A website called View Their Views has put its esteemed, one-month old reputation for YouTube-embedding excellence on the line to bring you some breaking investigative news or false-flag smears or whatever about John McCain's eldest biological daughter, Sidney. Exposed as a showbiz Democrat and "rebellious... boundary pusher" in the Times last year, Sidney supposedly had a baby at the age of 20 or 21 and gave it up for adoption. Of course she wasn't married at the time, so now McCain doesn't want anything to do with the granddaughter, and ignores her desperate calls every Christmas Eve to all 43 of his houses. That could be because she isn't real, except as a Democratic hit piece, or as a supposed Democratic hit piece that makes us pity GOTCHA smear victim John McCain. But it could also be because she is real and the Republican ticket is already too full of obscure sons, daughters, half-siblings, adopted kids and love children to handle another. McCain probably can't keep track of them or even remember their names, so here's a nice list of the more prominent ones:

Adopted Wedlock Granddaughter X (Alleged!)

Rumored daughter to McCain's eldest daughter Sidney (pictured). Born September 8, 1987 on Long Island. "Soon after, she was adopted by a couple living in New York at the time," said View Their Views. "The identity of the biological father is unknown."

Cindy McCain's Secret Half Sisters

John McCain's wife likes to say she's an "only child" but — whoops — her Dad had a daughter in his first marriage, Kathleen Hensley Portalski, while her mom had a daughter from a previous relationship, Dixie Burd. The first daughter, at least, didn't like being edited out of Cindy's life story. (Photo via Washington Post)

McCain's Forgotten Bangladeshi Adopted Daughter

McCain's adopted Bangladeshi daughter Bridget hit the campaign trail with her dad in 2000 before being smeared as an "illegitimate black child" in a push poll in the South Carolina primary. This time around, biological daughter Meghan has become by far the most visible McCain child during the primaries, blogging and appearing alone in a People magazine photo with her parents. Granted, none of McCain's six other kids made it into that People spread, and Bridget was introduced to delegates at the Republican National Convention. But she seems to have remained largely in the background. It's almost like she's not there. COINCIDENCE??

McCain's Bank-Failing Adopted Son

McCain adopted the two sons of his first wife, Carol, including Andrew. Unlike McCain's Iraq veteran son and Naval cadet son, neither was mentioned by Cindy in her Republican National Convention speech. That may be because Andrew sat on the board, as well as the audit committee, of a Nevada bank that failed over bad loans and had to be taken over by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.

And we're probably forgetting a ton of others. Ha ha, that's kind of the point, you see.