Some merry japester has painted curses on the Pope's Bavarian birthplace! It's already been painted over, though. The police won't reveal what it said (probably, "fuck the Pope," in German), or whether it was Jews or gays.

A retired Italian Bishop thinks the Catholic Church's pedophilia scandal is a "Zionist attack." Of course! The Jews dressed up as young boys and were abused by priests, and then dressed up as the Pope and ignored it! [Guardian]

A lawyer for the Vatican claimed, in a statement earlier today, that the two years it took the current pope to defrock a convicted pedophile was quick. But in 2006 he excommunicated an Archbishop who defied the celibacy doctrine 'automatically'.

A Vatican lawyer, responding to Associated Press reports that the pope had personally advocated slowing down the defrocking of a convicted child rapist, said the case was handled "expeditiously not by modern standards, but by the standards at the time."

In 1978, Rev. Stephen Kiesle pleaded no contest to charges of tying up and molesting two young boys in a rectory. The Diocese of Oakland asked Cardinal Ratzinger if Kiesle could be defrocked. Four years later, Ratzi recommend against it.

The Catholic Church's pedophilia scandal is edging closer to Pope Benedict. But it's not the first time he's been caught flat-footed in a mess at least partly of his own making. Here's our guide to the Pope's blunders.

Gays, the media, free love—about the only thing Catholics have not yet blamed for the Catholic Church's child abuse and the resulting cover up is the pressures of golf. Here's a roundup of the scapegoats so far.

You may have thought that news stories about the Pope and pedophilia were based on his shady doings when he found out that children were being abused. Get thee away devil! It was Satan's work. The pope remains blameless.

Today we looked at crazy Bill Donohue: Child Rape Apologist. Naturally the topic sparked a lot of discussion, including one post from a commenter wondering about the really big picture of it all.

Comedienne Sarah Silverman's no longer busy with Jimmy Kimmel. Or, as her last attempt at viral video fame would have it, schtupping Matt Damon. Silverman's going for viral video fame again, and she debuted it on Bill Maher's show Friday.

Remember Stephany Her RoyalHighness, that incoming Princeton freshman who wrote that batshit Nietzschian Facebook letter to the Class of 2012? No? Let's refresh: "We are the anti-Christs to save the world from the mercy of God, the self-pity that festers within the masses," was a key sentence. And: "Religion is the opiate of the masses, so drug them until they are nothing but slaves at your will." Hey, turns out Stephany — last name Xu — is a product of our nation's dying Catholic schools! Stephany — who plans to maybe major in child psychology to help abused and neglected children! — was salutatorian at John Paul II High School in Plano, Texas. (Motto: Seek To Serve.) That's her in uniform above! She even gave a slightly more Jesus-compliant version of her screed in her graduation speech:From a tipster:

We're frankly not surprised that Donatella Versace chose Father Georg Gaenswein, private secretary to Pope Benedict XVI, as the inspiration for her line of "clergyman look" menswear, which she showed in Milan this week: