Tomorrow, primary elections will be held in Ohio, Texas, Vermont, and Rhode Island. This is basically the last important contest in the race for the Democratic nomination until late April so journalists, exhausted by covering the same story for so long and eager to get to the next chapter they all have more or less written out already in their heads, will be praying for a quick, painless end to Hillary Clinton's campaign. And Bill said, a few weeks ago, that if Hillary loses tomorrow, she can't be President! Unfortunately tomorrow's contests will probably end up being as decisive as Super Tuesday (remember that? the night everyone won!). Then there will be more than a month of treading water and rehashing the same storylines over and over again. And the storylines likely to be advanced and debated every night on cable and blogs and in magazines are pretty likely to resemble these Hillary-friendly narratives:

Hillary's Comeback When Obama won Iowa and then famous former frontrunner Hillary SHOCKINGLY won New Hampshire it became a story about Hillary's COMEBACK. But that didn't really take, because it was the second contest of the campaign and Barry Obama had been the "frontrunner" for approximately 15 seconds. Now, though, he's been the frontrunner for a month, winning 11 primaries in a row, as we are all tired of hearing, leading most projected delegate counts, and enjoying national leads in most recent Gallup polls. So, if Hillary wins anything tomorrow, expect to hear that she's enjoying a comeback.

Obama As Gary Hart Over the last month or so of OBAMANIA, the press has treated Hillary like Ed Muskie, the Democratic senator who thought the 1972 nomination was his to walk away with until he was upset by the anti-war, youth-driven campaign of George McGovern. Also, Muskie cried. But Hillary's recent SCARY PHONE CALL ad shows that she'd rather look to 1984, when progressive hope Gary Hart, after early momentum, lost the nomination to established warhorse Walter Mondale. Of course, comparing your opponent to Hart or Muskie is all well and good in the primaries, but pretty stupid once everyone realizes you're comparing yourself to two of the biggest losers ever, Walter Mondale and George McGovern.

Coffee is for Closers Bill did his wife a favor when he said she couldn't be President if she doesn't win Ohio and Texas, because now when she wins one of them (Ohio still looks pretty good for her) she has the momentum, and the campaign pulled a nice jujitsu reversal move, suddenly making it the story that Obama had to win Ohio and Texas to prove that he's a closer. If he can't translate that HOPE and MOMENTUM into a stunning blanket victory, Hillary will have to stay in as insurance against the suddenly inevitable moment when everyone wises up and decides not to vote for the untested, non-phone-answering-at-3 a.m.-guy.

Basically we have another 2–3 months of this bullshit to look forward to before we can really gear up for the bullshit of the general election.