The maker of the erectile dysfunction drug Cialis is seeking permission to sell the drug over the counter when its patent expires in 2017. The most dangerous side effect of this plan: bad jokes. Help us beat dick joke dysfunction, starting now.

Cholesterol diabeetus! Docto procto! Death surgery! Concussion athletes! Cantaloupe killers! Cell harvest! Cialis excuses! Man breasts! And you monkeys won't get away with this, after all! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—on the real!

Not to alarm you, but forces beyond your control are working right now to limit your right to be bombarded with ads for dick-hardening pills during every televised sporting event and prime time show. Sex-hating Puritans? Even worse: doctors.

Today on Fox and Friends' Who's Ruining the Economy? segment, host Stuart Varney is up in arms, defending you, the American taxpayer, from free Viagra for Milwaukee public school teachers.

In a study released today in the Annals of Internal Medicine, doctors found that men who take pills for erectile dysfunction (Viagra, Cialis) showed triple the rate of STDs than men who don't. This newfound prowess leads to riskier sex.