Eight-six virgins descend onto Chris Brown, who we are now supposed to believe is a "gent"; Barbara Walters makes sweet love to Frank Langella; Catherine Zeta-Jones shows her tits. Monday gossip is so juicy, it will run down your chin.

Her story was a Hollywood dream: the prodigiously talented teenager who worked her way from regional theater to big-screen blockbusters alongside Oscar nominees. But then her star power fizzled, her personal life disintegrated, and she met a grisly end.

Brittany Murphy's last known interview—on December 1 in Los Angeles at the premiere of her flim, Across The Hall—is simultaneously sad and sweet. Sad, because she appears out of it. Sweet, because she was still such a doll.

Brittany Murphy's life was cut short at 32 when she passed away this morning. The latest piece of news is that her husband, Simon Monjack, reportedly told Cedars-Sinai staffers that he didn't want there to be an autopsy. Who?

2009 has been a year of surprising, untimely celebrity deaths. Brittany Murphy's sudden death this morning is no different. Here, we take a look back at her very diverse roles throughout the troubled actress's extensive career.

TMZ is reporting that Brittany Murphy, who had long been said to struggle with drugs, died last night after going into cardiac arrest. Paramedics weren't able to revive her. The actress, who launched her career with Clueless, was 32.

Comedian Tracy Morgan turns 41 today. Mackenzie Phillips is turing 50. Actress Brittany Murphy is 32. Grey's Anatomy's Ellen Pompeo is turning 40. Mets general manager Omar Minaya is 51. Nobel Prize-winning economist Robert Engle is turning 67. CUNY chancellor Matthew Goldstein is 68. Socialite Lauren Dupont is 39. Actress Heather Matarazzo turns 27. The rapper Eve is 31. TV anchor Aaron Brown is turning 61. Film producer Roland Emmerich turns 54. Publishing exec Stephen Rubin is 68. And Sinbad turns 53 today.

It's kind of a sad news day for some. Mostly for actors who never quite took off the way some had hoped. But it's also good news for fans of Amy Poehler and Joy Behar. They're doing just fine.

David O. Russell continues to work, Ralph Fiennes plays evil so well, Virginia Madsen: champion of ski jumpers! Eastbound & Down will pitch again, and crazy Brittany Murphy joins a crazy movie.

Brittany Murphy clearly threw Craig Ferguson off last night on the Late Late Show: Why was an actress raised in New Jersey speaking in an Irish accent? And why was she acting so loopy?

Palm Pilots were the epitome of cutting-edge cool — in 1998. By 2004, when the movie came out, the PDA market had entered terminal decline, as people switched to keeping their contacts on increasingly advanced cell phones. And the best part?

30 Rock's Tracy Morgan is 40 today. Mets GM Omar Minaya is 50. Nobel Prize-winning economist (and NYU professor) Robert Engle turns 66. Society staple Lauren duPont is 38. Doubleday publisher Stephen Rubin is 67, as is CUNY chancellor Matthew Goldstein. Actress Heather Matarazzo is celebrating her 26th. Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo is 39. The rapper Eve is 30. Former CNN anchor Aaron Brown is 60. Film producer Roland Emmerich turns 53. Brittany Murphy is 31. And Sinbad turns 52 today.

As THR reported recently, MGM is planning a musical remake of the cult classic Valley Girl, which became the epitome of everything the magical land of acrylic nails and gum chewing addictions stood for in the early `80s. However, the remake is ruffling the feathers of many an industry insider, mainly because the brains behind this project are less interested in revisiting the infamous twang and mall headquarters associated with girls from the Valley, a group the film arguably captured better than any successor. Instead, the epic soundtrack will serve as the reincarnation's primary subject. But whether or not the idea tanks, we're just happy to have the chance to round up our five favorite on-screen Valley Girls to ever gag us with a spoon:

Two years after Disney executives nudged Brittany Murphy before a roomful of gathered press, then detonated a confetti-filled landmine which left one Reuters photographer legless from the knees down, comes news that the once white-hot Hollywood Was-Girl has been replaced by order of Disney animation head John Lasseter as the voice of Tinker Bell in that sprite's direct-to-video adventures. Explains hollywood-newsroom.com:

· In a move that "might" be related to the strike, Jon Stewart pulls out of a Paley Center fundraiser honoring unkillable Viacom overlord Sumner Redstone; presumably, the possibility of having to cross WGA protesters to host an event celebrating a man who's previously pledged to "live long enough to watch every last one of those greedy, scribbling serfs die on the picket line" suddenly made the gig seem less savory. [THR]
· On Super Tuesday, network TV audiences overwhelming chose Fox's American Idol and House to ABC's coverage of the primaries, which, despite occasional clips of Mitt Romney's hilariously inept audition for the Republican nomination, never stood a chance against the misadventures of dozens of equally delusional Idol hopefuls. [Variety]

[Crazy Brittany Murphy out and about at Fashion Week in New York yesterday; image via INF] (Context)

Another tale from Fashion Week has emaciated, batshit insane actress Brittany Murphy telling a gossip magazine reporter: "Your magazine HURT. MY. LIFE." Not since she uttered the immortal line "Just as long so his you-know-what isn't crooked. I really hate that," in the epic masterpiece Clueless, has Ms. Murphy been so eloquent about the state of the world. [NYMag]

While acquiring a stalker is generally a luxury afforded to Hollywood's A-list, occasionally a celebrity whose once-hot career has cooled manages to collect an unwanted admirer. Rarer still is when the overzealous fan comes from within the entertainment industry itself, where people are often too jaded by constant exposure to talent and too busy with their jobs to be bothered with the time-consuming task of collecting the personal relics (locks of hair, used cotton balls, third-grade report cards and what-have-you) necessary to build an acceptable shrine to the object of their obsession. However, today's NY Daily News Gatecrasher column claims that Little Black Book star Brittany Murphy has not only garnered a stalker of her own, but that he's the Hollywood insider kind:

• Finally, we'll find out if "busty" Laura Albert's tits are as fake as her literary alter ego. [Page Six]
  

• A spokesman says that style guru Isabella Blow's death was caused by cancer, but her 'friends' suspect otherwise, based on previous suicide attempts. [Gatecrasher]