• What's Ashley Dupre been up to recently? She's been doing lots of yoga, which she credits with saving her life. And it also introduced her to Russell Simmons, who is now her "mentor" and is making her feel more "liberated." Is that the term they use these days? [P6]
• LiLo and Sam Ronson got in another fight outside a club. This one was caught on tape, however. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel may be engaged. [NYDN]
• Breaking! George Clooney got drunk at a bar St. Louis last weekend. [NYDN]

Nadya Suleman might consider her decision to have octuplets "irrational," but she's still totally going to sell the birth video. Maybe Ashley Dupre can teach her how to meditate amid 14 screaming kids.

The consummate professionals at the Fox & Friends morning show discussed Chris Brown and Rihanna's music careers this morning with all the sensitivity you've come to expect. Which is exactly none.

• If you're out shopping and you find yourself facing off against Kelly Killoren Bensimon for the last dress in your size, let her have it: The former model and Real Housewives star was arrested and charged with third-degree assault last week after punching her 30-year-old boyfriend in the face, leaving him with a "black eye and opening a blood-gushing gash on his left cheek." [NYP, NYDN]
• Poor Olivia Palermo says she's been misrepresented by MTV producers, since she's actually "a much nicer person in real life." Also? She's currently "vacationing in London with her model boyfriend," if you're interested. [People]
• How's this for a comeback: Rihanna and Chris Brown have reportedly been holed up in a studio working on a new track together for the past few days. [E!]

Why would Rihanna record a duet with her abusive boyfriend? Why would Marc Jacobs talk about his junk with Victoria Beckham? Did Quentin Tarantino just ask me for change? Tuesday is confusing.

Donald Trump sure has a knack for sucking publicity out of other people's pain, doesn't he? Just a few months after capitalizing on Ed McMahon's financial problems and wading into Jennifer Hudson's family tragedy, he's now inserting himself into the Rihanna-Chris Brown mess, telling Inside Edition's Deborah Norville that he'll consider Rihanna a "loser" if she ends up getting back together with Brown. Point taken, although given his epic failure in Atlantic City last month, his epic failure in Mexico last week, and his sagging ratings for the latest season for The Apprentice, it's safe to say Rihanna won't be the only name on the list. [LAT]

Also: Britney Spears will scare you, Gossip Girl stars are better than you, Michael Moore will make a fool of you, and Scarlett Johansson will drink with you (if you are an old man).

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou are married. Sort of. The couple reportedly traveled to Africa last summer to tie the knot in a secret ceremony, but the marriage isn't valid in the US since Kimora was still married to Russell Simmons at the time. But Djimon went shopping for an engagement ring last week, so they'll sort it all out soon enough. [NYDN]
• An escort who claims she serviced Eliot Spitzer has lots of details to share about the encounter, if you're feeling brave this morning. Among other things, she claims he liked to choke her during sex. [R&M]
• Jeffrey Toobin doesn't believe that he's the father of Casey Greenfield's baby, although she's asking for a paternity test to know for sure. [R&M]
• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have split up. Again. [People]

As Chris Brown negotiates a plea deal, the R&B singer is making it known Rihanna struck him first that infamous night in Los Angeles. Why does he think it matters?

Every week we get lots of comments, some of which we just can't let through. Because they're dumb or silly or, usually, crazy. Here are our favorite lost voices from this week.

The girlfriend-assaulting R&B singer is nominated for a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award! We think he's a longshot at this point, but you never know... There are always surprises at the KCAs!

• It was clear that Michael Wolff was a bad husband and a bad boss. But now it looks like he's a lousy son, too. Wolff is being sued by his poor 85-year-old mother-in-law for trying to evict her from her one-bedroom apartment so he could sell it and collect a profit. [P6]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday and was charged with assault and making criminal threats. He faces four years in state prison if convicted. [NYP, Us]
• Marc Anthony touched the leg of a woman other than JLo, which means he was either "flirting with danger" or just being nice to a "longtime friend." [Star]
• Just another typical Friday: Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault for punching a fan last year. [Reuters]

Today's gossip is depressing, sorry: Robin Williams will go under the knife, Rihanna's friends are processing her Chris Brown decision and Michael Wolff is supposedly trying to kick out his mother in law.

First the New York Times and Wall Street Journal published the phone number for Obama hottie Jon Favreau. Now Extra fails to redact Chris Brown and Rihanna's phone numbers from a search warrant.

L.A. prosecutors have charged 19-year-old R&B singer with beating his girlfriend, fellow artist Rihanna. He could get almost five years in jail if convicted of the two felonies.

• Whoops! Jeremy Piven was seen eating a mercury-laden plate of tuna tartare and calamari salad last weekend, although his publicist is now denying the account. [MSNBC]
• "Insiders" say that Ivana Trump and Rossano Rubicondi did not, in fact, marry because they were hopelessly in love, but because it was all part of a deal to stir up some publicity and the two even had a contract drawn up. Our faith in romance has been crushed! [NYDN]
• How did the press know Chris Brown was in Miami with Rihanna last weekend? He told them so, silly. In related news, Rihanna is reportedly refusing to testify against him (even though prosecutors plan to move forward). And Brown is scheduled to be arraigned today, although it's unclear if he'll make a courthouse appearance. [P6, NYP, People]
• Jeff Toobin changed his Facebook status to "Married" yesterday. That'll clear everything up! [P6]

After reportedly beating his girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown hired crisis flacks and went into spin mode: The singer apologized, took anger-management classes and spread word Rihanna was culpable. But his reputation needed more help.

Hmm, we're no 'Mascara Marketing Guru' but we suspect that "Light up Your Eyes" is not the best tagline for a new ad starring Rihanna, who was recently beaten about the eye area.

The most unfortunate ad campaign of the week thus far? This one for Covergirl mascara, which appears in the new issue of People and features the words "Light up your eyes" next to a photo of Rihanna who, as you may have heard, was punched in the eye by boyfriend (husband?) Chris Brown recently. [Guanabee via Gawker]

• If you've noticed Jennifer Aniston's hair looking even more perfect and shiny lately, it's not your imagination. She reportedly spent $50,000 to have her hairstylist accompany her around the world for the Marley & Me's premieres. [DM, P6]
• Britney Spears kicked off her first tour in five years with a concert in New Orleans last night. The early reviews have not been positive, in case you're wondering. [People, DM, MTV]
• Did Chris Brown and Rihanna secretly tie the knot at Diddy's Miami manse? That's what Star is claiming, since Rihanna is "looking for the husband-and-two-kids deal before she turns 25." [Star]
• Breaking! Oprah has adopted a new puppy! [Us]
• Jennifer Lopez borrowed $50,000 worth of jewelry to attend an event last week, but never gave it back. [P6]