Three people, including the gunman, are dead following a shootout at a Delaware courthouse Monday morning. It happened just after 8:00 a.m., when a man walked into the New Castle County Courthouse in Wilmington and opened fire. Police have not identified the shooter or his victims, both women, though WCAU is reporting the man's name was David T. Matusiewicz.

Denver police are investigating a shooting this morning that left three dead, including two children. Another child was injured and taken to the hospital; all three children involved are under 10 years old.

The seven-day stand-off between a survivalist and Alabama and federal authorities has come to a close. Jimmy Lee Dykes, who kidnapped a five-year-old boy in Midland City after shooting his school bus driver last week, is dead; the boy he had kidnapped is alive.

A student was shot in the back of the neck, apparently by a fellow student, at the at Price Middle School in Atlanta on Thursday afternoon, and a teacher sustained "minor scrapes and bruises" after being trampled during the aftermath. The underage victim was admitted to Grady Memorial Hospital, and is "awake and breathing," according to Atlanta Public Schools; the teacher was treated on-scene.

A likely terrified, apparently bleeding dolphin is stranded in the Gowanus Canal — the polluted Superfund site/former Mafia dumping ground running through central Brooklyn. Authorities and dolphin experts are on-scene, but no rescue operation can be attempted until for high tide — at 7 p.m.

At least three people sustained multiple gunshot wounds today at Lone Star College in Houston, Texas, apparently the result of an argument in which guns were drawn. One of the two alleged shooters is in custody, and the college says the "situation is under control."

Algerian militants are claiming that as many as 34 hostages, including at least six foreigners, and 15 of their kidnappers were killed on Thursday in a helicopter attack undertaken by the Algerian military as the hostages were being moved to another location. A day earlier, 41 foreigners — including Norwegian, Japanese, British and American citizens — and more than 100 Algerians had been kidnapped at a natural gas complex in the southern part of the country. Sources in the British government describe the 34 figure as "high." According to the Algerian military, the operation is "ongoing."

A Chicago woman was stalking a priest because god "told her" to marry him. Chicago is the new Florida.

Hostess and its union have failed to agree during mediation talks. The Twinkie is now actually doomed.

Hostess and its union agree to mediation, averting a liquidation of the company. Let the accusations of lying begin.

David Petraeus, the national-security golden-boy who rose from commander of CENTCOM to head of the CIA (and was often mentioned as a potential future GOP presidential candidate), has reportedly resigned, citing an extramarital affair.

There are now numerous reports that between two and seven people were shot at 5th Avenue and 34th Street near the Empire State Building around 9 this morning. The New York Post currently says only two were shot. But the Twitter feed NYScanner reports that seven people were shot in total, including the shooter, who was killed by police. Of the other six victims, five are reportedly stable and one is in serious condition.

Fire broke out in the underground parking garage today at Place Vendôme, the famous Parisian square near the Ritz Hotel and Tuileries Gardens. According to Huffington Post and its French affiliate, "over 100 firemen and 25 trucks" are "on the scene."

At least three tornadoes have slammed the midwest and South this afternoon, from Alabama to Indiana. As of 4pm there were tornado warnings in six states according to CNN.

The bomb squad has been called in to investigate a suspicious package at Rush Limbaugh's home in Palm Beach, Florida.

Right wing web provacateur Andrew Breitbart is dead. His own sites, Big Journalism and Big Government and Big Hollywood, are all carrying a statement from Breitbart.com president Larry Solov saying that "Andrew passed away unexpectedly from natural causes shortly after midnight this morning in Los Angeles."

While you were sleeping, getting ready for work, or—most likely—doing anything besides being a protestor or a cop, United States Park Police entered the Occupy DC encampment at McPherson Square in riot gear at 5:30 this morning.

A police officer has reportedly been shot on the Virginia Tech campus, where police just apprehended an apparent suspect—though another suspect, a "white male, gray sweat pants, gray hat w/neon green brim, maroon hoodie and backpack," may still be at large. There's also a "potential second victim" in the Cage parking lot; Roanoke Times reporter Lerone Graham is Tweeting live from the campus, as is student paper Collegiate Times.

The day's not even halfway over, and the Dow Jones Industrial Average has already dropped more than 300 fucking points, close to 3% of its value. The Nasdaq is down more than 3% as well. What's the problem? Fear of a looming double-dip recession. (What's "looming" is the second dip.) Haha, have you been missing 2009? Perhaps we'll get to live it all over again!

CNN is reporting a possible armed man on Virginia Tech's campus, the site of the 2007 massacre that left 32 dead. The campus is on lockdown as police search for a man possibly carrying a handgun. The good news: Class isn't in session.