Crazy-corrupt former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich can't go to Costa Rica to take part in an NBC reality show, a federal judge told the Chicago poet-crook today. But what about the children?

Rod Blagojevich's months-long media bombing campaign has reached its inevitable climax: The disgraced former Illinois governor plans to join an NBC reality show, alongside J. Lo's ex-husband.

"Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough," Rod Blagojevich said to assembled reporters outside a Chicago courthouse today. That means he pleaded not guilty.

Surprise: the Office of Congressional Ethics is investigating Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. for that whole "Rod Blagojevich's Senate Candidate 5" thing.

A grand jury has indicted Rod Blagojevich, the disgraced, impeached, and irrelevant former Illinois governor, on 16 felony charges. So what is the poet-politician doing? Going to Disney World, of course!

Hero Illinois Senator Roland Burris apparently did a little bit of lying under oath about how Rod Blagojevich's brother got him to try to raise some money for Blago, and suddenly no one likes him anymore!

Scandal- and bad-hair-ridden ex-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was spotted at the Flatiron offices of Macmillan, the book publisher. Blagojevich, who loves poetry as much as he loves profanity, must surely have a memoir in him.

Failed horse trader Gov. Rod Blagojevich continues his sad media tour on the Today show today, where Meredith Vieira succeeds in making him sound like Bill Clinton in his most pitiful Lewinsky scandal moments.

Great news: former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's publicist just sent out his client's media schedule for tomorrow! He will be everywhere!

Here's what makes Rod Blagojevich such an evil genius: after being removed from office unanimously, he comes out onto his front porch and tells the media that he's a hero.

Crooked Illinois Governor Rod "BLAGO" Blagojevich has been impeached and convicted, ladies and gentlemen. Without a dissenting vote. He'll never hold elected office in the state again:

From the city of broad shoulders, creeping into our hearts like little cat feet, comes a new American versemaker, Rod Blagojevich. This video medley from the Illinois governor's impeachment defense shows it was pure poetry.

Rod Blagojevich's hilarious media tour has succeeded! Sure, he'll still be kicked out of office tomorrow, but now everyone in America loves him!

Like the Richard Nixon groupie he is, Rod Blagojevich quickly broke his promise to Rachel Maddow to become the "anti-Nixon." Instead he broke court rules and dodged questions, on national television.

Rod Blagojevich continued his "if I keep talking they can't impeach me, right?" media tour today with a stop at Good Morning America this morning. What crazy things has he said so far?

The question isn't why crazy-corrupt Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was impeached; it's why it took so long. It turns out the guy has a popular touch! A very popular one. And an update!

The Illinois House impeached Governor Rod Blagojevich today, hooray! The lawmakers voted 114-1 to impeach, after denouncing him for an hour or so.

Sam Adam Jr., a former defense lawyer for R. Kelly, is now working for Rod Blagojevich, the embattled Illinois governor. What's his advice for his wiretapped client? Don't pick up the phone!

Blago faces impeachment! The embattled Illinois governor is about to become even embattleder, as the Illinois House rushes back to work (next week).

Hahahaha criminal Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich has exercised his right to make an appointment to the US Senate.