A deranged man stalking Uma Thurman? That we can understand. (Well, sort of.) But Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels? We really didn't see this one coming. According to the Post, a "poor, paranoid guy from Long Island" named Evans Pidhajecky has been charged with dropping in on Michaels at least six times over the past year. Pidhajecky is apparently convinced that Michaels "overheard" his private "conversations, singing and/or other utterances" and, naturally, wanted credit for his efforts. But instead of prosecuting him, wouldn't it make more sense for Michaels to be thanking him right now? Call us crazy, but this may be the first time in years that anyone willingly took credit for anything that appeared on the show.

Just who are the city's biggest media titans supporting this November? Below, details on the campaign contributions of Jeff Bewkes, Dick Parsons, Barry Diller, Jann Wenner, Bob Wright, Mel Karmazin, Robert F.X. Sillerman, Ben Silverman, and a handful of others.

Gossip blogger Perez Hilton (or Mario Lavandiera) has no problem stealing from other people, but it seems he isn't too happy when the tables are turned. According to court papers made public today, the attention-seeking loudmouth is claiming that the website Perezrevenge.com infringed on his trademark and lifted his "content" without permission. The full complaint after the jump.

• Just over a year after he picked up a 24,463-square-foot townhouse at 4-8 East 94th Street for $23 million—and after completely gutting the place—Apollo Real Estate Advisors managing partner Richard Mack has put the property back on the market for $59 million with Carrie Chiang. [NYO, Corcoran]

If you're looking for that item that Howard was complaining about on the air this morning, it's here. Oh, and feel free to stop emailing us. You're outraged. We get it. Thanks!

• Jann Wenner is no longer interested in selling Us Weekly. [NYP]

Eight bottles of perfume/cologne and the eight celebrities to blame for unleashing them on the naive public: Recognize the hands or the shapes of the bottles? The answer key after the jump.

The still-stunning Stephanie Seymour turns 40 today. Also celebrating: Aged radio personality Don Imus is 68, Philip Seymour Hoffman is 41, and local news institution Kaity Tong is 59. Estate jeweler Fred Leighton (who is actually named Murray Mondschein) is 76. Harry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe is turning 19. Omar Epps is 35. The New Yorker's Hendrik "Rick" Hertzberg is turning 65. And former Law & Order actress Stephanie March will celebrate her 34th birthday tonight, an event that we imagine will be commemorated with an extravagant meal alongside husband, Bobby Flay.

Tinsley Mortimer may finally grab the gold ring of blue-blood legitimacy: She and husband Topper have applied to be members of the exclusive Southampton Bathing Corporation and are currently "under review." If accepted, Tinz will have the pleasure of dipping her toes in the same pool as Muffie Potter Aston. She'll also be assured that her weekends will be African-American-free. Well, aside from the staff, that is. [NYO]

The voicemail recording on Victoria Gotti's cell phone.

New York Times columnist Philip Galanes has a new novel out, Emma's Table, and it features a character based on Martha Stewart, "fresh from a year-long stretch in prison and the public bloodletting that accompanied her fall," who ends up finding redemption with the help of an antique dining table. Considering he's both a lawyer and an etiquette expert, Galanes should be well-equipped to deal with any potential reaction from Stewart. [Reuters]

• Frank Bruni hands out two stars to Szechuan Gourmet in Midtown where, he says, "the heat is almost always on, and it comes at you in different ways." [NYT]

The Times explores Anthony Weiner's temper today, and just as he gets his mayoral campaign off the ground, too! The "intense" and "demanding" Weiner harasses his employees on weekends, speaks "at a high decibel level most of the time," is "rough on office furniture," and hangs up on people. Weiner's response? "When you grow up in Brooklyn, you know, sometimes arguing is the sport." [NYT]

So why did Isaac Mizrahi terminate his massively successful and lucrative collaboration with Target in order to take up with dull old office-wear staple Liz Claiborne, where he's now creative director? He's not telling Meredith Bryan due to being "contractually muzzled," but naturally the loquacious designer has plenty to say on other subjects, from the Xanax he takes before attending the CFDA dinner ("I can't make it though without a tranquilizer, that's just it, I'm sorry,") to vlogging, which he calls "this strange, insatiable desire to keep going on and on and on, to keep expressing yourself, you know?" to his weight: "I'm so fat, I'm so fat, I'm so huge," to his new TV projects:

• Ron Perelman isn't interested in quietly settling his custody dispute with Patricia Duff. Not surprisingly, he's not interested in going to therapy with her either, despite a judge's recommendation. [Page Six]

• House and Senate leaders have sorted out an arrangement to prop up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. [WSJ]

• Lydia Hearst is no longer just a pretty face, says OK mag, now that she's joined the cast of Gossip Girl. We won't attempt to parse that logic, but focus instead on the delightful news that things are going well with Lydia's boyfriend Matt Rains, Heatherette designer Traver's brother. The couple enjoys "bowling, botanical gardens and walking through Central Park together." How wholesome! [OK]

Keri Russell and her son River going grocery shopping in Brooklyn ... Lindsay Lohan showing up for work on the set of Ugly Betty ... Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly at a parking garage ... Meg Ryan and her son taking a stroll through SoHo ... Ice-T shooting a scene for Law & Order ... Gwyneth Paltrow taking a walk in the Hamptons while Madonna pushes Apple in a stroller ... Ashanti posing for photos in Rockefeller Plaza.

The town of Southampton, the Southampton Police Department, and a handful of others were slapped with a lawsuit today by the owners of the Hampton Bays Diner on Montauk Highway. The charges? The owners of the restaurant, Frank and Maria Vlahadamis, contend that when they started playing Spanish music on Saturday nights—and real, live Latinos started turning up—the town and the State Liquor Authority created a "trumped-up" case to shutter the diner. It's juicy stuff. After the jump, you can peruse the entire 77-page complaint, accounts of Gestapo-like tactics, and the allegedly racist rhetoric uttered by town officials.

• After living out of the Bowery Hotel for months, Ann Dexter-Jones has finally found her new home. The socialite mom of Sam, Mark, and Charlotte Ronson paid $1.795 million for a four-bedroom West Village duplex at 42 West 9th Street. The 2,200-square-foot apartment features four fireplaces and stained glass doors. [Cityfile]