Soon-to-be former Speaker of the House Rep. Nancy Pelosi is in need of a "stronger brand," so, naturally, she's soliciting branding advice from director Steven Spielberg. (Lesson No. 1: "Don't chase the little kid and the alien.")

Today, in delightful branding-related serendipity: Ron DiMenna, the 73-year-old founder of Ron Jon Surf Shops, was arrested for driving under the influence... of Four Loko. If only all apparel-store founders acted in exactly the way we expect their customers to!

Though the idea of a Wikileaks condom—with Julian Assange's face beside the word "dick"—is laudable, the DickiLeaks fails in execution, starting with its slogan: "We leak more than the truth." Insemination by surprise? [via]

At an auction of brand names, "John Elduff, a 20-year-old student from Philadelphia, submitted a winning bid of $2,000 for Collier's - the name of a magazine that stopped publishing more than 30 years before he was born." Cool.

Trick question: What's poorer than an American city? Answer: the American state in which that city is located! Haha. But seriously, are you interested in paying to plaster your name on any public property, anywhere? You totally can.

In America, cigarette packs will soon come with graphic health warnings. That's nothing. In Europe, they already have those health warnings; and now, they want to totally ban branded cigarette packaging. But what about the tragic destruction of coolness?

We all know that Democrats love Starbucks and Hustler, while Republicans love Skoal and Soldier of Fortune. Or do they? A new study of the favorite brands of liberals and conservatives show some surprising agreements.

Have you ever wanted to smell like a city? Now's your chance: The City of Beverly Hills next year will debut its own line of perfume, emblazoned with the city's logo because it is a "center of fashion, sophistication, energy."

MySpace—remember that?—just unveiled a new logo. A clean, sans-serif bat signal to all the cool kids who left for Facebook: Come back! We're hip; we're with it. We listen to your independent rock and roll music.

People really are very upset about the new logo of famous clothing store GAP! Whereas the former white-on-blue logo was iconic, the new black-letters-next-to-a-little-blue-box design has Gap fans and branding experts alike befuddled and discombobulated.

With cheap house brands, Carrefour wants to become "the IKEA of groceries." (European Trader Joe's.)

Democrats are feeling optimistic! Since Republicans have nominated a joke Senate candidate in Delaware, Democrats now will win one midterm election, instead of zero. And to capitalize on this momentum, the Democratic party released a new logo and slogan today!

Wiped out by Madoff's Ponzi scheme, members of a Long Island country club may slap Donald Trump's name on everything and become a "'Trump-branded' country club," thereby raising money and helping their borough beat New Jersey in a tackiness competition.

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure is the most famous breast cancer charity in the world. They've helped so many people. Everyone except other charities. Susan Komen will cut a bitch for wearing the wrong colors.

When Conde Nast announced early this year that it would be pursuing "brand extensions" to try to scare up some cash, we took it as a joke. But it's all too real! A cafe...named for GQ...in Istanbul? Sure, why not?

The YMCA has rebranded itself as "The Y." It's not just a letter any more.

The Interior Department has renamed its perennially incompetent Minerals Management Service the "Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement," so now there will be no more oil spills and we can all shut up.

Mogul spawn Ivanka Trump has signed a deal to start a Trump handbag line. You can now wear Trump shoes and Trump jewelry while trumping from Trump World Tower to the Trump National Golf Club for a Trump steak. TRUMP!

KFC knows how to do three things: 1. Get lots of PR for its terrifying chicken-byproduct products; 2. Lose money; and 3. Make comical "branding" statements, while doing items one and two. Wait'll you catch the new tagline!

You there, citizen: is that coffee in your hand a Starbucks™ brand coffee? There is a 95% likelihood that it is not. That is unacceptable. Fear not; Starbucks™ brand coffee will soon be even more ubiquitous. More Starbucks. More!