Fox News posted an astonishing 50% jump in profit last quarter amid a disastrous advertising recession, and it's basically the only thing making money in Rupert Murdoch's empire. Why? Because the GOP has cratered.

Joe Scarborough was on Jimmy Fallon's show last Wednesday night, and he wanted to work through his mid-life crisis by playing some rock'n'roll guitar. So he played an Elvis Costello song about desperately wanting to get laid, with the Roots.

After Glenn Beck called the president a racist Nazi, some of his advertisers decided that bottomless white rage is off-brand: Lawyers.com, Procter & Gamble and Progressive Insurance ads no longer appear during his show.

On Fox's Romper Room and Friends this morning, Glenn Beck said we should all probably save the nation with the power of prayer.

MSNBC keeps the Washington Post's Jonathan Capehart locked in a room with a camera. Sometimes they throw him a bagel, which he scarfs down because he's hungry from never not being on television, and then they laugh at him.

Tonight Keith Olbermann returned from vacation and used his "Worst Persons" segment to emphatically rebuff the Times report stating that he and Bill O'Reilly's feud has been muzzled by corporate chieftains. He also addressed the Richard Wolffe situation online.

How many ways can you analyze 30 seconds of silent footage? An infinite number of ways! Over the last 24 hours, cable pundits, our modern Vienna Circle, have explored all the possible meanings of a bunch of guys drinking beers.

This is what happens when a sad old CNN anchor embraces wingnuttery in order to try to siphon off viewers from Fox News: The bottom falls out of his Nielsen ratings, very rapidly.

As Barack Obama, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police officer James Crowley get ready to share a beer, the nation finally has an opportunity to discuss racial prejudice and its lasting impact on American society. Haha, just kidding.

With Glenn Beck running loose spouting all sorts of crazy-talk, you just knew at some point he'd say something to cause enough of an uproar that the Fox News brass would have to address it. Beck finally did that today.

In your woozy Tuesday media column: MSNBC pulls in the crazies for airtime, Gallant former journo beats Goofus current journo, NYT family members catch the swine flu, and the LA Times is all fucked up.

Fox anchor and car chase aficionado Shepard Smith is probably the best anchor on TV right now, both for pure entertainment value and for his genuinely non-partisan commitment to telling the truth as he sees it. Also he hates Boston.

Last week Glenn Beck went utterly berserk on his radio show when a caller challenged his opposition to the Obama healthcare reform plan. Last night Beck appeared on Bill O'Reilly's show to explain his ridiculous on-air behavior. Let's discuss it.

Bill O'Reilly is so torn up over the death of Walter Cronkite. According to Bill, Cronkite was a liberal, but he didn't let his political views influence his reporting, unlike everyone around today, everyone except Fox News of course.

CNBC, the nation's preeminent financial news network, aired an investigative special last night! Did they venture deep into the Heart of Darkness to investigate the welfare queens at Goldman Sachs? Well, no, they investigated the porn industry, naturally.

Ah Bill O'Reilly. God bless him. Tonight he opened his show stating that Michael Jackson's family should be left alone and allowed to grieve. Naturally, he then turned right around and ripped Jackson to shreds for everything imaginable.

Ha! Our poor video team slaved away all day pulling clips from the Michael Jackson memorial service and put a funny exclamation point on it all with a couple of compilation videos featuring television commentators' desperate search for words.

Have you heard about the appearance of Michael Jackson's ghost during Larry King's broadcast from Neverland last Thursday? Plenty of America's most staggering dipshits saw it, so CNN devoted an entire segment on King's show tonight to solving the mystery.

Today on MSNBC David Shuster and Tamron Hall did a story on the "longest cucumber in the world," which was a bad idea right from the start.

Certainly you're sitting at home tonight thinking, "I wonder where Michael Jackson's corpse is right now?" Well, luckily for you, CNN is on it baby!