Dr. George Tiller wasn't the first abortion doctor to be murdered by a pro-life jihadist. In 1993, Dr. David Gunn was shot and killed in Florida by Michael Griffin. Who was Griffin's attorney? MSNBC morning host (and Starbucks lover) Joe Scarborough!

Our favorite part of the way the cable news nets are hyping Barack Obama and Dick Cheney's "dueling" national security speeches? The super-sized all-caps crawl that Fox News broke out during Obama's speech: "AHEAD: VICE-PRESIDENT CHENEY REMARKS ON TERROR & SECURITY." What no exclamation marks?

Rachel Maddow is gay, a fact that she's rendered uninteresting, unremarkable, and normal by casually dropping details about her private life on her show, as she did again last night.

Oh man, Keith Olbermann took to his nightly airwaves to try and shame CityFile, Wonkette and us for raising questions about his unexplained vacation last April. We're not sorry.

Speaking about his decision to cast porn star Sasha Grey in his call-girl movie The Girlfriend Experience, Steven Soderbergh said TV anchors look like porn stars these days. See if you can tell the difference!

In your awardy Thursday media column: the recessiontastic magazine awards are here, newspaper meta-layoffs, Lenny Dykstra's canned, more justice for Chauncey Bailey, and advertising brainstorming:

CNN's Susan Roesgen went nuts on the air Wednesday at a Chicago tea party, blaming everything (accurately) on Fox News. But maybe she was angry because Fox turned her down for a job—twice!

CNN has a new promo featuring an attractive young woman at a bar making eyes at a guy. The guy makes eyes right back, but it turns out she's not looking at the guy, but at the television behind his head—which is tuned to CNN's Anderson Cooper!

Glenn Beck turned up this morning to bathe in the warm sycophancy of Fox & Friends, and to tell the heroic tale of how he saved a fainting man's life on television yesterday.

In 2008, Todd was great as a freewheeling political director and straight-man to Chris Matthews on MSNBC, but he's choking as NBC's White House correspondent. Now, he may get a chance for redemption.

Bill O'Reilly's in the midst of his big media tour to remind the world he's the number one hollering cable show guy in the history of television! But is he?

Keith Olbermann has offered Bill O'Reilly's latest stalking victim sanctuary in his studio for tonight's show.

Denial appears to be the official position on Jim Cramer following his pantsing by Jon Stewart. CNBCers don't believe there's a problem, while MSNBC is doing their best to pretendCramer doesn't exist.

CNBC is on fire! Just like the economy. After being lambasted for being catastrophically wrong about everything its anchors and reporters are paid to understand, the business network is actually enjoying its notoriety.

The Stimulus Package: Obama signs it tomorrow and oh my freaking god, the cable networks will totally talk about it. CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC each have their own promo; they grow increasingly insane:

MSNBC's Peter Alexander concludes an interview today with the president of the NAACP by noting, "The president honors this country's colored people." Nilla! Shortly afterwards Alexander apologized, which was even more amusing.

Isn't it a hoot—an ironic hoot—that Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs has a combatative relationship with the press, even though as we all know the press are all liberals who worship Obama? This is what Gibbs said about the cable news, today:

Watching the cable news, one might get the impression that Republicans aren't a completely powerless minority party. They're still opinionating like it's 2004 out there!

On all the liberal conspiracy networks — CNN, MSNBC, etc. — the inauguration is the most momentous event ever. History! For those who hate hope, Fox News is on the air. Compare after the jump.

Bernie Madoff just left for court for a 2:30 bail hearing. Media mayhem ensued! Police on the ground! Helicopters in the sky! A financial charlatan's drive to court is cable news' OJ car chase, 2009.