With federal authorities cracking down on predatory debit cards and overdraft fees, consumer banks are "scrambling" to find new sources for revenue. The solution: $5 ATM fees, which allows them to rob non-customers, instead. Quoth the Wall Street Journal,

A member of the activist collective Anonymous is claiming to be have emails and documents which prove "fraud" was committed by Bank of America employees, and the group says it'll release them on Monday. The member, who goes by the Twitter handle OperationLeakS, has already posted an internal email from the formerly Bank of America-owned Balboa Insurance Company.

The New York Times interviewed a "noticeably" thinner Bernie Madoff in prison and, wouldn't you know it, he said that "unidentified banks and hedge funds were somehow 'complicit' in his elaborate fraud," and also this:

JP Morgan chief Jamie Dimon is at Davos with all the other rich people talking about money, and whining: "This constant refrain 'bankers, bankers, bankers' is just unproductive and unfair. People should just stop doing that." Bankers are your friends.

Recent laws have limited what fees banks are allowed to charge for certain services. So naturally, banks are dreaming up an entirely new set of fees on other services to make up for it. Below, a quick guide.

"Greed, greed, and more fucking greed." We've all heard the schpiel about how we got into this economic mess plenty of times (maybe not enough), but have you heard it from a true Irishman, accent and all? Now you have.

Remember TARP, the $700 billion bank bailout? Turns out it'll cost "only" $25 billion. That counts as a success! Hooray!

Now that secret-sharing website Wikileaks has thoroughly embarrassed the Pentagon and the U.S. State Department, what's next? According to Die Hard villain-looking founder Julian Assange, a "megaleak" concerning "the ecosystem of corruption" at "a big U.S. bank." Can't wait!

Robbing banks in stupid costumes is so hot these days. But one Connecticut crook has put them all to shame: Police in Wolcott are looking for a man who robbed a bank on Thursday dressed as Spinal Tap's Derek Smalls.

That $700 billion bank bailout? Looks like it'll end up costing us "only" $50 billion.

Despite being the best bank to work for in the whole wide world, Goldman Sachs has a few problems, according to a new lawsuit from three former female employees. Specifically: sexism, racism, and an undying love for strippers.

A California man who walked into a bank claiming to have a bomb, demanding $2,000 to pay his friend's rent, was arrested last week after a crafty bank manager convinced him to fill out a loan application. Genius! [via]

There's a new survey out ranking the best financial firms to work for and (surprise!) Goldman Sachs is number one. It's no contest, especially when Goldman offers fun, camaraderie, and big ass bonuses. The past is history at Goldman Sachs.

It's unclear which illustrious message guru signed off on "Repeal Wall Street Reform" as the new Republican strategy going forward, but it's out of the cage now, before the final vote even takes place. Again: "Repeal Wall Street Reform."

After holding up financial regulatory reform several times to make it more big-bank-friendly, John McCain's enemy, Scott Brown, has finally agreed to support the bill. Its passage seems likely now, although some new asshole will start whining soon enough.

Did you know that Sen. Scott Brown is our President, right now? He's calling all the shots on financial reform! He got what he wanted yesterday — removal of a bank tax — but still won't pledge to vote yes.

Get in on the housing boom while you still can! Real estate numbers are in from the first quarter of 2010, and oh boy are they good: 31% of home sales so far this year were foreclosures!

Since Scott Brown is scared of making enormous banks pay a few bucks to implement financial regulatory reform, Congress has re-opened "closed" negotiations and will probably take the cash from either small banks or your tax dollars. Seriously. [Image: AP]

House and Senate conferees reached a deal on a final financial regulatory reform package last night (this morning?) at 5:39 a.m., with junk food wrappers strewn about the hallowed chamber. What were the final agreements in this, the Dodd-Frank bill?

She's 16 in the video; the guy is 44. Lil' Wayne gets caught with prison contraband. Tyra picks a fight with Palin. Leonardo DiCaprio is mistaken for a normal person. Ian McKellen is mistaken for a beggar. Wednesday gossip arrives.