Back in February, Brittany Murphy gushed to People about her "devastatingly handsome" fiance, a best boy grip named Joe Macaluso she met on the set of Little Black Book ("best boy"—how cute it that?) with whom she "made it to date 17 without kissing." Well, in keeping with the delayed gratification theme of their whirlwind romance, People is now reporting the wedding has been called off, guaranteeing the two will likely make it all the way to their death beds without ever knowing the pleasures of marital coitus:

The second installment of Defamer PartyWatch brings us to ground zero of many an inter-starlet, deck-chair-flinging, tabloid-baiting incident: poolside at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, for a reception celebrating the premiere of music video director Marc Webb's short film, L.A. Suite. Staff photoslave Amy Rodrigue was again on hand to capture the scene, using the potent combination of her keen eye for composition and keen nose for free alcohol fumes to find people drunk enough not to notice they're being photographed for Defamer. (Should you care to have your party or event's guests photographed and preserved for all time on the blogowebosphere, you know where to send the invites: tips@defamer.com.) But enough introduction—images of those significantly more fabulous and less housebound than your editors follow after the jump:

No amount of tumbling, multicolor confetti seemed adequate to fully relay Disney's excitement over netting Brittany Murphy to voice previously-thought-to-be-mute Tinker Bell in her upcoming starring feature. Having already spent years honing her voiceover talents playing another animated blond—King of the Hill's aspiring cosmetologist Luanne Platter—Murphy will surely bring some of Luanne's spunky, slutty spirit to her new role as Neverland's mischievous Will o' the Wisp, while helping establish direct-to-video voiceover as a viable path back to Hollywood It-Girl status.

Not only is onetime It-Girl Brittany Murphy willing to flout the industry's standard rules about fraternizing with the underclass by getting engaged to a PA from one of her movies, she compounds the egregious social code violation by refusing to put out in a timely fashion:

· Brittany Murphy finds a less controversial way to get her name into the rags: By getting engaged.
· Citing the always-reliable foreign-language translations of an actor's fansite, The Scoop circuitously notes that Matt Damon and the new wifey might be having a girl.
· Emma Thompson proves that she's just a down-to-earth gal by humbly storing those terribly embarrassing Oscars in her bathroom.
· The Gilded Moose turns up for Elvira's garage sale, discovers overpriced, tackily airbrushed denim.

• Jessica Simpson's assistant CaCee may have been pushing rumors about Simpson cheating on husband Nick Lachey, and now Nicole Kidman's sister Antonia may have slipped to the press about Kidman's rumored engagement to singer Keith Urban. You just can't trust a bitch these days. [Scoop (2nd item)]
• Why we're glad we don't work at Page Six: Paris Hilton personally calls the column to clarify that her ex-fiancé Paris Latsis merely enjoyed a single tequila shot with the heiress and her current beau, Stavros Niarchos. The thought of hearing that abnormally deep voice on the phone gives us chills. [Page Six]
• Gotham magazine cover girl Natasha Richardson hates publisher Jason Binn's penchant for forced photo-ops at his parties. You and the rest of the world, darling. [Lowdown]
• The strap on model Naomi Campbell's dress breaks but is quickly repaired, much to the disappointment of those hoping for a nip slip — including Andre Leon Talley, according to Rush & Molloy. Somehow, we don't think the Vogue queen was too interested. [R&M (3rd item)]
• To clarify rumors from yore, jittery actress Brittany Murphy dumped her manager, not the other way around, nor does she do smack and fuck the help. [Page Six]

· US Weekly is the first to report that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, having hung in there long enough to live up to the 'for richer' part of their vows, decide to drop the charade and cash in their chips before finding out what comes next. Grocery check-outs everywhere are suddenly good for a laugh.
· Desperate Housewives' Eva Longoria finds seasonal references mixed with loud swearing serves as a handy substitute to paying for things. A greeting card craze ensues.
· A studio lot spy snaps a picture of George Clooney's adorable microcar; if he tried to squeeze his fat Syrianna ass into this thing, we think we may have an inkling as to how he ruptured his spinal fluid sac.
· New Line throws obnoxious sums of cash at Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan and Brett Ratner, hoping to once again bottle the Rush Hour magic.
· Brittany Murphy's lawyer sends us an angry letter letting us know how hard y'all suck at the Blind Item Guessing Game. Really, people, for shame!

When we wrote about Brittany Murphy's surprise separation from ICM and Brillstein-Grey last week, we noted that her "people" had been reduced to a publicist. As it turns out, Murphy's legal team, headed by Hollywood's Other Scary Lawyer, Martin Singer, was loyal to the end. We've received a very long, none-too-pleased letter (funny how that works when you bill by the hour) denying that Murphy is "Jordache Junky," the star of a Ted Casablanca blind item and our readers' most-guessed actress in our Blind Item Guessing Game, and that Murphy was dumped by ICM and Brillstein-Grey.

Faced with her client's abrupt, simultaneous dumping by ICM and Brillstein-Grey, Brittany Murphy's publicist can offer only a weak, last-resort rebuttal, in the classic, messy-break-up, "No way! She totally dumped them first!" mold. From Page Six:

• As it turns out, the Lindsay Lohan story we posted — in which a man named Jason Lewis duped Lohan into thinking he was the fucktastic actor of the same name, all via text messages — is totally true. We were right? Ugh, it always feels so funny when that happens. [Lowdown]
• Actress Brittany Murphy gets dropped by her manager at Brillstein-Grey and her agent at ICM, perhaps because she enjoys getting smack-happy and humping the help. [Radar]
• A fundraiser at the Museum of Natural History becomes an anti-Bush rally. In New York City? On the Upper West Side? Preposterous! [R&M]
• 90's songstress Lisa Loeb is dating former Post reporter Allen Salkin. This should really detract from her E! reality project that follows her through the single life. [Page Six]
• Christina Aguilera will wed fiancé Jordan Bratman in Napa Valley on Saturday. Rest assured, the entire affair will cost more than you'll ever be worth. [IMDb]

Late yesterday, when we were mercifully free of our online shackles, news that Brittany Murphy had been dumped by both agency ICM and management company Brillstein-Grey hit our inbox. (How many more hours of waterboarding will it take for us to finally learn to never, ever leave the computer?) Radar Online has the story, hearing from a source that she was dumped for the vague-but-foreboding "personal reasons":

· Lizzie Grubman's ex-boyfriend, Andrew Sasson, wants forgiveness after sending her to jail. [Page Six]
· Brittany Murphy's ex-publicist says "she's such a tramp and impossible to deal with." [Page Six]
· Blind item: closeted Senators and Hall of Fame baseball players. [Page Six]
· Manhattan restauranteur, Nello Balan, is opening up Nello's Uptown on 96th and Madison. [Page Six]
· Britney's bad boy dad is having an affair with a coke-head club hostess. [Page Six]
· Designer Nicole Miller says SoHo is out. [Cindy Adams]
· Dubya and Condi in '04? [Liz Smith]
· City council meetings are marked by cheesy double entendre, James Gandolfini gets a divorce, and Rush Limbaugh apologizes to Hillary Clinton. [NY Daily News]