• How is Twitter going to make money? With a reality TV series, naturally. The show will involve "putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format," in case you were wondering. [Variety]
• The primetime lineups for next year "are chockablock with shows meant to make recession-weary viewers laugh and feel better." How encouraging! [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as for Roland Martin, who has been subbing for Campbell Brown recently. [Page Six]
• Bravo's next Real Housewives installment: Washington, DC. [Daily Intel]
• Fox News nut Greta Van Susteren may not be around for long. Rumor has it her contract won't be be renewed and Megyn Kelly will replace her. [NYT]
• New York lost close to $5 million last year; with ad pages down 37 percent thus far in 2009, "losses are expected to be even higher this year." [NYP]
• A Russian investment firm has dropped $200 million into Facebook's bank account in return for a 1.96 percent stake in the company. [NYT]
• Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum sequel beat out the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise with a four-day pull of $70 million. [Reuters]

The Real Housewives of New York City concluded its season a couple of weeks ago, but if you're thirsting for more of Kelly Bensimon, Obsessed TV has you covered. Kelly rambles on for close to 30 minutes with host Samantha Ettus and explains, among other things, how she's really responsible for making her ex-husband, Gilles Bensimon, the famed photographer he is today; attributes the demise of her marriage to "political infighting" at Elle and the "success" of her 2004 book American Style (which, she says, changed the fashion industry forever); and explains that her ex-boyfriend—the one that she allegedly assaulted—is just "a boy that needs a lot of love." At least her doing a decent job in the parenting department: When one of her kids tells her that she's famous, she explains that she's "infamous for my antics, but not famous." [ObsessedTV.com]

Wall Street looks nothing like it did a year ago, of course, but here's a sign that things may be even more desperate than previously imagined: Some hedge funders are offering to work for free. Why would people accustomed to earning seven-figure annual incomes in the past stoop to this? For one thing, lying to your wife and telling her you have "meetings" to go to and then spending the afternoon playing online poker at a Starbucks in Midtown gets old after awhile. And working for free might just lead to a real job in the future. That's the thinking, at least:

The MTA may be cutting back on staff and service, but there's one area where it continues to shell out big bucks: The agency reports it spends $30 to $60 million a year to settle personal injury suits and has handed out almost $1 billion over the past two decades. Despite efforts to close loopholes that make the transit system an easy target for people who have no one to blame for their injuries but themselves—such as the drunken teen who walked away with $1.4 million after he jumped onto the tracks, tried to outrun a train, and ended up losing both the race and his legs—the suits persist. Of course, if there weren't frivolous lawsuits against the city, about half of the MTA's advertising revenue would go up in smoke, so it probably all balances out in the end. [NYDN]

"Hip Manhattan-ites" Wanted [EVGrieve]

Fewer rappers are wearing bling, according to your source for all things hip-hop related, the Wall Street Journal. But it's not because they've suddenly realized that diamond-encrusted necklaces are no longer appropriate given the economic climate. It's because they can no longer afford them and they're now asking jewelers to make medallions with less-precious stones and metals so they can keep up appearances. Whether this is really true is anybody's guess. But if it is, poor Jacob the Jeweler is in for quite a surprise when he gets out of out of prison in about 18 months or so, isn't he? [WSJ]

• Hedge fund manager/art collector Adam Sender and his wife Lenore didn't have much luck unloading their three units at 15 Broad Street last November for $10.995 million. But they did better with their apartment in Soho. Last Friday, the couple closed on the sale of their fourth-floor apartment at 109 Greene Street for $3.695 million. [Cityfile]
• The cuts continue at 11 Spring Street, the 12,128-square-foot "townhouse" owned by Caroline Cumming, which originally went on the market for $39.8 million, was reduced to $36.5 million in November, and then reduced again to $29.5 million last month. It's now down to $26 million. [NYO, PDE]
• A second-floor duplex at the Plaza has sold for $11.786 million. The purchaser of the three-bedroom unit with 4,283 square feet is listed in property records as Paradeplatz Ltd. [Real Deal]

Merrill Lynch's disgraced CEO, John Thain, turns 53 today. Rocker Lenny Kravitz is turning 45. Helena Bonham Carter turns 43. Matt Stone, the co-creator of South Park, is turning 38. Stevie Nicks is 61. Mega-lawyer and Cravath partner Robert D. Joffe is 66. Socialite Annie Churchill is turning 38. Architect Bruce Fowle is 72. Pam Grier (Foxy Brown) turns 60. North Carolina Senator Kay Hagan is turning 56. Comedian "Bobcat" Goldthwait is 47. And Philip Michael Thomas of Miami Vice fame celebrates his 60th birthday today.

• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to Jack McCollough for head-butting him, and charges against the actor are likely to be dropped. Not that he's learned much of a lesson: He was spotted boozing it up on the LES with his daughter in tow last week. [NYP, P6]
• The celebrity crime wave continues: Kevin Bacon had his BlackBerry stolen from him last week. And Monica Bellucci and husband Vincent Cassel had more than a quarter of a million dollars in cash and jewels taken from them while they were attending the Cannes Film Festival. [NYP, DM]
• Mel Gibson has confirmed that he and his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, are expecting. [People, NYDN]
• Mariah Carey spent Memorial Day in Turkey. Why Turkey? Because a hotel paid her $1.5 million to perform, that's why. [P6]

There's a new Hamptons venue you'll want to add to the list of places to stay miles away from this summer. Actually, it's not new. It Dune in Southampton, which is sporting a new name this season—"The Axe Lounge"—as part of a silly marketing scheme concocted by, yes, Axe. The stunt is the brainchild of Mike Heller, the nightlife promoter-turned-entertainment marketer whose stellar resume includes putting a smoke-free tobacco product called Ariva in the hands of Lindsay Lohan and connecting America's Next Top Model's CariDee English with Raptiva, which is apparently a psoriasis medication of some sort. (He's the one crouching down in the photo, by the way.)

The annual El Museo del Barrio gala took place at Cipriani 42nd on Wednesday night. As Governor David Paterson and wife Michelle Paterson entered, a mariachi band serenaded him with "Happy Birthday"—in Spanish, of course—since it also happened to be Paterson's 55th birthday. Joining in on the sing-along: Carolina Herrera, Yaz and Valentin Hernandez, Emilio Estefan, Narciso Rodriguez, Jason Wu, John Leguizamo, Ruben Toledo and Isabel Toledo, Simon Doonan, Gillian and Sylvester Miniter, Meredith Melling Burke, Brian Reyes, Angel Sanchez, Carmen Slade, Geoffrey Bradfield, Tommy Tune, Ines Gomez, Candy Pratts Price, and a Gloria Estefan lookalike who performed for the crowd since the real Gloria couldn't make it. [PMc, WWD, Style, NYO, P6]

According to the National Enquirer's sister publication, RadarOnline.com, Gisele Bundchen is with child. She doesn't look like she's carrying Tom Brady's spawn, at least judging by recent photos. But digging through celebrities' trash for their used home pregnancy kits can occasionally pay off, so who knows. You're more than welcome to speculate for yourself after looking at a few pics of the supermodel below.

• Want to buy Playboy? Mail a check for $300 million to Hugh Hefner. [NYP]
• A look at the "highlights, lowlights and sidelights" from upfront week. [NYT]
• The Cannes Film Festival didn't stir up as much buzz as in years past, although industry types are hoping/praying that the worst is over. [WSJ]
• Tyra Banks will have 12 hours of airtime a week on the CW this fall; if she "gets hit by a car this year, the CW will have to go out of business." [NYP]
• Bruce will be the last act at Giants Stadium before it's demolished. [AP]
• T+L's new pro-travel ad campaign suggests people "please go away." [WWD]
• Vintage Books is promoting Netherland with a blurb by Barack Obama. [NYO]
• Jon Peters' tell-all about Hollywood sure sounds interesting! [DHD]

The situation at the Weinstein Co. is getting pretty dire: Poor Bob Weinstein was forced to fly home from Cannes on a commercial plane. In coach, no less. To make matters worse, he was seated at the rear of the plane, "leaving the mogul to stew in the back of the cabin while the minutes to his next plane ticked by, instead of in the front of the line, where he's more accustomed to stand." The gentle, generous demeanor he shares with his brother is unchanged, though. As he left the plane, a woman asked him to help her reach her carry-on bag in the overhead compartment. Weinstein's response: "That'll be ten bucks." Too bad he was kidding! Ever little bit helps when you've blown through $1.2 billion and you still haven't managed to come up with a winner at the box office. [The Wrap]

Don Drapkin was once one of Ron Perelman's closest associates. A former lawyer at Skadden, Arps, Drapkin spent 20 years working for Perelman's holding company MacAndrews & Forbes as his chief dealmaker and "strategic thinker." He was so close to Perelman, in fact, that the billionaire mogul once likened him to a brother. Until, that is, Drapkin jumped ship in 2007 and joined Lazard as the firm's vice chairman at the invitation of Lazard chief Bruce Wasserstein. The split seemed uncharacteristically amicable at the time—Perelman announced that Drapkin had "done a terrific job," and he'd "miss him." But the relationship seems to have taken a turn for the worse since then. Perelman just hit Drapkin with a lawsuit.

The MTA is making plans to get rid of the MetroCard. Outgoing MTA chief Elliot Sander—today is his last day on the job—says that an E-ZPass-like system will eventually be introduced, so you don't have to wait on lines or actually lift your wrist or anything. Instead, "sensors on turnstiles or near bus entrances would detect a card or key-fob-like device and automatically deduct the fare from bank or credit accounts." The system won't be in place in 2011, though, so you have plenty of time to pick up a Metrocard bikes and dresses before they become collectors' items. [NYP]

Olivia Palermo starts her new "job" in Elle's publicity department next week. But she isn't coming alone: Since the gig will be incorporated into the next season of The City, she'll be followed around the entire time by a MTV camera crew. This probably explains why Elle staffers have been sprucing up the office ahead of her arrival and even repainted the reception area. Or perhaps this is how the magazine welcomes all new entry-level staffers these days? [WWD]

What do party fixtures Andrew Saffir and Daniel Benedict have planned this weekend? Glad you asked! "Memorial Day weekend we divide our time between the South of France for the fin of the Cannes Film Festival and the fin of an all-American East Hampton holiday weekend. While I'd like to say we will be going to an endless array of barbecues, clambakes and Summer kick-off parties, we're more likely to be asleep on the beach nursing our exhaustion from eleven consecutive 3 a.m. nights of rosé and Bellini-soaked parties and trop de Croisette carrousing." [FWD]

Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming walking on the Upper West Side ... Kelly Ripa shopping with her kids in Soho ... Ivanka Trump walking into NBC ... Matt Damon getting in an SUV with wife Luciana and daughters Isabella and Gia ... Cynthia Nixon with with Christine Marinoni talking on her cell phone ... Hugh Jackman eating popsicles in the park with his kids, Oscar and Ava ... Taylor Momsen getting out of a car ... Karolina Kurkova walking downtown ... Ashlee Simpson leaving the Children's Museum of Manhattan on West 83rd Street ... Jesse James getting in an SUV ... Chace Crawford, Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick walking around together in Soho ... Rihanna going into a movie theater downtown ... Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling shooting scenes for their new movie in Queens ... and Anne Hathaway walking her dog in the East Village.

Ralph Lauren's has released a new perfume called "Notorious." And just the name alone has Chandler Burr, the New York Times's resident "scent expert," up in arms. From his latest column: