently, a plane crash which killed 50 people.

• Jim Dolan's Cablevision says that Newsday is not for sale, which is good since there isn't a company on the planet that wants to buy it. [E&P]
• David Geffen made an offer to acquire the stake in the New York Times Co. controlled by Phil Falcone's Harbinger fund; Harbinger passed. [Fortune]
• The mood isn't too upbeat at the Cannes Film Festival, unsurprisingly. [THR]
• 60 Minutes' segment on Anna Wintour should air this Sunday. [Gawker]
• As of the publishing biz didn't have enough to worry about, "web pirates" are now posting copies of books on the Internet. [NYT]
• Anderson Cooper's ratings have been on the decline all year. [LAT]
• OK! appears to be dissolving into chaos. [ASSME, Gawker]

It's OK, CNN. We all have our suspicions about which world leaders conspired to launch this "spontaneous" swine-flu panic. But we'd pair Bush with someone from PRI. At least you "fixed" the "error" quickly.

• More on the decision by Condé Nast to shut down Portfolio. [NYO, Gawker]
• Newspaper circulation figures for the past six months show steep declines at most major papers, including the Times, Post, and Daily News. One bright spot: the Wall Street Journal, which experienced a tiny, 0.6% gain. [E&P]
• Phil Falcone's Harbinger, the hedge fund that battled for a piece of the New York Times Co. last year, may now be looking to unload its stake. [WSJ]
• CNN has fallen behind MSNBC and Fox News, as you may have heard. [NYT]
• PRWeek is going monthly. But it'll still be called PRWeek, so you know. [NYT]
• Obsessed starring Beyonce was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [THR]

CNN curmudgeon Tony Harris has been a hold-out when it comes to his network's desperate insistence that you keep going to its various blogs while you are watching television. Today he cracked. He hates blogs.

What happened on Larry King Live last night? Why was Larry panting over and fondling Levi Johnston's tattoo? What was with the creepy "sheep sex in the woods" undertones?

Susan Roesgan's report from last week's Tea Party in Chicago ended with a particularly damning example of a TV news reporter reporting the truth:

All the cable news networks seek pundits willing to act like absurd political caricatures. This keeps Comedy Central in business. But it turns out Fox News is especially dumb and obvious about the practice.

Ashton Kutcher, we wish we could quit you. The model-actor-director-wantrepreneur has been racing CNN to attract a million followers on Twitter, and he barely won this morning. People are already suggesting the contest was rigged.

• The first quarter wasn't such a hot one for NBC Universal: Earnings dropped 45 percent as the ad market continued its downward spiral. [WSJ, TVWeek]
• The world's largest newsprint maker has gone bankrupt. [NYT]
• Rolling Stone is closing up shop in San Francisco. [Portfolio]
• Ads sales figures at The New York Times Co. are looking pretty ugly. [E&P]
• Some good news, at least for impoverished porn addicts: Time Warner no longer plans to charge customers based on bandwidth usage. [Wired]

CNN's Susan Roesgen went nuts on the air Wednesday at a Chicago tea party, blaming everything (accurately) on Fox News. But maybe she was angry because Fox turned her down for a job—twice!

Foxnews.com has published a screed taking the mainstream media to task for their "orally charged" coverage of the tea parties: Namely, the repeated use of the term "teabagging" for giggles.

• The Times is folding in several sections of the paper (City, Escapes); scrapping the weekly fashion spread in the New York Times Magazine, and cutting the budget for freelance writers. Grim times, indeed. [NYT, Gawker]
• NBC CEO Jeff Zucker is reportedly concerned that CNBC has become too conservative and is becoming "the anti-Obama network." [P6]
• The new Ben Silverman? That would be ABC's Stephen McPherson. [NYP]
• Bill O'Reilly tends to ambush liberals more often than he does conservatives. Could that mean he, like, has an agenda or something? How surprising! [NYT]
• Twitter on fire: Traffic is up 131 percent from February. [AdAge]
• Gannett Co. reported a 60 percent decline in first-quarter profit today. [AP]

It's about time: Anderson Cooper finally weighed in this whole teabagging phenomenon. The dashing CNN anchor seems surprisingly well versed!

• Amazon.com is in the hot seat for stripping gay and lesbian books of their sales rankings, something the bookseller is now calling a "glitch." [EW, WSJ]
• MSNBC is reportedly in the process of developing a weekend political show to be moderated by chief White House correspondent Chuck Todd. [NYO]
• More bad news for barely-living BlackBook: its longtime fashion director is out. And Jann Wenner's marketing chief is leaving Wenner Media. [WWD]
• Alpha Media has laid off a handful of employees at Maxim, including deputy editor Chris Wilson and editor-at-large Steve Garbarino. [NYO]
• Magazines are looking to raise subscription rates to save themselves. [NYT]

Media gossips wondered whether Casey Greenfield, daughter of CBS News political reporter Jeff Greenfield, was pregnant with the child of CNN's Jeffrey Toobin, an otherwise married man. The baby, a boy named Rory, is now born, but Toobin told Page Six he still has "nothing to say" about the child.