• New York talks to the owner of the Eldridge (left), the Lower East Side "hidden lounge/restaurant" with "chaperones, butlers, table attendants, and a hospitality consultant." [NYM]

As if having to survive in a sweltering war zone wasn't bad enough, MTV "stars" Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have announced plans to head to Iraq to "entertain" the troops. This means Heidi will probably sing her new single and another 10,000 Americans will go home with PTSD. [People]

It's the kind of story tailor-made for a slow news month. To go into the annals of creepy/gimmicky treatments along with cupping and leeches (did you know they're back?) here's a pedicure for those who find having their toes buffed and scrubbed by an actual person just too pedestrian: Instead, you can stick your feet in a fish tank and have all your rough skin nibbled away by tiny karp. Allegedly the practice started in Turkey, is popular in some Asian countries, and has of course been enjoyed by Vanessa Williams' Wilhelmina in Ugly Betty. Still, we wouldn't recommend holding your breath waiting for it to come to your local Korean salon. After the jump, see Diane Sawyer break out the "fish-cam" and let the hungry fish loose on her feet, a sensation she describes as like "tiny little kisses."

• Is Eurotrash social networking site ASmallWorld.net running low on cash? It seems employees weren't paid on time last week. [Gawker]

The Wall Street Journal has the skinny on the hedge funders who are "defying skeptics who questioned whether they could keep their runs going." John Paulson's fund is up 20 percent through the end of June; Phil Falcone's Harbinger Capital Partners I is up 42 percent; and Daniel Arbess, who oversees Perella Weinberg's Xerion fund, posted a 25 percent gain. What about Lehman short-seller David Einhorn, who earned such breathless coverage from New York a few weeks ago? "Up only a few percentage points through June." [WSJ]

Al Gore's eldest daughter, Karenna Gore Schiff, and her venture capitalist husband Andrew closed on the sale of their 4,000-square-foot Upper East Side duplex at 137 East 66th Street yesterday. The apartment had been home to the couple since 2003; the new occupant will be Fabrizio Freda, the newly-installed president of Estée Lauder who is expected to take over as CEO when William Lauder steps down later this year. After the jump, a peak at how the former VP's daughter lived, and just what Freda is getting for his $6.35 million.

The six people above are all offspring of notable New Yorkers. Know who they are? Answers after the jump!

Bloomberg has a long piece online about the troubles at Lehman Bros. The most amusing detail about the firm's squash-obsessed CEO, Dick Fuld: "Even when he's under stress and eats compulsively—as he did one marathon weekend in June, when associates say he gorged on hamburgers, fries and turkey sandwiches every hour—he doesn't appear to put on weight or break a sweat." [Bloomberg]

The Clock Tower Building on Madison Avenue, which Israeli billionaire Lev Leviev's company paid $200 million for last year, is getting a blingtastic makeover. Versace will design the former MetLife headquarters' 55 apartments—including a six-story penthouse with its own spa, wine-storage facility and cigar room—with Donatella herself designing the complex's "club." Renovations are expected to take two years and $110 million, but if you've got some significant spare change and a yearning to live like a mahogany-tanned, bleached-blonde, chain-smoking, gold-dripping, recovering cokehead, then the sales office opens in September, with move-ins scheduled for February 2010.

In honor of his birthday today, the voicemail recording on John Leguizamo's cell phone.

You can bet the always-elegant Oscar de la Renta will be especially well-dressed today: He turns 76. Other people celebrating: Actor Willem Dafoe is 53. Comedian John Leguizamo is turning 44, as is David Spade. Crooner Rufus Wainwright is 35. Literary queen Ann Godoff is 59. So is union leader Mike Fishman. Advertising honcho John Wren turns 56. And Danny Glover is 62.

Sure, the Today Show isn't the cash cow it once was, but has it really gotten to this? Weekend anchor Amy Robach signed up for a personal assistant service online as part of a recent story. For $1 a day, she had an employee in India do all her dirty work, which, in her case, involved scheduling appointments with doctors and buying her grandma a birthday present. But this may just be a sign of things to come! Just wait until Brian Williams has to explain to "Ray"—who actually happens to be named Rajiv and a resident of Hyderabad—that he doesn't like mayonnaise on his tunafish sandwiches. The clip after the jump.

Remember Richie Randazzo, the Park Avenue doorman who collected $5 million thanks to a scratch-off lottery ticket? Richie's about to get fired from his job at 1021 Park: It seems he's been skipping out of work to play Blackjack in Atlantic City and for refusing to wear his uniform when he does show up. On the bright side, he's now dating a Swedish model and plans to collect unemployment if and when he gets the ax. [NYP]

Terribly disappointing news today for senior managing directors at Merrill Lynch: They will now need permission to hop aboard one of the company jets. (One of Merrill's Gulfstreams is at left; the full-size is here). It seems the struggling bank has realized that it might save a couple of bucks if bankers weren't commandeering a 12-seater every time they had to, say, go to Philadelphia for a meeting. So now senior execs will not only have to get permission from the global head of investment banking, they'll also have to "demonstrate there is no more efficient means of transport." Headed to Boston? We hear the Fung Wah is pretty efficient! [FT]

• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner may be back together, possibly because Ivanka has agreed to convert to Judaism if the relationship gets serious. [Page Six]

The Obama campaign instructed staffers not to wear the color green during the Democratic candidate's trip to the Middle East. "An Obama aide explained to reporters that green is the color associated with the militant Palestinian group Hamas." Apparently, crescent-shaped croissants may be next. [Politico]

• An Abu Dhabi investment fund says it has agreed to an $8 billion commercial-finance partnership with General Electric. [WSJ]

• Donald Trump has listed a penthouse at Trump Park Avenue with a Russian broker in hopes of selling the pad to "a different type of buyer," namely, a newly-rich Russian who pays in cash. (One of these perhaps?) The apartment (pictured) is currently on the market for $45 million. [NYT, Prudential Douglas Elliman]

Think the economy would have made some people think twice before spending stacks of money on elaborate nuptials? Not so, according to the Daily News, which reports that not only are people still having full-blown weddings, they're increasingly doing it twice. Needless to say, celebrities are leading the trend, including Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky, and Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. [NYDN]

• Tom Ford may or may not adopt a child, but if he decides to do so, he says that the unwashed public will never gaze upon the lucky creature. "No one will see the child and the child won’t be photographed." [FWD]