· "2:45 PM THURSDAY - Anna Wintour zeta-jonesing on a McVeggie at the gaudy, fou-fou McDonald's on 42nd btw 8th & b'way wearing powder blue Old Navy summer dress and beaded Pearl River flip-flops. Pausing in front of Madame Tussaud's mistaken for mannequin by mid-western tourists. Poses for photos. Continues to AMC 25 where she catches matinee showing of Bringing Down The House. Refreshment stand clerk reassigned to soda machine after asking if she'd like butter on popcorn. Laughs (snickers?) inappropriately several times. Lose track of her as she sneaks into screening of What A Girl Wants."
· "Last nite- 04/24- at about 3am. Gore Vidal was in the bathroom at The Cock getting head from a 50-something Japanese guy Issey Miyaki. He flipped me off and then went back to degrading the man for his overly aggressive NYC real estate "trophy" purchases in the mid 80's. I know that it was Vidal because he used the word 'ignominious' whilst getting a blow job."

I have decided to create a new verb. The verb shall be "Zeta-Jones," meaning "to eat ravenously, as if downing last bowl of Sally Struthers-provided rice in the midst of a famine." Example sentences: "I really, really wanted to be Anna's assistant, but I had Zeta-Jonesed one too many carb-loaded dinners at Babbo to fit into my size zero skirt. Damn you, Mario." Yes? No?

Hellooooo, Austrailian people who are apparently visiting Gawker from The Age. Hope you like Nicky Hilton, Tina Brown, and all things New York. A clarification: we do not have pictures of Catherine Zeta Jones half-naked, pregnant, and smoking on the site. We never did. We linked to another site that had Catherine Zeta Jones half-naked, pregnant, and smoking, but the link doesn't work anymore. We don't know why the link doesn't work anymore, because it's not our site. So for the people emailing and asking, "Why did you take the images down?": the answer is, we never had them up.

Re: The Catherine Zeta Jones link mentioned in Page Six this morning: We know the link's dead. We weren't hosting it, so we don't know if it was yanked. I've been told that CZJ has sent us a letter, but Gawker's publisher is on vacation in South America right now, so I haven't seen anything. And that's pretty much all I know. Back to the regularly scheduled program...

· Catherine Zeta-Jones "out on the terrace, half-nude, very pregnant, and sucking down a cigarette" while sunbathing. Update: pictures taken down, so link removed.
· Spring cleaning: where to send your old stuff

Nerve's Grant Stoddard (the straight guy) visits The Hole (the East Village gay bar) to "see how I fare as the object of carnal desire in a gay club." Grant explains his curiosity: "In the past, I've been accused of being a tad fey. First, I have an outrageous British accent, which my colonial friends tend to associate with an innate lust for cock. Second, because I hail from Mother Europe, I tend to wear snugger-fitting pants. I can't help dancing like Molly Ringwald, and I get pedicures (but only in the summer months). After seeing Chicago, I raved about Catherine Zeta-Jones and came across all 'jazz hands' for about a week."
I did it for science [Nerve]

As mentioned earlier, we've decided to change our corporate motto from "if you can't say anything nice about people, start your own weblog" to "everyone is happy, pretty, and smart in their own special way." I know the similarity is confusing, as the differences are quite subtle. On that note"Random Nice Things About People" by Gawker Editor, Liz Smith:
· David Gest and Liza Minelli: you say "dysfunctional, fucked-up relationship"; I say "highly-rated made-for-TV movie."
· Miramax chief, Harvey Weinstein: big cuddly ass-kicking teddy bear.
· Vogue Editor, Anna Wintour: Oh, to have her smooth freshly-botoxed skin!
· Catherine Zeta-Jones: How does she stuff her face with cake like that, and still manage to stay so thin? Amazing!
· Designer Zac "Perfect" Posen: the trust fund only enhances his obvious talent.
· Nicky and Paris Hilton: (Cat)walking and talking at the same time! How many other beautiful hotel-fortune heiresses can do that? Not many!

If you didn't watch the Oscars, don't worry. (Seriously. Don't.) Choire from East/West documented the evening in excruciating detail. Some highlights:
· "Now Queen Latifah is singing with Catherine Zeta-Jones, some song from Chicago. Is Catherine preggers? Oh wow, she is. What are she and Michael Douglas thinking? Their children are going to have to wear helmets their entire lives."
· "Best actor: hot fox Adrian Brody! Who'd a thunk? From that Nazi piano movie. His nose is huge. I think I love him. I want to have a threeway with him and Halle. The more you stare at him the hotter he gets, like some sort of pornographic 3-D drawing. Wow, that sure is a nose. If he's against the war I really want to do him and his nose. I hope it's not fake."
· "Harrison Ford is so stoned up there on stage presenting. Dude is baked. OMG. POLANSKI WINS BEST DIRECTOR! Hollywood loves its non-extradited child rapists."
The Oscars: take it in the nose [East/West]

If you can get your hands on a copy of the January issue of Toronto Life, there's an extensive feature-length profile of Us Weekly editor and "evil genius" Bonnie Fuller. Some things you may not know: She refused to tell people her daughter had leukemia for fear that they would think she was using it for professional advancement. The working title of her memoir was From Geek to Oh My Goddess: How to Have the Big Career and the Big Love Life and the Big FamilyEven If You Have a Big Loser Complex Inside. She didn't tell her husband about her nose job.