Showing they know a thing or two about selling bacon burgers, Burger King Japan has begun offering paying customers the option of super-sizing just the bacon portion of their Whoppers.

Today I got a press release for something called the Baconery, which is a bakery that makes things out of bacon. That reminded me of bacon chocolates, bacon lip balm, bacon cologne, bacon vodka, and even bacon fucking lube. It's time to knock it off, people.

Now before you get too upset, the 64-year-old grandmother in question used the garden hose to spray her 9-year-old grandson in the face, and not, well, wherever your mind just went with that headline. But she did it at full blast! And also beat his legs. And all he did was eat a generous portion of delicious, crispy bacon.

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert—with his forehead still adorned with ash—decided that he'd give up Catholicism for Lent. Interesting! Then, Colbert decided to take up Judaism. And then, he gave up "not eating bacon" for Jewish Lent.

You may be familiar with Brooklyn cookbook author Lisa Skye's seminal maize-affection work I Love Corn. That wasn't the only "I [Heart] [Type of Food]" idea that Skye had up her sleeve. She also loves bacon! But when she told her book agent that, Skye says, the agent ran off and stole the idea.

Don't you think the way to fight rising Islamophobia in America is to single out the most ridiculous ones and give them the America's Funniest Home Video treatment with slapstick sound effects and Bob Saget? Here's today's weirdest Islamophobic act:

This child on this classic Wife Swap clip really wanted his bacon, and did not want his new "mother" interfering with his culinary preferences.

You may recognize Jim Gaffigan from his role on My Boys, Pale Force, or his recent eBay commercials. Whether you do or not, take a listen to this bit in which he glorifies everybody's favorite food— bacon.

Anna Wintour told Oprah that she needed to drop at least twenty pounds to be featured on the cover of Vogue and Chase Crawford is set to star in the remake of Footloose.

That upcoming book by the guys who invented the Bacon Explosion"? It won't even have the Bacon Explosion" recipe in it. That was the only consolation prize for killing literature forever, guys. [Pitch]

A couple of barbecue fans concoct a recipe for a bacon-wrapped, bacon-stuffed log of sausage. The media writes about it. Now, they have a book deal. And that's when the idea of 'books' became ridiculous.

Times fashion critic and On The Runway blogger has been kicking up controversy of late, but a recent blog post may be her most shocking yet. Yes, more shocking even than the scathing critiques that got her banned from the shows of Carolina Herrera, Nicole Miller, and Dolce & Gabbana: she tackled a topic that's as taboo in fashion as as a Marxist reading of Julia Kristeva is in a post-Lacanian study group! We speak, of course, of eating food. "Someone on the blog was nice to mention these cookies, so here's the recipe. I make them at Christmas but I think they're pretty good any time. The amount of bacon fat is accurate — appalling but accurate —and I recommend you use a basic supermarket brand bacon. Don't get fancy, and you'll go straight to heaven." But you will no longer fit into your size zero toga when you arrive there, that's for darn sure.