Back in January, we related the saga of Kristy Althaus, a promising young college student and runner-up in the Trump-owned Miss Colorado Teen USA beauty pageant. She had apparently been stripped of her title for appearing in an online porn video. She now appears to be making porn a career.
The Evil League of Evil—first exposed to the public in director Joss Whedon's Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog—is calling for madmen and madwomen to join its ranks. The best applicants—"as determined by the League or its designated agents"— will be featured in an upcoming DVD. Application rules after the jump, if you think you're evil enough.
At a loss for what to do with that EMS training you did in college over summer break? If you're also single, unemployed and well-versed in STDs (such rare traits in this town!), then you may be perfect for this hot little number, who's in the market for a "lasting relationship centered around sex." NSA, natch. A "major new Manhattan magazine" (we can't imagine who fits such a description) is currently trolling for sex columnists. "Medical certification a plus," according to their Craigslist ad. Oh gross.
Total creative freedom emeges [sic] from daring, challenging, provoking and exploring anarchistic and chaotic ideas that shimmer through the veil of order. You can become a successful artist, master of your fate, in love with your work, dedicated to growth and achievement, and a daring pioneer and artist who triumphantly races outside the box. You can spend your life doing what you love — a rare and magnificent privilege. "If your life bores you, risk it!"
There's a servicey piece in the Journal today on how to keep your tyrant of a boss from finding out that you are actively looking for a better job than your current appalling position working in sweatshop conditions churning out material throughout the day for bored office workers. Apart from the obvious suggestions (don't show up in a suit on a day you're going for a "doctor's appointment," don't conduct your job search from work, try to avoid using subtle clues to let potential employers know that you really want to get the hell out of Gawker and you're ready to bring your particular brand of cock-based humor to their organization), the article also reminds you to make sure that you keep your resume "private" on job boards or your social networking site: Putting up something like "Alex Balk is ready to move on to a more challenging endeavor" might cause your employer to realize that you're hunting for another gig, minimum salary requirement 70K, plus benefits. Also, if you know anyone who's hiring writers who are willing to show up to work no matter how hungover, please drop me a line. It's, uh for a friend. [WSJ]
You catch that Arts & Leisure piece on Toby Keith and Brad Paisley in this weekend's Times? Turns out these country music stars are making a fortune while indulging in a fondness for bad puns. We're not exactly sure why this is news—country music has trafficked in lousy jokes since long before "She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)"—but no matter: If there's money to be made we want a piece of it. We spent the morning writing a country song of our own; if any music legends out there need a career-resuscitating hit, drop us a line! And there's plenty more where this came from! You're in for a treat!
Looking for work? Want to get in the ground floor of a can't-miss new idea? Your ticket may have already been stamped!
Let's say you're a major publisher who, through no fault of your own, has recently had to slash three hundred staffers from your payroll, with more to come? Sure, you've probably helped the balance sheet, but who's left to do the actual work? Ah, right, the interns. A week before the big housecleaning at Time, Inc., a series of ads went up on the Columbia School of Journalism's Career Services website. We've reprinted them after the jump. If you're young and industrious, this might be your big chance to get in on the ground floor. Just try not to slip; there's blood all over it.
Are you looking to change careers? Are you also a total douchebag? We may just have the job for you! Head over to 420 West 23rd Street this Friday, where you'll have the opportunity to prove your completely justified sense of self-worth to the bright lights of Mark Ecko (sorry, we don't know how to code that line over the "o") Enterprises! This could be your big chance. We've put the full ad in all its dickflappy glory after the jump, but our favorite part is the line at the end, which declares that "We are an Opportunistic Employer." No kidding!
When asked in 1963 why he wasn't joining the march on Birmingham against segregation, Heavyweight Champion of the World Sonny Liston is reputed to have replied, "Because I ain't got no dog-proof ass." It was a remark as glib and charmless as the man himself, but we couldn't help recalling it when we saw the following job listing for an "Executive Assistant opportunity for high-powered Publishing CEO/Media Personality/Radio Host/Producer!"
