To Dr. Ben Carson, Thomas Jefferson is more than just the man on the $10 bill.

The proposal to create a federal department of Judeo-Christian values is only a symbolic proposal. It’s useful to remember this. The politician who put it forward, John Kasich, is not considered to have any realistic chance of becoming the next president. He is an unrealistic presidential candidate because he is, at the moment, viewed as being too conventional and moderate to make an interesting impression with the public.

In a curious turn of events, Ben Carson’s campaign is denouncing a recent New York Times report by throwing a man who may or may not be advising him under the bus to the old age home.

Imagine a bold reinvention of U.S. geography. Vermont, home of the dreaded Bernie Sanders, is forced to merge with Connecticut, and the rest of New England marches northward in celebration of the socialist purge. The Carson campaign would like you to know: If such an imaginary hybrid state did exist in real life, Carson would definitely not support Syrians taking refuge there.

Advisers to Ben Carson, a flannel pillowcase with aspirations of greatness, are ready to admit their candidate might be having a hard time grasping the complexities of foreign policy, reports the Associated Press.

Donald Trump has already staked his claim to the worst idea in immigration policy—a retrograde mass deportation scheme that was once known as Operation Wetback—but there are plenty of other cockamamie schemes to solve the problem of having a country that workers want to move to. On Wednesday, self-professed teen stabber Dr. Ben Carson announced his own at a press conference.

Ben Carson said yesterday that free college education would cause “the destruction of the nation.” We’re now in the part of the campaign where we just listen to Ben Carson talk until all his poll numbers go down for good.

After last nights’s 187th Republican presidential debate, SBNation’s PFT Commenter asked Ben Carson—who thinks abortion should be outlawed even in cases of rape and incest—a very important question. “You are perhaps the most anti-Hitler but also the most anti-abortion candidate,” he said. “Would you be in favor of aborting baby Hitler?”

In one of Seinfeld’s most memorable episodes, George spends the entire 30 minutes telling his friends about the great comeback he would have employed against an insulting coworker, if he’d thought of it at the time. At the end, he travels halfway across the country and painstakingly recreates the original situation just to tell the guy “The jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!” A sick burn that Ben Carson’s campaign almost landed on Donald Trump last night was kind of like that, too.

Attention, American voters: make the right choice in 2016. Elect the candidate from the party the firmly vows not to raise your wages. Uhhhhhh.

At tonight’s 358th GOP debate, Ben Carson is almost certainly going to be pushed to respond to the many, many, many claims of fabulism that have been levied against the candidate in recent weeks. So many, in fact, it can be hard to keep track (especially if your name is Ben Carson). But don’t worry—we’re here to help.

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal cast doubt on a story candidate Ben Carson was told about himself in his 1990 autobiography involving a fake psychology test. Now, BuzzFeed News reports, it would seem that Carson was indeed the victim of a hoax—just not the hoax that he thought.

In recent days, the press has run Ben Carson’s anecdote about attempting to stab his close friend as a teenager through the wringer: What were the circumstances? Why don’t his friends remember it happening? Did it really happen it all? But one explosive question—perhaps the most important one of all—remains unanswered: Was young Ben Carson really a fan of the magazine Psychology Today?

The World Bank—friend to hippy-dippy liberal types, ally to socialists, bastion of political correctness, a cadre of Social Justice Warriors if ever there was one—estimates that 100 million people could be pushed into poverty by 2030 by, you guessed it, climate change.

An infamous American myth, heralded by politicians for centuries, holds that George Washington, at the tender age of six, admitted his guilt by saying “I cannot tell a lie” after hacking down his father’s cherry tree. Ben Carson, it seems, has not heard this story.

Ben Carson’s campaign has denied a key assertion in The Politico’s story about Carson’s relationship with the West Point military academy, calling the paper’s reporting an “outright lie.”

Ben Carson is currently in trouble for, at the very least, embellishing his life story, including a moment in which he says he attempted to stab his friend. Here is video of that pivotal incident, as depicted in the Cuba Gooding Jr.-starring straight-to-TV adaptation of Carson’s memoir, Gifted Hands.

[UPDATE: Ben Carson’s campaign has denied specifically “admitting,” to Politico, that Carson intentionally misled people.] Ben Carson’s campaign reportedly admitted Friday that his oft-repeated story about applying and obtaining a scholarship to the West Point military academy was a lie.

Another day, another dubious claim of violence from Dr. Ben Carson, a man who, for whatever reason, would very much like you to believe he stabbed a friend in the stomach and tried to attack his own mother with a hammer.