Finally, the political-daughter-turned-memoirist smackdown we've been waiting for: Bristol Palin is taking on Meghan McCain.

Basketball games are among the best places for spotting celebrities in the wild. Since the famous folk frequent court side seats, the view is often unobstructed; the lighting is good; cameras are welcome; and, due to the magic of assigned seating, they often end up interacting with unexpected members of their flock. Case in point: At last night's NBA All-Stars game, Justin Bieber sat next to Rihanna.

Tonight, Jon Stewart spent a few minutes discussing, in detail, just how ridiculous and archaic—not to mention ever-evolving—John McCain's stance on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is, marking Stewart's harshest critique yet of McCain's increasingly indefensible views. Watch inside.

Cindy McCain caused a stir by denouncing Don't Ask Don't Tell in a spot for a pro-gay marriage organization even as her husband blocks any attempt to repeal the law. But wait! She actually supports John's position?

Props to Cindy McCain for supporting gay marriage. Ditto Elizabeth Edwards, back in the day. But their husbands remain(ed) recalcitrant. Are political wives more liberal, or are they just saying what their husbands are too chicken to admit?

Just in time for A year after the Proposition 8 vote, woulda-been First Lady Cindy McCain has lent her support, and image, to the No H8 Campaign, a pro-marriage equality group. Timely as it may not be, good on her.

Governor David Paterson turns 55 today. Cher is 63. Newsweek editor Jon Meacham is turning 40. NBC chief legal correspondent Dan Abrams is turning 43. Busta Rhymes is 37. The Food Network's Ted Allen is 44. Interior designer Stephen Sills turns 58. Joe Cocker is 65. Ron Reagan, the son of Ronald and Nancy Reagan, is 51. Former Yankee David Wells turns 46. And Cindy McCain is turning 55 today.

Everyone is out to spite everyone: Jay Leno ruined 90 minutes of Conan O'Brien's life; Lindsay Lohan is refusing to eat and John McCain isn't letting his wife go on that fun TV program.

• Sarah Jessica Parker is dying to cast Britney Spears as Carrie Bradshaw's younger cousin or niece in the next Sex and the City movie, or at least that's the rumor anyway. [MTV]
• Jeremy Piven was not on the plane that crashed yesterday, just in case you were worried or anything. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan says she works "as hard" as other actors, but she gets no credit due to the "mess that I created in my life." [NYP]
• Is John McCain thwarting our chance to see Cindy McCain on Dancing With the Stars? Say it isn't so! [P6]

Your National Enquirer newspaper has published photos purporting to show Cindy McCain, fragile, lonely beer heiress wife to Senator John McCain, kissing some guy who isn't Senator John McCain! "Multiple witnesses" caught Cindy and this mystery man "lip locking on several other occasions." The guy is "a long-haired man who resembles 'a washed-up '80s rock musician,'" apparently. Just read the "stunned reaction of an eyewitness":

An eagle-eyed political observer noticed a few uncanny similarities between First Lady hopeful Cindy McCain and those victimized blondes populating so much of Alfred Hitchcock's work. We can't say we disagree, though if the natural next step requires Mrs. McCain to race through the Arizona desert tonight with a few thousand stolen dollars from her husband's campaign, we'd urge her to skip the shower when she stops for a rest.

Not a moment too soon, the prospective first ladies have received some invaluable advice on how to handle life in the White House from Holly Peterson, socialite and esteemed author of The Manny, who appeared on Fox over the weekend just moments after stumbling out of bed, judging by her unbrushed hair and croaky voice. Not that this detracted from the depth of her wisdom, as you'll see.

Isaac Mizrahi appeared on CNN yesterday to promote his new book, How to Get Style. When a CNN anchor asked the designer about how the First Lady fashion has evolved over the years, Mizrahi used it as an opportunity to gush about how fabulous it will be to have Michelle Obama in the White House: "The First Lady that I'm thinking about is a smart and stylish person," he starts. "I don't think it's a moment to be flashy and way glamorous if you're the First Lady, but I don't think Michelle Obama will disappoint. She's going to be gorgeous." And how about Cindy McCain? Isaac has no interest in even contemplating such a horrible thought, thank you very much. Video after the jump.

Cindy McCain is the saddest figure in this miserable election. Seriously, we feel real sympathy for this woman, rich and brittle and Obama-smearing though she may be. We read the Ariel Levy story. She's got a distant, temperamental, emotionally abusive husband she never sees (until election season!) and she can't even develop a painkiller addiction in peace without the press jumping all over it (because her family certainly didn't notice or care). So it's cruel, really, that the National Enquirer is jumping all over the various obvious easily disproved lies she's told on the campaign trail about meeting Mother Theresa and visiting her husband's Vietnamese hospital bed. You can click to read the story, though you won't learn anything you didn't learn from the Levy profile and the New York Times piece on her sad life.

• MC: Did you get a chill?
  CM: I did. I got a chill, and I also was very poignantly reminded of just how strong my husband is, how tough and determined. -Cindy McCain to Marie Claire on visiting her husbands former hospital in Vietnam.

A website called View Their Views has put its esteemed, one-month old reputation for YouTube-embedding excellence on the line to bring you some breaking investigative news or false-flag smears or whatever about John McCain's eldest biological daughter, Sidney. Exposed as a showbiz Democrat and "rebellious... boundary pusher" in the Times last year, Sidney supposedly had a baby at the age of 20 or 21 and gave it up for adoption. Of course she wasn't married at the time, so now McCain doesn't want anything to do with the granddaughter, and ignores her desperate calls every Christmas Eve to all 43 of his houses. That could be because she isn't real, except as a Democratic hit piece, or as a supposed Democratic hit piece that makes us pity GOTCHA smear victim John McCain. But it could also be because she is real and the Republican ticket is already too full of obscure sons, daughters, half-siblings, adopted kids and love children to handle another. McCain probably can't keep track of them or even remember their names, so here's a nice list of the more prominent ones:

John McCain at least made eye contact with Barack Obama during tonight's presidential debate. But that seemed to be about all the pleasantry he could manage. First he called Obama "that one." Now blogs are burning up with chatter that McCain also refused Obama's post-debate handshake, pointing him to wife Cindy instead.

On John McCain's last fundraiser jaunt through Hollywood, he attracted a motley crew of the men and women who make up the industry's smallest club: Republicans. Hollywood titans like Wilford Brimley, Craig T. Nelson, and Jon Cryer (who was just gathering information!) all turned out to support the candidate who thinks "celebrity" is a dirty word and has the endorsement roster to prove it. So what glittering surprises did McCain have up his sleeve for last night's McCain/Palin fundraiser across the street from CAA? Let's take a look!

This is Amy Lumet, the California socialite daughter of filmmaker Sidney Lumet (and granddaughter of chanteuse Lena Horne!) As you might have noted, she is voluptuous! Three years ago she told the Village Voice she wanted to be in Playboy; she apparently used to model. We bring her up today because of some highly unsubstantiated internet rumors that she had an affair with John McCain during the Gulf War while she was married to cancer-stricken conservative pundit P.J. O'Rourke and O'Rourke was on assignment in the Middle East, where John McCain's wife was coincidentally consuming some of the aircraft carriers worth of Percocet she took to cope with the pain of her loveless marriage. We might wait for more evidence as to the veracity of such a rumor if the mere existence of Amy Lumet were not so fascinating in itself.For instance, did you know…

Poor Diddy stepping in dog poop while his bodyguard glares at the paparazzi photographers capturing the embarrassing moment ... Blake Lively and Chace Crawford filming a scene on the set of Gossip Girl ... Terri and Bindi Irwin getting out of an SUV in front of their hotel ... John and Cindy McCain on the set of Rachael Ray's show ... James Taylor carrying a shopping bag in Midtown ... Celine Dion signing autographs for fans outside her hotel ... Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa shooting a segment outside ... Katie Holmes on stage for the opening night of her play and then leaving dinner with Tom Cruise afterward ... and David Blaine and Donald Trump announcing Blaine's next stunt inside Trump Tower.