Lawyer Casey Greenfield's media career used to revolve around her relationship with her CBS correspondent father. Then she had CNN correspondent Jeff Toobin's out-of-wedlock child, fought him in court, and reinvented herself. New area of expertise: Being a spurned lover.

There is a certain kind of child who always has sticky red popsicle slush dribbling down his chin. Everyone blames farts and lice outbreaks on him. How did ex-certified hottie Jessica Simpson become Hollywood's version of that kid?

The Australian government announced plans today to ban all shiny branding and logos on cigarette packs—it'll just be the brand name, and a big ol' photo of a diseased lung. Eh, they all taste like diseased lungs anyhow. [SMH]

No one buys music anymore. So what to do if you're a pop band trying to make it big? It's simple — whore yourself out to any company that will give you cash. And start flash mobs for Oprah.

Playboy's once-mighty breast photography publishing empire is crumbling into dust, so the company is just selling its logo to anything and everything in order to raise some cash. This upsets the weirdos who collected Playboy crap before it was cool.

As of September 1, when combat troops begin leaving Iraq, the war will be officially renamed from "Operation Iraqi Freedom" to "Operation New Dawn."

Disney is marketing Alice in Wonderland to Goths with a soundtrack featuring The Cure and "an extensive line of clothing and accessories" at Hot Topic, including a "black shackle bracelet for $10." So much for that. [WSJ]

After the government's jackbooted thugs decided that "light" cigarettes were illegal, terrified consumers mewled, "However shall we distinguish our favorite formerly 'light' brands?" Here's how: They'll all be conveniently color-coded. It's like this whole "ban" never happened, huzzah!

Here's a hypnotic look at our dystopian "Augmented reality" future, in which our vision is at all times obscured by constantly-morphing hovering clouds of computer-generated brand logos. Helps you understand why your grandparents hate the internet. [via Adfreak]

Just when you think there isn't anything left for Chanel to stamp its brand on—maybe you'd be interested in buying a temporary tattoo for $75?—and Karl Lagerfeld comes through with another surprise. Yes, Chanel-branded footballs can now be purchased for $175. Don't forget to share the good news with all the fashion-forward football fanatics in your life! [FWD]

The Beaver magazine changes title: "For whatever reasons, [youth] are turned off by the name."

The Observer reported last week that execs at Condé Nast have been thinking about cutting licensing deals to generate a little extra revenue, even though Condé chairman Si Newhouse has been resistant to the idea in the past since it has the potential "cheapen the brand." Presumably Vogue-branded toilet paper is a good example of a product extension that would never see the light of day. But it's nice to see that one Mexican company is giving it a go anyway! [Paper]

Condé Nast may start sullying itself by licensing its fancy magazine brand names for dreaded "brand extensions" to raise extra cash. Go big, we say! Click through for seven Condé Nast brand extensions that will really work.

Bristol Palin has formed BSMP, LLC to provide "lobbying, public relations, and political consulting services." The 19-year-old would-be power broker's first client, revealed by MSNBC's Rachel Maddow, is the pro-abstinence Candie's Foundation. The firm is named for the initials of Bristol Sharon Marie Palin, which makes it distinctly less exciting-sounding than mother Sarah Palin's Pie Spy LLC.

Were you aware that Sex and the City slot machines are coming soon to Las Vegas' classiest casinos? They are. (And they pump out lines from the show—like "Hello, lover!"—every time someone hits a jackpot. Cool!) Chris Noth made a personal appearance in Sin City a couple of weeks ago to unveil the new machines. The speech he gave in honor of the momentous occasion appears after the jump for your viewing pleasure.

Stop everything, The Internet: AOL is now Aol. Whether superimposed on a fish or a hand or just some swirly crap, this logo makes the bold statement: We can no longer afford capital letters. [Ad Age]

When you hear "AOL," you think of the dial-up Internet service that your elderly aunt still uses, right? Prepare for all of that to change! Now that AOL is being spun off by Time Warner, it's developed a new logo, dropping the all-caps and going with "Aol." which, in case you missed it, tacks on a period after the letters. America's perceptions will shift in no time! [PaidContent, WSJ/Digits]

The new McDonald's in Chelsea is much improved. Not the food, dummy: The ambience. It's the first in America to undergo what the AP calls "a sleek, European-style makeover". Come, let us explore this wonderful place.

Judging purely by outward appearances, you might guess that Learning Annex instructor Donald Trump is still some sort of "big wheel" in the casino business. But actually he is barely even in the business any more, because he's a loser.

This is the greatest moment in corporate branding since the Pepsi logo was revealed to be the entire universe. [PostSecret]