Bruce Willis' current gal pal, leggy Victoria's Secret model Emma Heming, is playing the question off as if it's the first time it has happened. However, Bruce's face tells a completely story. Having had to say "she isn't my daughter" and "not cool, bro" to valets more times than he would care to count, he wonders if it may just be time to stop dating girls born in the '80s.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you stumbled upon Ian Ziering getting a pedicure in a Hollywood strip mall.
The Kutcher-Moores grace the pages of the April issue of Harper's Bazaar, in which the First Family of Cougardom weigh in on a number of topics, including how they manage to keep their Kabbalic faith after other celebrities have moved on to even trendier catalogue-order religions. But it's the subject of Moore's ex-husband and Rumer-fatherer Bruce Willis, who maintains an improbably cozy relationship with his Gen Y usurper, that repeatedly pops up:
· Joining Ron Howard's Angels & Demons in writers-strike-induced production limbo is Olvier Stone's Pinkville, a move that temporarily puts Bruce Willis and Woody Harrelson out of work. [Variety]
· ...but luckily for Willis, a paycheck for director Jonathan Mostow sci-fi thriller The Surrogates was just waiting to be cashed. [Variety]
· The Academy releases the shortlist of its 15 documentary feature Oscar contenders, a group that includes Michael Moore's Sicko, but which tragically overlooks the hilarious King of Kong, a look at the dark, mulleted, hot-sauce-hawking underbelly of competitive Donkey Kong playing. [THR]
So overcrowded is the summer movie marketplace that the only way to distinguish one's upcoming blockbuster product from the blowing-shit-up competition is to hit the talk show circuit and recreate some of the fun that awaits fickle moviegoers upon their next trip to the multiplex.
· Displaying the kind of out-of-the-box vision that recently won him NBC's top programming job at the tender age of 19 (so young, we know!), Ben Silverman has acquired the rights to the Colombian televovela Sin tetas no hay paraiso (Without Breasts There is No Paradise), the story of a woman who seeks a breast enlargement as a solution to her poverty and gets entangled in prostitution. "I scour the world for the best ideas and for the game-changing hit shows and Sin Tetas is one of those shows," crowed Silverman about his get. "Dude, it's like my huge ABC success Ugly Betty, but with hookers and big tits. I've got another winner here, I just know it." [Variety]
· And with leadership like that, why wouldn't NBC Universal be "upbeat" about their network's prospects? [THR]
· The Middle East is hottest war-torn setting in Hollywood right now, with "at least six" films about the region on the way between June and early 2008. [Variety]
· Bruce Willis and daughter Rumer will spend some quality time together building up their family business on the set of The Sophomore, a "teenage take on Chinatown." Unfortunately, Mischa Barton, once famously out-acted by some scene-hogging patio furniture in a pivotal moment on The OC, is also attached to the intriguing project. [THR]
· Speaking of the Willis family business, Rumer step-dad Ashton Kutcher is producing another movie. Details available, but uninteresting. [Variety]
Upon reading that movie-star-of-the-internet-people Bruce Willis had virtually kneecapped Armageddon director Michael Bay ("Bay...Would have ruined DH4. Few people will work with him now, and I know I will never work with him again.") while communing with his fans on the AICN message boards, we had a feeling it wouldn't be long before Bay used his own online forum to retaliate against his mouthy ex-collaborator. With an emotional mixture of hurt, disbelief, and defiance far more complex than any moment in one of his movies, a wounded Bay responds:
Perhaps realizing that the impromptu, beer-soaked promotional appearance he made on behalf of Live Free or DieHard at halftime of a recent Nets playoff game might not reach as many hardcore film nerds as he'd like, onetime wisecracking animated critter and resurgent action star Bruce Willis has taken to the Talkback boards at Ain't It Cool to get the word out about his comeback vehicle, which he swears will contain all the brain-splattering, hard-R violence his fans crave despite a PG-13 rating that limits him to a mere two "fucks." Here, Willis dramatically outs himself as suspiciously defensive poster "Walter B":
Never once in the above clip (thanks to Deadspin for bringing this joy into our lives on a Monday afternoon) do we see any booze cross suspiciously enthusiastic action star and proud New Jerseyian Bruce Willis' lips during this interview at a break in yesterday's Nets-Raptors game, so it would unfair to attribute his slurry, semicoherent endorsements of both his companion's promising career and his new movie to alcohol intoxication; clearly, his potshot at Cybill Shepherd, his seemingly insane claim that this summer's Die Hard sequel is better than the original, and his "Yippee-kai-yay, motherfucker!" sign-off were fueled by the excitement of playoff basketball, and not by enough $14 jumbo Bud Lites to kill an actor of half his tolerance.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Who knows? They may give you the upper hand in your ugly, ongoing custody battle. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the morning you spotted John Mayer waiting on the steak to cook at Mastro's.
The less we say to set up Elephant Larry's video birthday card to Bruce Willis (what, you forgot to send him something?) the better, but after watching it, we're left with the uncomfortable feeling that his agents over at CAA may be a little unhealthily obsessed with numerology. Maybe they like to mix up the usual, boring Satanist human sacrifice approach to representation with a little harmless number-play for certain high-profile clients, just to keep things fresh.
We have no doubt the response has been tremendous to a recent casting notice for "Halle Berry & Bruce Willis look-a-likes" to participate in a "street marketing/publicity stunt campaign" for their upcoming, memorably titled thriller Perfect Stranger, with every non-equity, balding white guy and Catwoman-type in Hollywood lining up for a piece of the premiere-night swag-distributing action. The last thing the event organizers need this late into the game, therefore, is a lead on a dead ringer delighting Japanese TV audiences with his eerily accurate approximation of John McClane. Still, producers may want to consider the potential of the increased overseas returns were Willis to pose next to his Japanese twin at photo ops—a sidekick no more humiliating than that Over the Hedge racoon.
Defamer is committed to connecting those individuals whose budding acting careers have been hampered by their striking resemblance to certain Hollywood superstars with exciting opportunities to finally put their unoriginal good looks to productive use. Just moments ago, this notice from a company handling a stunt marketing campaign for inevitable cyberstalking blockbuster Perfect Stranger dropped into our inbox, which we're happy to pass along to you, the reader who is often interrupted in the middle of a quiet night out by intrusive Catwoman or Striking Distance fans who mistake you for your more celebrated dopplegangers:
Today's LAT momentarily revives us from our Oscar-induced coma with a story about the imminent release of informatively titled Hollywood Super Madam tell-all Secrets of a Hollywood Super Madam (in stores Thursday! Start lining up at The Grove's Barnes and Noble now!), in which onetime industry she-pimp Jody "Babydol" Gibson continues the proud, Flessian literary tradition of revealing the sexual predilections of her alleged clientele, apparently empowered by the once-redacted details of her 2000 prostitution-ring trial being released into the public domain. Among the celebrities already registering official denials: Erstwhile pasta sauce magnate Tommy Lasorda and accused Die Hard satyr Bruce Willis:
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in obsessively. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and impress everyone by breaking Fabio down to his fashion-nightmare fundamentals.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in at least as often as you floss. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the special post-appendectomy, pre-rehab moments Lindsay Lohan shared with Joe Francis.
