Jeremy Piven can't make any more curtain calls because he was poisoned with (ahem) "mercury," people are assualting Bernie Madoff's broker now and tender meat reuintes J.Lo and Mark Anthony.
• Rudy Giuliani is reportedly in negotiations to take over Bill O'Reilly's syndicated radio show when he steps down early next year. Whether Rudy could handle sitting still for three hours a day and what effect this would have on his rumored plans to run for office, remain unclear. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston is "bizarrely obsessed" with Angelina Jolie, says OK! The proof: She wore a dress that was "almost an exact copy" of something Angie once wore, and she can't stop talking about the couple to friends. [OK!]
• Madonna now says the financial details her publicist Liz Rosenberg released last week concerning her divorce settlement with Guy Ritchie were "misleading and inaccurate." [People, Mirror]
• Anderson Cooper was supposedly spotted shopping for sweaters with a "young Frenchman" at Barneys Co-Op. Wait, what happened to Julio? [P6]
Though the idea of Britney Spears and Ellen DeGeneres caroling together may sound cute in concept, it's hard to believe Spears would perform even "Frosty the Snowman" sans lip-synching or Autotune.
A day of new beginnings: Gwyneth Paltrow SOMEHOW restored her breasts to teenage perkiness, Paula Abdul is maybe leaving American Idol and Tommy Hilfiger uncanceled his wedding.
♦ Either Mariah Carey is pregnant or she's determined to do whatever it takes to stay in the spotlight. The diva was spotted looking "ebullient" on her way out of an OB/GYN's office in LA, where she was greeted by a cheering entourage and seen clutching "what looked like a sonogram." [P6, Mirror]
♦ Kate Moss skipped champagne and wore a loose dress to a Vogue event in China, which means she must be pregnant, too. [The Sun]
♦ In an upcoming issue of O, Oprah says she's "fallen off the wagon" and now weighs 200 lbs. But she blames it on her "out-of-balance thyroid," which gave her "a fear of working out." [AP]
♦ Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich watching soccer at Nevada Smith's in the East Village with girlfriend Dasha Zhukova? We can hardly believe it. [P6]
♦ Steve Schwarzman insisting on remaining centerstage at yesterday's Vanity Fair photo shoot? That sounds likely. [P6]
There's something about that wily British press that can extract a flat-out mea culpa from interview subjects where hundreds of American journalists have tried and failed. Frost did it with Nixon, and now the Daily Mail does it with Lynne Spears, mother of Britney. No doubt, a ragtag group of journalists and producers got together for months poring over their strategy, and now, finally, they have given Lynne the cross-examination she never had, producing the apology an entire country had been clamoring for:
Have 'Em In Bed by Midnight: The one morning we don't listen to Ryan Seacrest's show, look at what we miss: Pussycat Dolls Celebrity Child Daycare is officially ready for business! And they didn't waste any time courting their first client. "We can babysit Britney Spears' kids!" said lead Doll Nicole Scherzinger, whose combo will open for Spears on her upcoming tour. Surely both parties couldn't ask for a better deal, with young Sean and Jayden Federline getting the tender pop-burlesque nanny care that has long eluded them, and the gaze of the boys' innocent eyes helping the Dolls endure the nightly pain of backstage Brazilian waxes. Win-win! [RyanSeacrest.com]
♦ People got Alex Rodriguez to open up about his relationship with Madonna. Or, you know, maybe not. The slugger claims that they're just "friends—that's it." He also says he's never been on a plane with her, despite the countless photos that clearly indicate otherwise. [People]
♦ Have Tea Leoni and David Duchovny reunited? Star reports they were spotted holding hands at a Tasti D-Lite on the Upper East Side and they've picked up a $7.5 million apartment in the East 70s. [Star]
♦ It looks like Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin may have buried the hatchet after Harvey publicly thanked Scott at the premiere of The Reader on Wednesday night. [P6]
♦ A London jury has found Boy George guilty of false imprisonment for having handcuffed a Norwegian male escort to a wall. [People]
Britney Spears shopping with her sons Sean Preston and Jayden at FAO Schwarz ... Oprah leaving her hotel to head to opening night of Alvin Ailey ... Model Miranda Kerr bundled up for a walk ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber pushing a stroller and carrying dry cleaning in NoHo ... George Hamilton leaving his hotel ... Tom Cruise carrying Suri outside of their apartment building ... Katie Holmes arriving at the Schoenfeld Theater ... Kate Winslet on her way to the premiere of her new movie ... Sarah Jessica Parker carrying son James' backpack on a walk in the West Village ... Russell Simmons leaving Britney Spears' birthday party at Tenjune ... and Ciara leaving dinner at Tao on East 58th Street.
♦ It's not just creditors going after Donald Trump these days: An employee of Trump's golf course in LA says in a lawsuit that the club prohibited her from taking lunch and bathroom breaks. She's only asking for $15,000, though, so obviously she didn't learn much during her stint working for the real estate mogul. [TMZ]
♦ A lawyer for Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos says there's "not a shred of truth" to the rumors the couple is splitting up. [OK!]
♦ Britney Spears' birthday party didn't exactly go as planned. None of her close friends showed up and onlookers say she spent the whole time looking "vacant" and "empty." [R&M, P6]
♦ NBC is furious that news of David Gregory's Meet the Press promotion leaked earlier this week. The likely culprit? NBC political director Chuck Todd. [P6]
It was just last December when knocked-up teen Jamie Lynn Spears attended a showing of knocked-up teen comedy Juno, and oh, how we all larfed! The parallels, they were strong! The imagined glances between Jamie Lynn and mom Lynne, so awkward! Now, though, Star is revealing an extra wrinkle that might have made that Juno viewing even more unbearable: you see, much like our homeskillet Juno MacGuff, Jamie Lynn originally thought she was carrying a "food baby." Sadly, by the time she figured out it was a "baby baby," she had already done something she probably shouldn't have:
Sarah Jessica Parker and son James surveying Christmas trees in the West Village ... John Mayer leaving Sony's offices on Madison and 55th ... Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Suri getting out of an SUV outside their apartment ... Kate Winslet walking into the "Times Talks" event on West 41st Street ... Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze holding hands outside the Gotham Independent Film Awards at Cipriani Wall Street ... Britney Spears heading into her birthday party at Tenjune, and Alessandra Ambrosio leaving the party a few hours later... and Peaches Geldof wrapping her face in a scarf to avoid having a photographer take her pic.
♦ Hockey star/former Vogue intern Sean Avery was suspended from the NHL indefinitely yesterday following "inappropriate public comments" about ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. "It's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," he said referring to Cuthbert's relationship with fellow hockey player Dion Phaneuf. [NYP]
♦ Britney Spears celebrated her birthday and album release yesterday by lip-synching her way through a performance on GMA and then heading off to Tenjune, where she partied with the likes of Heidi Klum and Lance Bass. The comeback may be short-lived: She's still abusing prescription drugs and is "plagued by insomnia and shaking fits," at least according to the Star. [The Sun, ThisIsLondon, Star]
♦ Blake Fielder-Civil, Amy Winehouse's estranged husband, just got out of prison. But now it looks like a return trip is in store. [Mirror, Daily Mail]
