Michelle Bernard, MSNBC's right-wing pundit, is married to CNN's Joe John's. But as wowOwow's Andrew Belonsky learned rather awkwardly in an interview, they are currently separated. Also: Johns gets some seriously racist e-mail.

Jack Cafferty doesn't take any crap. Not from Chinese communists, not from "the facts," and damn sure not from some treasonous hippie protester. Especially when her headgear deeply offends the CNN commentator.

• The Chicago Sun-Times filed for bankruptcy protection today. [BN, NYT]
• Nielson is planning to cut 1,600 jobs, or 5% of its workforce. [AdAge]
• NBC is keeping the lights on at Friday Night Lights, after all. [NYT]
• Because it has precious other good news to report as it sits in fourth place, NBC says it saved $2 million last year by "going green." Congrats. [AP]
• MTV has ordered up four more seasons of The Real World. [THR]
• Sad news, soap fans: CBS is thinking about pulling the plug on Guiding Light, the longest-running daytime drama on television. [NYM]
• The MPAA reports global box office revenues were up 5.2% in 2008. [THR]
• Disney's TV unit has inked a distribution deal with YouTube. [NYT]
• How bad is the situation at CNN? "It's gotten so bad that Fox's Bill O'Reilly has actually taken to saying kind things about CNN, possibly out of pity." [MM]

It looks like you won't be seeing any less of Keith Olbermann on MSNBC anytime soon. Back in January, Phil Griffin, the network's president, told the Times that finding a new show to replace the rerun of Olbermann's Countdown at 10pm was a "top priority." But MSNBC's plans have changed, it seems. Griffin now says he's putting an "indefinite hold" on the search for someone new, which may have something to do with the fact a canned Olbermann still usually beats out CNN's Anderson Cooper:

• Mark Bowden's 11,000-word profile of Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. for the May issue of Vanity Fair is now online. And it ain't pretty. [VF]
• In other Times news, the paper is scrapping its "City" section and has shut down the International Herald Tribune website. [NYO, E&P]
• For the first time, CNN will finish March behind MSNBC and Fox News. [AP]
• He's only been on the air two months, but Glenn Beck's "conservative populist anger" has already put him right behind Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. [NYT]
• Adweek, MediaWeek and Brandweek may be folded together. [NYP]
• News Corp. is hiring ex-AOL CEO Jon Miller to lead its digital division. [WSJ]
• The Huffington Post is launching an investigative journalism site. [AP]
• MTV is bringing back music videos! Sort of. [NYT]

The final episode of D.L. Hughley's short-lived CNN show airs Saturday, but it's being censored because Hughley speaks the truth and The Man won't let him get high on TV which would be so cool.

CNN anchorlady Tamron Hall just goes bonkers in this clip of 8-year-old businesskid Tanner Leuellen, who patrolled the halls of a Chicago trade show looking for a job as "apprentice creator."

So a celebrity died from a traumatic brain injury this week and where was Sanjay Gupta?

CNN is flailing, trailing even sister network Headline News this month. With Campbell Brown about to go on maternity leave, are they preparing to quit the "No Bias, No Bull" posturing?

Anderson Cooper isn't about to make a dancing fool of himself with Ellen DeGeneres, like those other TV news anchors, whom he helpfully names. Plus, public displays of ardor just aren't his thing.

In a complete reversal, Sen. Chris Dodd admitted he inserted language into the stimulus bill allowing $165 million in bonuses to those AIG executives. But the President made him do it!

• NBC chief Jeff Zucker says that despite the fact Jim Cramer got his ass handed to him last week by Jon Stewart, it's had absolutely no impact on CNBC. Believe that and you may also be willing to buy that everything's perfect at MSNBC and NBC, and Zucker has a perfect head of hair, too. [Portfolio, B&C]
• Crain Communications has cut 150 staffers and sliced salaries by 10%. [PC]
• Don Hewitt, the creator of 60 Minutes, is in the hospital with cancer. [Wow]
• Media advertising fell 2.6% in 2008, according to Nielsen. [B&C]
• Interview seems to be having financial difficulties. [Gawker]
• Discovery has filed a patent suit against Amazon over the Kindle. [WSJ]
• The Hills's Audrina Patridge has a reality show of her own in the works. [THR]
• CNN's Lou Dobbs is a racist. But you probably knew that already. [Gawker]

Lou Dobbs is usually a belligerent xenophobe in honor of something Mexican, like a migrant worker, leprosy, asphalt or maybe just a cheese enchilada. Not today: The Irish made the CNN anchor insult everyone.

Lou Dobbs was once a reasonably well respected financial journalist before he traded in his green visor for a pitchfork and a white sheet. And now he's missing-in-action during the biggest financial story of his lifetime.

• Yet one more newspaper is folding. Hearst's Seattle Post-Intelligencer will shut down its print operations tomorrow, but its website will live on. [Seattle PI]
• The Sci Fi Channel is changing its name. To Syfy. This is not a joke. [NYT]
• CNN says it plans to "devote the bulk of its news effort this week" to covering the global financial meltdown. How timely! [NYT]
• Are CNN anchors Kyra Phillips and John Roberts secretly dating? [NYM]
• Book sales in the U.S. are down slightly, but they're up in Europe. [NYT]
• Andy Samberg will host the 2009 MTV Movie Awards. [THR]
• Barack Obama will appear on The Tonight Show on Thursday. [The Caucus]
• More on last week's management shakeup at Fox. [Variety]
• Sopranos creator David Chase is back at HBO with a new mini-series. [AB]
• Race to Witch Mountain was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [AP]

Remember those halcyon days when our fashion icons were strictly seen and not heard? Now the previously inscrutable Kate Moss happily talks on camera, Anna Wintour is starring in not one but two documentaries, and this Wednesday sees the debut of Carine Roitfeld's CNN Revealed special. Naturally, CNN is tantalizing us with plenty of snippets ahead of time, mostly focused on that earth-shattering issue: Does Carine really intend to steal Anna's job?

Hey, CNN: You've got a long sit-down with Dick Cheney. Would you like to maybe ask him about the newly-revealed assassination squads that reported directly to him, bypassing all military commanders?

The New Yorker's Seymour Hersh just spilled the beans on the roving killer team in Minnesota, leaving everyone terrified, as the investigative reporter tends to do, since he's constantly revealing, accurately, various secret horrors.

Man mountain of evil shmutz Dick Cheney recently appeared on CNN. Thank God, he's remanded to punditry forevermore. In two more years, he'll just be an evil florist.

CNN spent millions of dollars promoting Anderson Cooper. So it's no surprise the boyishly handsome anchor was recognized on a weekend jaunt to Savannah, Georgia. The question is what he was doing there.

Will the bad news for America never cease? CNN has gone and canceled its highest-rated Daily Show ripoff incongruously hosted by a mediocre standup comedian, "D.L. Hughley Breaks the News."