Sightings are sent in by our sweaty-yet-attractive readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

In this edition: Phil Spector, Liza Minelli, Joan Rivers, Cynthia Nixon and partner, Tina Brown, Mary-Kate Olsen, Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Goldblum, Paul Giamatti, Rosario Dawson, Destiny's Child, Adrian Grenier, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Peet, Kerry Washington, Nick Lachey, Rob Schneider, Michael Pitt, David Cross, Rick and Kathy Hilton, Vivica Fox, Malcolm Gladwell, Ja Rule, Adam Yauch, Yoko Ono, David Blaine, Rachel Hunter and Janice Dickenson.

• Paris Hilton's new "film" Pledge This is magically scheduled to debut on the same day as her ex-best friend's cinematic venture, Kids in America. Ohmigod, Paris, why do you have to be such a bitch?! [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise apparently can't stand being single, which is why he jumped into an engagement with Katie Holmes. Shame on you for thinking it had something to do with Scientology or repressed homosexuality; turns out, Tom's just lonely! [Scoop]
• When she thinks of Angelina Jolie carrying Brad Pitt's child (which, to our knowledge, she isn't), Jennifer Aniston weeps as the PR Life Cycle© continues to shine in her direction. [R&M]
• Sienna Miller rebounds from her breakup with cheating ballerina Jude Law by scoring the Edie Sedgwick role in Factory Girl after Katie Holmes drops out. She has both Scientology and the tabloids to thank for that one. [Page Six]

• We're not sure who to pity more: Premiere magazine for paying Harvard's Lampoon writers to make fun of their magazine, or the writers for actually taking the cash. Those kids have a bright future of working at upcoming Jimmy Kimmel roasts. [Lampoon]
• Oh, David Beckham. Playing footsies with some other woman, in public, while your wife sits next to you? Bold and daring. And stupid. That too. [BWE]
• Oh, the thrill of canceling your Times subscription. [Amy's NY Notebook]
• How to be fat and fabulous? Oversized Prada sunglasses. That's why they're so damn popular — not because of some Olsen twin. [Eurotrash]
• On the grandiose, brass balls of Graydon Carter. [FishbowlNY]
• And finally, a special congrats to speakeasy La Esquina, which took only 44 days to hit media saturation. Things should be tolerable around there in approximately 2 months, at which point we suggest you stop by. [Eater]

• Start piling the sandbags and boarding up the liquor cabinet: Lindsay Lohan is renting in Sagaponack for the month of August! Finally, a little danger in the Hamptons. [Page Six]
• Cindy Adams delves into the delicious rumor that the marriage of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson is already over and a facade is being maintained simply for the sake of their crappy MTV show. She also claims we heard it from her first, which is true if you exclude the 75 other rumor-mongers and forwarded emails preceding Adams' "scoop." [Cindy Adams]
• Katie Couric would like you to know that she is not a pi ata, nor is she filled with candy. Fine, so we won't beat her — but this really doesn't stop any verbal assaults. [R&M]
• If Scientology decides to muzzle Tom Cruise, maybe we'll reevaluate our position on things. Cults aren't all bad, you know. [Scoop]
• Nicole Kidman's mother is a loveless wench, but Nicole still loves her. Or something, whatever. [Gatecrasher]

Continuing with last month's experiment in highlighting the best and/or most interesting sightings, we're proud to feed your drooling mouths the best of Gawker Stalker for the month of July — because the bizarre should never be forgotten.

• Vanity Fair pulls Jennifer Aniston from its October cover, allegedly because they fear too many details of her interview have been leaked to the press. Instead, they've replaced her with Paris fucking Hilton. Words cannot describe our horror at this crack-infused decision. [Page Six]
• Maybe the VF cover story will be about how Paris' 24-carat engagement ring is too heavy. The poor dear. [Scoop]
• Kate Moss wins her libel suit against the Sunday Mirror, which printed a false story claiming that a toxic amount of cocaine sent her to a Barcelona hospital in 2001. Of course the story's not true — she wasn't even dating Pete Doherty at the time. [R&M]
• The heat is centering on incumbent advocate Betsy Gotbaum, who refuses to release her public schedule for "security reasons." But Bloomberg's number and info are listed in the white pages? Nice try, Gotbaum, but 'fess up: We know you're at Bendel's. [Lowdown]

Sightings are sent in by readers who may or may not be compulsive liars; we're too hot to care. Send your exercises in honesty to tips@gawker.com.

• After being maligned by ballerina boy Jude Law, Sienna Miller seeks comfort in the arms of Orlando Bloom, as well as those of her ex-boyfriend, male model David Neville. Sadly, David is not related to Aaron, leaving this romantic tragedy without a preprogrammed soundtrack. [Page Six]
• While Times reporter Judith Miller learns about the history of hip-hop during her incarceration, her husband Jason Epstein enjoys a fine Mediterranean cruise. We're sure he was thinking of wifey the whole time, really! [Lowdown]
• Is Karl Rove hooking up with a Texas lobbyist? And could the thought of Turd Blossom sleeping with anyone be more nauseating? [R&M]
• Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria is reportedly engaged to the Spurs' Tony Parker. Does that make up for the Emmy snub? Eh, probs not. [Scoop (3rd item)]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Britney Spears' plaything, the inimitable K-Fed, skips the first birthday party of his son with Shar Jackson, little Kaleb. Considering he left Jackson while she was pregnant with the young boy, this really shouldn't be surprising. Besides, he was busy fetching Britney's Frappucinos, yo. [Page Six]
• Is Katie Holmes' recent face rash a result of Scientology detoxification procedures involving niacin? Are they stress-related cold sores? Or, as we suspect, are they simply the side effects of Dawson's herpex simplex? [Lowdown]
• Speculation ensues as to whether or not maligned actress Sienna Miller is still engaged to her cheating fiancé Jude Law. For the sake of a genetically perfect spawn (a dream dashed by the Pitt-Aniston breakup), we hope they can stupidly work things out. [Scoop]
• Recently convicted perjurer Lil' Kim lies outside of the courtroom, shaving a couple of years off her age. [Gatecrasher (3rd item)]
• Christian Slater hits the turntables with Maggie Gyllenhaal, manages not to grab her ass. [R&M (3rd item)]

• Courtney Love faints during a party at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel and awakens in Cedars-Sinai. She's adamant about her sobriety, and some are whispering about a possible poisoning. Dude, people, let Kurt Cobain go already. [R&M]
• Jane editor Jane Pratt escapes Tom Cruise unscathed: While filming her cameo in Vanilla Sky, some of Tom's friends (who we suspect were Thetanesque) approached Pratt about "getting to know Tom better." If only she had accepted, Joey Potter would still be with us. [Lowdown]
• Oh dear. After Ladies Home Journal beauty editor Nadine Haobsh gets her blog outed, Fashion Week Daily and New York mag's wee Faran Krentcil is supposedly behind Imaginary Socialite. [Page Six]
• While concert-goers in NYC, LA, and other major markets are paying up to $450 for prime seats for upcoming Rolling Stones shows, residents of "flyover country" are paying about $100 less. Nice to see that the coastal inflation isn't just limited to real estate. [Fox 411]

• Oil heir Brandon Davis isn't taking too well to being dumped by The O.C. star Mischa Barton. Apparently he's down in Tijuana, passed out in an alley from taking too many sleeping pills and tequila shots. [Lowdown (last item)]
• Tom Cruise has Scientology, Madonna has Kabbalah, and now director David Lynch has transcedental meditation. Finally, Lynch is normal, if only by default. [Page Six]
• Jude Law continues to beg for his fiancée Sienna Miller's forgiveness, but she's not wearing her ring. If we were the supportive types, we'd be shouting something along the lines of, "You go, girl!" But we're not, so we won't. [R&M]
• Al Pacino, Rose McGowan, vomit, rinse, repeat. [Page Six]

The Washington Post's Magazine Reader columnist, Peter Carlson, has, like us, recently begun to appreciate the sublimely hard work of celebrity reporting:

Star Jones is the first and only woman to get that close to Al Reynold's lap.

Cast your vote and weigh in on the issues that matter!

Sightings are sent in by readers and fact-checked by, oh, no one. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Jude Law is simply too hot for one woman. His lithe love must be shared with the world, which is exactly why he cheated on his fiancée Sienna Miller. At least he kept it close to home by doing the nanny. [SMH]
• Bonnie Fuller screws Shar Jackson the only way she knows how: Public hate-fucking, complete with photos. [Lowdown]
• Writer Robin Gregg sues Post sachem Col Allan for not paying up for Gregg's story. The catch? Gregg stole the piece from the National Enquirer. There're so many levels of wrong here, it feels right to us. [Gatecrasher]
• Happy anniversary to Courtney Love, who's now been clean and wobble-free for one year. [R&M]
• After Today co-host Matt Lauer is spotted flying solo in the Hamptons, rumors of his divorce from Annette Roque are refueled. In a perfect world, he'd hook up with Katie Couric and they'd make little NBC babies. [Page Six]
• Florida's former Secretary of State Katherine Harris gets into the healing powers of Kabbalah water. Too bad that stuff can't wash the shit clinging to her since 2000. [Scoop]