Remember when Hillary Clinton told that crazy lie about flying into Bosnia with Sinbad and evading sniper fire and killer robots or something, and it turned out she just stepped off a plane and heard a poem from a little girl? The New York Post finally tracked down that little girl, who is now 20. And they took a hilarious photo of her looking serious and holding up the poem. Headline: "FROM BAD TO VERSE FOR HILL." What does that even mean? The little girl was just confused by Senator Clinton's crazy story of snipers and werewolves so the Post found some random other Bosnians who were outraged, angered, and disappointed. Representative quotes:

Last night, Slate launched their new "Hillary Deathwatch," a recurring feature that will measure Hillary Clinton's odds of winning the Democratic nomination for the Presidency. Right now they have her at 12%. Also there is a little cartoon of Hillary Clinton standing atop a sinking ship. Cute! Entertainment Weekly founder and blog evangelist Jeff Jarvis raves: "I never liked Slate. And now I like them less." The truth comes out! Jeff never liked you, Slate. Him and Salon used to make fun of you behind your back in 1998, after Internet High School let out. [Slate]

How on Earth is this Times piece about how it is too expensive for reporters to actually tag along with campaigns not headlined "On This Year's Bus, Fewer Boys (and Girls)" or something along those lines? "The Buzz on the Bus" barely qualifies as one of those Timesian barely qualifying puns. Anyway, it's a bad thing that no newspapers send reporters on the bus (or plane) anymore, because newspapers are dying, but it's also a good thing, because of blogs and the YouTube. Also there is a picture of Mark Halperin playing make-believe reporter and looking cold. [NYT]

Remember how CNN and AP were running around trying to figure out where Barack Obama was having his secret Islamic Vacation Of Change/Terror? And then a six year old found him in the Virgin Islands while looking for Easter eggs and sent a picture to Fox News? Well it turns out the whole experience wasn't just a cute story but also a lifeline for mostly false idea of "Citizen Journalism," in which furries leave their basement to cover the war in Iraq or city council meetings or whatever, for no pay. Because, see, the little girl's family submitted their Barack scoop to Fox through a website called uReport. Also, they approached Obama in a pretty straightforward manner, instead of melodramatically spying on him from a distance and probably giggling like a bunch of teenaged girls, like CNN did. Maybe this really does change everything. After the jump, video of the girl's mom recounting the family's heart-pounding investigative Obama interview.

CNN anchor Anderson Cooper and his team unearthed a video of Hillary Clinton casually strolling off a military transport plane after landing in Bosnia in 1996, the clearest proof yet against Clinton's prior claims her plane faced sniper fire during the landing. Said Cooper: "You'll notice the absence of any ducking — or any running — or any shooting for that matter... it was apparently safe enough for a little child to a read a poem to the senator on the tarmac." The silver-haired anchor advanced CBS News' earlier coverage not only with impressively-packaged background footage and quotes but also with that patented concerned-crinkly-face thing he does so well. Thank you for emoting on behalf of the entire country, Anderson, we appreciate it. Video after the jump.

So Hillary Clinton has been going around saying that she is qualified to be president of everyone in part because she was shot at in Bosnia once, in 1996. CBS News dug up their original story from that Bosnia trip, and it turns out the "sniper fire" was actually a little girl, with a flower. Some card spliced the report with the recent Clinton speech about how dangerous that trip was, what with all the "evasive maneuvers" and such. Busted! New York compares Hillary to memoir-faker Margaret Seltzer, but that's unfair: Hillary went to Bosnia with Sinbad so she's still got cred that no one can touch. Full clip attached below.

Can we just say, the day after, that we're still totally impressed with Barack Obama's speech yesterday? Jon Stewart, after a whole routine about it that fell 90% flat, suddenly summed it up quite nicely: "and so," he said, "on a Tuesday at 11 a.m., a Presidential candidate actually spoke to Americans about race as though we were adults." That is actually unprecedented—since the 1960s, at the least. It was so odd, in fact, that it melted the brains of the people whose job it is to trivialize everything about the campaign. Times columnist Maureen Dowd filed a column last night that only barely resembles anything she's written in a decade.

The chattering classes continue to review Barack Obama's 45-minute speech today on race. The TV pundits' instant response was overwhelmingly positive, but it was almost certain to be. The current campaign narrative sort of required that response: they beat up on him for a week, then presented him the opportunity to redeem himself. Because Barack Obama is a brilliant writer, he did a good part of their work for him. Of course, the speech was, in this narrative, supposed to make everyone forget that he has a "nutty pastor." What Obama was trying to do with it was a little different, but that doesn't matter. As you can see in the Slate headline roundup above, people are still talking about the nutty pastor. So, the conventional wisdom, at the moment: it was an awe-inspiring, wonderful, magical speech, but it won't "work."

Democratic Presidential candidate and man who Americans recently realized might be black Barack Obama had to deliver a speech today about his blackness, because the media discovered that his favorite preacher occasionally says controversial things. Obama, who is probably the best writer to run for president of the last century at least, gave a very good speech that was also far too long for cable news people to actually digest, but they are all trying, and it really impressed Candy Crowley and Joe Scarborough. Pat Buchanan, not so much.

This is just going to lead to so, so many regrettable "bitch" jokes, isn't it.

Peter Daou, the respected political blogger originally behind Salon's Daou Report, online guru for the Kerry/Edwards campaign, and now internet director for Hillary Clinton, has reached the phase of the campaign where you cannot for the life of you figure out how anyone could believe a word your opponent says, even when it is basically the same thing your candidate is saying. This is called living in "the bubble," after the popular television show The Prisoner. Daou wrote an open letter to liberal bloggers this weekend asking them to please point out that Barack Obama has been very mean to Hillary Clinton, even though Obama says he hasn't been. It's totally unfair because everyone thinks Hillary is mean to Barack all the time, what with her calling him inexperienced and saying McCain would make a better candidate, but the fact is, Daou asserts, Barack Obama's campaign has called Hillary "divisive" and "calculating" and "polarizing." Also they altered photos of her to make her look even more woman-y. (J/k!) Daou's full memo (which is quite reasonable while also liberally employing that uncomfortable tone of abject defensiveness that most of Ms. Clinton's surrogates can't help but share these days), after the jump.

Barack Obama's favorite preacher is this guy named Jeremiah Wright, Jr., a black man who heads a black church and preaches utterly crazy conspiracy theory nonsense like "[America's] got more black men in prison than there are in college" and "[America] bombed Cambodia, Iraq and Nicaragua, killing women and children while trying to get public opinion turned against Castro and Ghadhafi" and other demonstrably true statements. This makes him "divisive," a special media term for "being a negative Nelly." Or "being an aggrieved black man." Now Barack Obama has staked much of his campaign on his not being even remotely aggrieved, which is called being "inspiring," a term that means "not threatening." So naturally some people find it a bit odd that he is friends with this aggrieved preacher, and attends his services, and even named one of his books after a Wright sermon. It might become a big scandal! But on the plus side, every time voters are introduced to Obama's crazy preacher friend they will be reminded that Barack Obama might not secretly be a Muslim. After the jump, a clip of Jon Stewart explaining how Reverend Wright is "not helping."

The fact that Hillary Clinton's promised presidency did not arrive signed, sealed, and delivered by winged courier, and that her triumphant march back to her rightful home in the White House has been sidetracked, is apparently Eliot Spitzer's fault. Because Hillary "tripped up" in her response to a question about Spitzer's plan to give licenses to illegal immigrants. "Her advisers pinpoint that inartful two-minute answer as the moment when the race turned." Obviously! That one bad answer about the actions of a supporter back in October is clearly the source from which all of her subsequent problems have flowed. Also then Spitzer fucked some whores, for ten years. [WP]

Mississippi votes tonight. They will probably go for Obama. Basically all that matters, though, is Pennsylvania, on April 22, and to a lesser extent North Carolina, in early May. Clinton will probably win Pennsylvania. Obama will probably with North Carolina. If Hillary wins North Carolina too, though, Barack is in deep shit. If she doesn't, the convention (August 25) will be 1968-style madness. If Michigan and Florida get a do-over, Obama should probably rethink his "I won't be your vice president" stance. Florida Governor Charlie Crist—a possible McCain running mate—would like a do-over, which should tell you how McCain thinks his chances are against Hillary. The Democrats will probably end up with some compromise that will upset everyone. Also, the governor of New York slept with a prostitute.

Republican presidential nominee John McCain plays the press well. They love him because he makes them feel wanted and invites them over for barbecues! But then sometimes they get embarrassed and snap back with passive-aggressive attacks like almost saying he fucked a lobbyist. And then Senator McCain gets mad. He gets sooo mad! On his plane today, John McCain yelled at New York Times reporter Elisabeth Bumiller for a full minute-and-a-half for daring to ask him about a 2004 quote to the Times. The most telling exchange came at the end: "Can I ask you about your, uh... why you're so angry?" Aggressively leaning in, McCain replies, "pardon me?" "Nevermind," Bumiller mumbles. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the "John McCain can't keep his temper in check" meme. You'll be seeing a lot of it! Video of the incident after the jump.

Poor Hillary Clinton was on The Daily Show last night, live via satellite from Austin, Texas. The interview was long, and awkward, and generally bad television. As for the wisdom of appearing on a basic cable comedy program the night before one of the most important elections of her political career, Senator Clinton was self-deprecating: "it is pretty pathetic."

Portly vulgarian Kevin Smith, whose upcoming Zack and Miri Make a Porno has already been sneakily marketed to internet users through the magic of bandwagon-jumping viral videos featuring stars we love from the work of more talented auteurs of everlasting adolescence, is making sure we all still remember who he is but forget why we once tolerated him. In an interview with British ladmag FHM, Smith insisted that tiny cult messiah Tom Cruise would be President if it weren't for the "that couch-jumping shit" (conveniently leaving out that said calisthenics were but the prelude to a grander PR meltdown). Smith continues slobbering over America's formerly most bankable star-gone-mad:

Tonight, Vermont and Rhode Island decide the fate of the Democratic Party, and perhaps the nation. Texas and Ohio are maybe involved too, but we can't confirm. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? Hillary will see her shadow and we'll have seven more weeks of campaigning. Ohio is hers to lose. If it's close enough, there's no reason for her to drop out. All the calls to the contrary are from members of the press desperate to move on to the next story. Don't say we didn't warn you! [Slate]

Tomorrow, primary elections will be held in Ohio, Texas, Vermont, and Rhode Island. This is basically the last important contest in the race for the Democratic nomination until late April so journalists, exhausted by covering the same story for so long and eager to get to the next chapter they all have more or less written out already in their heads, will be praying for a quick, painless end to Hillary Clinton's campaign. And Bill said, a few weeks ago, that if Hillary loses tomorrow, she can't be President! Unfortunately tomorrow's contests will probably end up being as decisive as Super Tuesday (remember that? the night everyone won!). Then there will be more than a month of treading water and rehashing the same storylines over and over again. And the storylines likely to be advanced and debated every night on cable and blogs and in magazines are pretty likely to resemble these Hillary-friendly narratives: