Erika Lauren Wasilewski admits to faking cancer for attention and to contacting the authorities when her college roommates smoked pot and ate her food. Just the kind of person you'd want to watch living in a house full of strangers.

We've found at least two being mean to the actor, who wore a hat to last night's Golden Globes presumably to cover hair loss from treatment of his Hodgkin's lymphoma. Also, what did Bill Paxton have to say?

Today on Live! With Regis and Kelly, Bryant Gumbel, who is filling in for Regis Philbin, announced he had surgery two months ago to remove a cancerous tumor from his lung.

Cancer: All your fault.

Sen. Tom Harkin has vowed to look into the link between mobiles and cancer. 'Bout time!

We've all known this was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier to announce. Patrick Swayze, American actor and icon, has died and, at the tender age of 57, succumbed to pancreatic cancer.

"During 1946, exhaustive scientific tests have shown that, when properly used, DDT kills a host of destructive insect pests, and is a benefactor of all humanity." And cancer. Copyranter found a particularly good one today. Click through for full version.

The Bureau of Prisons says Bernie Madoff "is not terminally ill, and has not been diagnosed with cancer." And it claims that the NY Post story that said so based on anonymous prison snitch testimony is "full of inaccuracies." No!

Bernie Madoff's post-criminal career has been filled with indignities: house arrest, poverty for his wife, and unflattering penis size revelations. And now he may have cancer. Which would be worse than all of the above, yes.

It is time to ban candle-burning in restaurants, bars, hospitals, and other workplaces: they give you cancer. Experts have proven it with science!

To be sure: Sheila Jackson Lee represents inner-city Houston, Texas. Her district is 40% black and 36% Hispanic. (Jackson Lee's last Republican opponent, coincidentally, received 20% of the vote.) This woman questioning her has never and will never vote for Jackson Lee, and if her story of being an unemployed, divorcing cancer survivor without insurance is correct, she would be directly and immensely helped by any of the health care reform bills currently sitting in the House, whereas in our current American system, her lack of employment and her preexisting condition mean she is most likely fucked.

Web-journalism evangelist—and Huffington Post admirer—Jeff Jarvis has announced on his blog that he has prostate cancer. We wish him well. So does HuffPo, we imagine. But isn't that a weird photo to choose to illustrate that story?

Science is a "thinking man's game." And excessive tanning is a dumb man's game. But now science itself has proven that thinking too much will kill you—by tanning. Uhh, Jersey wins!

Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd has prostate cancer. He'll have surgery early next month and be back at work, his office says, in September. And he is still seeking reelection in 2010.

That is not one of our "jokey"-style headlines! Rather it is a quite accurate summation of the true state of affairs in the world. Tanning beds will give you cancer for sure, scientists say. Adios, Jersey.

Frank McCourt, the voluble Irish-American memoirist and retired New York City schoolteacher who wrote Angela's Ashes, is on his deathbed, according to the Belfast Telegraph.

Did you know that the GOP agenda killed football hero Jack Kemp? It's true, according to eventual Democrat Arlen Specter!

Tetrahydrocannabinol has been demonstrated to induce human glioma cell death through stimulation of autophagy! That means that weed totally cures cancer. Dude.

60 Minutes creator Don Hewitt is hospitalized with pancreatic cancer. Liz Smith reports. [Update/ Clarification]