Doree is bored by The Wire's Baltimore Sun storyline. Choire is at a seafood restaurant in South Carolina. Emily is posting photos of her dog (and criticizing books about sad literary men). Balk is really sorry he hasn't updated in a while but it's been totally crazy at work!

You can still vote for your favorite celebrity hairmix!

On his Tumblr today, Alex Balk muses on Nick Denton's morality, suggests that his vision of hell involves doing his current job with Radar, and makes one (1) tit joke. Guest-blogging at kottke.org, Choire Sicha continues mining Times metro sections of days past for ironies and gimlet-eyed commentary on the sorry state of 2008 New York. Doree Shafrir has a photo of Emily Gould's dog. Emily Gould has re-launched her blog. Jesse Oxfeld IMd us earlier to remind us that he has "a very small and entirely static presence" on the Internet. Jessica Coen's website has itself been fairly static since the start of the year. [Previously]

Missing the taste of classic Gawker? The inimitable Choire Sicha is blogging this week at kottke.org, the personal site of Jason Kottke, a fellow blogging old-timer. Emily Gould has introduced the exclamation — Yay! — to Jewcy, the online magazine for "New Jews". Former advice columnist Tionna Smalls tells readers of SLC Outsider, based in Salt Lake City, that life is what you make of it. Alex Balk and Jessica Coen are now, tragically, in management. And Elizabeth Spiers is otherwise engaged giving quotes to the New York Times.

Because it's allegedly "Administrative Professionals' Day," the folks at MediaBistro have put together a package of "seven things the kid getting your coffee can teach you." While we don't necessarily consider ourselves assistants, we are all subservient to our Managing Editor Choire Sicha, so we read the piece with some interest as to how it reflected his management style. We've pulled out the seven tips and, via the miracle of preserved IM transcripts, taken the measure of the manager. Results follow.

Because our slutty sister left us briefly and utterly confused earlier today, we'd like to make a brief public service announcement. It is not New York Observer senior editor and Gawker alumnus Choire Sicha in the above photo. Rather, it's Christopher Hitchens.

Because apparently none of you people can read without also moving your lips, we hear your pleas and provide this assistance:

Feel the need to commemorate Radar's short life? So far, two options seem to be available:

Choire Sicha speculates on what the celebrities in New York are doing right now: "Isaac Mizrahi is scooping Harry's shit off Fifth Avenue, using only a green plastic bag. Adam Yauch is eating day-old half-off vegan corn muffins from the Rastafarian Bakery on Lorimer Street. Jon Stewart is in Fort Lee, New Jersey, in a rent-by-the-hour Pink Pussycat motel with a 19-year-old Cuban-Korean transgender prostitute, and he is having the time of his life. Sandy Weill is shuffling on his marble-floored bathroom to a hot Missy Elliott remix. David Byrne is staring down a Norwegian subway accordian player, stealing music with his mind. Megan Mullally is having a lemon-ginger tea in her sunny-yellow kitchen nook, talking to a girlfriend about their first abortions and how much she didn't like Madonna."
Celebrity [Choire Sicha]

The Morning News' Choire Sicha (also of East/West) relates his attempt to convert an art-hating dot-commer to a Chelsea gallery gawker. The plan backfires and Choire gets converted: "I stood in the middle of the empty Mary Boone gallery, the most pristine money mill in the world, surrounded by a sold-out show of half-a-million dollar paintings. The impeccable staff were clicking their pens and answering their phones and I wanted to scream. Had it always been so awful?"
The complicated art of Chelsea [TMN]

Choire from East/West on Billyburg: "These days Williamsburg is a playground for Craigs List-loving retards and they call part of Cobble Hill 'No-Go,' for North of the Gowanus canal. Honestly. Everyone has a baby there, and if they don't, they'll buy one real soon. Overall, I found the whole Brooklyn quality-of-life argument really quite specious. Isn't quality of life embodied by not having to take the subway?"
No sleep til Brooklyn [East/West]

A New York life, in which Choire Sicha is faced with a choice between his two cats, and his own survival through the bitter winter. Here's his ingenious guide to the making of a fur hat.
Pets or Fashion? The Easy Choice [East West]

Choire from East/West on why redevelopment of Hell's Kitchen is probably a no-go: "The High Line people are going to run into troubleI m surprised they ve gotten this far. Part of it is the presence of DEA and FBI (occupied) buildings around the highline. They don t want greater public access to their buildings."
Redeveloping the Hudson Railyards and Hell's Kitchen [Queso via Anil]

Choire from East/West models a limited edition Gawker tee.

East/West NY correspondent, Choire, has put up the "The Personal Ad of Truth," complete with a list of "11 reasons why no one should ever date me." It's funny. Go read it. Now. (I, too, have a strange affinity for bands that involve "five teenage girls from San Jose with the same first name singing about smoking pot in the backseat of a police car," but I always thought it was a selling point.)
The first honest gay personal ad [East/West]