Over the long Thanksgiving weekend, Forbes editor Dan Lyons's Fake Steve Jobs blog was taken over by Fake Bono. As the story goes, Bono was spending Thanksgiving at Jobs's house and found El Jobso had left himself logged into Blogger. He got drunk with Googlers, flew on Marissa Mayer's jet to meet the Pope in Uganda, introduced the U2 Edition iPhone, and wouldn't shut up about his RED campaign. Really, who is this guy? Send guesses my way. After the jump, an apology of sorts from Fake Bono to Fake Steve.

As CNET points out, it's all about the business ties. U2 lead singer Bono is the most stylish managing director at Elevation Parters, the Sand Hill private equity firm. Elevation cofounder Marc Bodnick is on the board of directors of iLike. Hence, the arrangement. Bonus for close students of the Valley's real social networks: Marc Bodnick's wife is Michelle Sandberg, the sister of Google executive Sheryl Sandberg, who's married to former Yahoo Music chief Dave Goldberg, who's an iLike advisor. Got that?

A tipster is telling us we got it right on why founder Jimmy Wales is moving Wikipedia to San Francisco: dollar bills. Tall stacks of them. Specifically, Wales is looking to tap the deep pockets of Wikipedia benefactor Roger McNamee of Elevation Partners, our source believes. You know, the firm U2 frontman Bono shills for. Our tipster writes that McNamee and Wales have plans to profit from Wikipedia. Curious, since Wikipedia's run by a nonprofit. The tip, after the jump.

Private-equity firm Elevation Partners — which counts U2 frontman Bono among its partners — sold gaming companies BioWare and Pandemic Studios to Electronic Arts for $860 million. Elevation Partners, which is named after the U2 song, was a natural for EA to do a deal with. One of the founding partners, John Riccitiello, is the CEO of Electronic Arts. Elevation purchased the two game companies in late 2005 for $300 million. Not bad for less than two years' work. [WSJ]

From the mailbag: "Bono is at the New York Times for a publisher's luncheon (?) He says he wants to see the Politics Desk, so he might be down on the third floor soon."

Are the Forbes family and Bono's Elevation Partners looking to cash out on Forbes? [NYP]

Money's so tight at Forbes that the publishing company had to sell of its two corporate airplanes. That Bono runs a tight ship! If you're looking to pick up a Faberge egg on the cheap, you might want to keep your ear to the ground: We wouldn't be surprised if they offload a few from Steve Forbe's collection sometime soon. [NYP]

From cartoonist Hugh MacLeod, a concise explanation of why Apple CEO Steve Jobs keeps pushing his company deeper into the music business, and why rock star Bono has joined tech private-equity firm Elevation Partners.

• Owen Wilson was mysteriously hospitalized yesterday and, while no respectable news organization has reported this yet, he's rumored to have slit his wrists and taken pills. Owen, honey. Well. It is a bummer that Kate Hudson is dating Dax Shepard. [TMZ, Daily Mail]
  

Literally dozens of menacing long-haired young people have set up eco-camps around London's Heathrow airport, claiming that airplanes are bad for children and other living things and that you can't hug a child with a nuclear airplane and what if British Airways had to hold a bake sale and all the schools got free upgrades to first class? Apparently these youth believe that airplanes are a significant cause of so-called "global warming" and that nobody should fly in them—that we should all just hop around on giant toadstools and live off the magical power of the wind. The protesters, all of whom are out-of-country millionaires due to the insane value of the English pound, expect to be visited over the next week by green-sympathizers like Bono, Jann Wenner and Graydon Carter, each of whom will arrive in his own private jet.

• U2 spokesperson Bono and Penelope Cruz were spotted strolling down a beach hand in hand. Wait ... Bono's gay? [R&M]
  

Rodale—home of Men's Health superhunk Dave Zinczenko and the South Beach Diet—is looking to expand. Bono's Elevation Partners may want in. [NYP]

A correspondent from the UK notes that this month's Bono-produced pro-Africa issue comes bundled with a separate 74-page magazine devoted to diamonds and other "jewellery." (Click to enlarge.) It appears to be a UK exclusive.

Hey, so the Vanity Fair Africa issue hit newsstands today! Guest-edited by Bono! We rushed out to get our copy and brought it to the office where we realized that, you know, we're kind of shallow. Isn't Africa kind of last fall? We don't have the attention spans for that stuff. You know what we do care about, though? Celebrities! And with twenty different celebrity-studded covers, the magazine kept up involved for a good five minutes looking at the Annie Leibovitz compositions. Each one blends one subject from the previous cover, so you've got your Don Cheadle and Barack Obama giving way to Barack and Muhammad Ali. Here's a handy guide to who you'll want to look for at the newsstand.

Bono-edited issue of Vanity Fair to have different covers featuring every single resident of Africa. [WWD]

When Bono is through chillaxing with The Edge and saving Africa, all he wants is to spend some quality time with his family in their San Remo penthouse. But according to the Times, ex-rocker and fellow San Remo resident Billy Squier's chimney is blowing smoke into Bono's pad, giving the singer no small amount of strife and his asthmatic daughter no small amount of attacks. Can't a man enjoy a pine-scented evening spent rehashing his astounding fall from fame in the privacy of his own home? But isn't also true that for $14.5 million, Bono's daughter should be able to live a long and at least sort of healthy life? There's only one way to decide. To the tape!

Let us begin with the cover of Portfolio. It's a gilded city image, a metropolis of lit-up office windows in earth tones, oddly, as it is supposed to be an homage to Berenice Abbott. (A funny reference, as she was told that New York City was too toxic for her to live in and so she left.) Publisher David Carey and Editor in Chief Joanne Lipman are shown in the Times this morning comparing their cover favorably to a recent Fortune cover, with Carey saying, "We're not giving you peas and carrots. We want to capture that glamour." By that measure things are certainly already a success; the magazine certainly weighs as much as Glamour.

• CBS News hired Rick Kaplan without consulting Katie Couric. They probably just didn't want her to worry her pretty little head about it. [NYT]
  

Irish singer Bono's (Red) campaign—you know, the thing besides guest-editing July's Vanity Fair that Bono's doing to help bring awareness to the plight of African AIDS victims—got slammed yesterday in AdAge. The mag got all bitchy on the discrepancy between the estimated $100 million for marketing and the campaign's $18 million gleanings. (Red) didn't like that so much!

"I'm just saying, it seems like a lot of money for mac-and-cheese."
Wow, the plight of Africa must really be important: Graydon Carter, who rarely produces theme issues or hobnobs with celebrities, has turned over editing duties for the July issue of Vanity Fair (although, let's be honest, it's not like he does a ton of editing in the first place) to Bono, an Irish musician who is on something of a mission to reduce poverty on that continent. David Carr profiles the odd couple in today's Times, and there are shocks a-plenty.