How do you boost interest in your struggling newspaper during these challenging economic times? You get a rock star to write an Op-Ed column! The man who oversees the New York Times' editorial pages, Andrew Rosenthal, says that Bono will write a regular Op-Ed column beginning in 2009. [Radar]

Kirsten Dunst offering a smile to photographers while walking in the Village ... Tom Cruise waving at photographers and later carrying Suri as he headed to the West Side heliport ... Claire Danes carrying grocery bags ... Alex Rodriguez walking through Midtown ... Rachael Ray's husband kissing her on a red carpet ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon walking into the theater to see In The Heights ... Mario Cantone pretending to drink out of a pink shoe at the SATC DVD release party ... An unhappy-looking Bono getting out of a car ... Drew Barrymore making her way through a crowd with her hand on Chace Crawford's arm ...Kate Winslet acting goofy with friends ... and Gwyneth Paltrow leaving a party for her new PBS show with Mario Batali.

Before embarking on a sailing expedition to U2 front man Bono's house, silver fox George Clooney went over all the safety procedures for the yacht with his passengers. After his presentation — which included a PowerPoint slideshow explaining which side is port and which is starboard — Clooney wore a life preserver until the seafaring vessel docked at Bono's. While some of his passengers laughed at him, The Cloonester stood firm, largely because his aunt Rosemary always told him that he should be a leader, not a follower.

There's probably been a time or two when you've been tempted to check out a restaurant or bar simply because some celebrity supposedly "owns" it. Maybe I'll see Justin Timberlake devouring a plate of ribs at Southern Hospitality! Or I'll spot Robert De Niro slurping on some pasta at Ago! Restaurateurs know this, too, of course, which is why they're all so eager to attach a celebrity name—any one will do!—to their ill-conceived bistro, brasserie, speakeasy, lounge, or barbecue shack. We don't want to be the ones to crush your dreams and tell you that there's no chance you'll see these famous faces at these venues. Just in case you're the more optimistic type—or just curious who has a stake in what—we happily introduce the Cityfile celebrity-owned restaurant/bar map!

Rumors of a Product Red iPhone, which would send a hefty chunk of change to fight AIDS in Africa with each purchase, may be real this year. I'm just saying, my made-up version last Thanksgiving had better specs.

In an attempt to scare away an swarm of photographers surrounding U2 front man Bono's French home, respected actor Robert De Niro recited some of his more intimidating and memorable film lines. Unfortunately for De Niro and Bono's houseguests, the scary line readings only garnered laughs from the French photographers, as well as wishes/desires for De Niro to do another comedy. De Niro threw his hands up in the air and suggested that if they play some of Bono's music that might make the photogs leave.

U2 frontman Bono disagreed with manager Paul McGuinness's judgment on the failure of Radiohead's Web busking for In Rainbows, but like McGuinness, he lays the blame for the death of the music industry's business model at the feet of those greedy Internet service providers in his open letter to New Music Express:

Google has asked San Francisco for permission to host a "picnic-style dinner" for 1,400 sales employees on June 11. What's really pathetic: Google wants its salespeople to boogie down after hours to the sounds of U2 and Journey. Not the actual U2 and Journey, mind you, but cover bands. Neighbors aren't charmed, and not just by having their backyards used at the set for lightly inebriated lip dubs of "Don't Stop Believing." But the people who bring in Google's billions should ask why, if Larry Page is such pals with Bono, he wasn't able to deliver the real thing for their park-wide party.

Have you ever found yourself mindlessly trying on the latest pair of $800 jeans at Fred Segal and suddenly realized, you know what? It must be way hard for all those African girls out there in Africa and The Iraq Such As to even wear jeans like this. Why? As "Cameron Diaz" (flawlessly portrayed by Tracey Ullman) informs us, for the very first time all their genitals are falling off! The suckiest part? "This is the golden age of American blue jeans! It's really sad and amazing." The fictional burp-happy actress' solution, of course, is to star in That Terrible Time Of The Month, in which a gun-toting Diaz burps and farts her way through the jungle to save each and every halfway-severed ladypart from girls named Toko. For more insight, including Bono's method of miming the actual chop and toss, watch our clip after the jump.

Everyone's beating up on Wkipedia founder Jimmy Wales for his shady dealings. But evidence has now arisen that if he's a money-grubber, he's not a particularly skilled one. When Wales turned in receipts for $30,000 in expenses charged to the Wikimedia Foundation, Wikipedia's nonprofit parent, among them was a $1,300 dinner at a steakhouse in Tampa. In attendance: Marc Bodnick, another Elevation Partners cofounder. Bodnick later introduced Wales to Bono. (His sister-in-law Sheryl Sandberg, then a Google exec, now Facebook's COO, helped connect Bodnick and Bono, a contact from her Washington days.) The foundation's board ultimately turned down Wales's request to get paid back for the dinner.

The visual shortcut for celebs-in-philanthropy is Natalie Portman looking fresh-faced in a t-shirt — at least in Sunday's NYT Magazine article, "The Celebrity Solution." As PR man Howard Bragman puts it, "You can't just get $20 million a picture, you've got to serve turkeys to the poor, too." Our favorite part is the faux-naivete Portman adopts when explaining that her celebrity facilitates getting pet cause a meeting on Capitol Hill:

In an interview with BoomTown's Kara Swisher, Facebook's new second-in-command Sheryl Sandberg says "Silicon Valley is a very good place for women."

• Britney Spears' stupid dad took away her stupid booze and set her bedtime at stupid 11 o'clock, but he can't make her keep on her underwear, ha ha! Despite having a Vagina Of Freedom, Spears doesn't get to see her sons, even though K-Fed thinks the toddlers would be a more mature influence on the troubled singer than alleged grown men Sam Lufti and Adnan Ghalib.

Bono gave a red iPod to the Japanese Prime Minister hoping to encourage more support from Japan to combat African poverty. Yasuo Fukuda asked Bono if his music was preloaded on the device. "No, but you can download it."

[Bono in France, after a meeting with President Sarkozy to discuss issues related to Africa, Jan 8; image via Bauer-Griffin]

I finally got the story behind Bono's alleged appearance at the Demo tradeshow last year. MindTouch cofounder Aaron Fulkerson recruited the singer from a U2 tribute band — Pavel Sfera from San Diego-area Desire — to walk around the show floor and do his shtick for laughs. Sfera, shown here with telejourno Natali Del Conte, turned out even better than the real thing: He ad-libbed monologues about Mother Teresa, Desmond Tutu and Jesus all over the place. Because of the real Bono's role at Elevation Partners, and oh just maybe an oversized sense of their own importance, Demo attendees believed what they wanted to believe: Saint Paul of Clontarf had come by their show to check out their startup! Fulkerson had to hustle Sfera out of the show after founders began excitedly pitching him. "I've got a cure for hunger," one gushed. It involved Web page markup technology. (Photo by Brian Solis, I think)

Thank you for seeing me, doctor. Right here on the couch, turned away from you? I read that doctors do that to eliminate the burden of eye contact. Ha, or in case they don't like your face, good one. Actually I don't like my face much either. That's what I'm here about.

We hear that Larry Page's wedding to Lucy Southworth on Necker Island Sunday was a smaller affair than widely reported — only 170 people, not 600. Confirmed in attendance: Richard Branson, who officiated, and Bono, who read a poem he wrote for the couple and performed a song. Oh, and also San Francisco's hunky god-mayor, Gavin Newsom, shown here with Page and Google cofounder Brin. How do we know Newsom was there?

Since I first noticed that Fake Bono had taken over Fake Steve Jobs's blog, I've been wondering who Fake Bono really is. We had a number of guesses: Dan Lyons was taking on a second alter ego; Bono himself was writing; Marc Bodnick, cofounder of Elevation Partners, where Bono is a partner, was taking a turn; and Bono-wannabe Valleywag contributor Paul Boutin. After carefully reviewing the Bono posts, we're ready to reveal the identity of Fake Bono.