Glitter star Mariah Carey gave birth to twins—a girl and a boy—on Saturday, her fourth wedding anniversary with her husband, the guy from All That. Neither child has yet been named. Like most expecting parents, the couple drove to the hospital in their Rolls-Royce Phantom; according to Carey's publicist Cindi Berger, Cannon "was so nervous he went to the wrong department at the hospital." Carey is apparently "done" with having children. [AP]

If you're a member of the media—and aren't we all, thanks to [platitude about Twitter]?—chances are that you're going to be the subject of some "media criticism" sooner or later. Will you let it destroy you? Why? Handling it like a pro is surprisingly easy!

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the former model turned singer turned French first lady, is pregnant with her second child, according to several French newspapers. The Élysée Palace, which is French for White House, has refused to comment because it's a "personal matter." You know what what means, don't you? The 43-year-old will be popping out the president's son in no time. It will be her second child and Nicolas Sarkozy's fourth, but their first together. It's like Le Bunch du Brady.

Parents: have you purchased your baby a top-of-the-line crib and lovingly accentuated it with "Puffy bumpers, pillows and blankets, low-hanging mobiles and a menagerie of stuffed animals?" You have, haven't you? Because you care about little Aedynn, don't you? Yeah, about death.

You're not handling this well, America.

Just two days after we learned of little Dominic Dill-Reese, the toddler from Michigan who accidentally got hammered on margaritas, comes yet another shocking incident of post-fetal alcohol syndrome. The details are strikingly similar — just replace "Applebee's" with "Olive Garden," and "margarita" with "sangria."

Of all terrible naked pregnant poses, man hand bra is my least favorite. The problem is that, when a man puts his hands on his wife's tits, he automatically makes a grabbing motion. See how Nick's fingers are tensed, his thumbs outstretched and gripping? That is the source of the awkwardness. This is not an elegant nude. This is a virile man getting to second base with a lady he recently knocked up.

Benicio del Toro's publicist, on Rod Stewart daughter and Paris Hilton also-ran Kim Stewart: "Kimberly is pregnant. Benicio is the father and is very supportive. Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby." Good to know. [L&S, images via Getty]

Estrogen risks! Sheep death! Synthetic drugs! Teen drugs! Teen sex! Facebook kidney! Berry cancer! Neck shocker! And your baby has an oddly-shaped head! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—head-scratchingly!

The baby girl twin only laughs when her brother starts laughing and as soon as he stops she stops, and then the cycle starts again.

This cute little family is having a photo session when Rover decides to get inappropriate with a pillow in the background.

Three-year-old Jesse is crying because he's sick of being told he's too small to be the governor of New Jersey. I mean, he's already got the proper education under his belt...or so he claims. His first order of duty seems to be raising property taxes.

Saving smiles! Tainted IVs! Hep C! Water balls! Baby babble! No births! College hookups! And super secret squats! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but just as a friend!

Surely by now you've seen the video of two baby twins "talking" to each other, but what were they really saying? Conan hired an expert of child linguistics to decipher what they said—who knew babies cared so much about Libya?

In these war- and disaster-ravaged times, the world can feel like a grim, deathly place. So it is good to see that yes, in fact, life goes on. Babies are made and will someday be born. Babies like the one Kevin Federline, former dancer and Britney Spears romancer, is expecting with his girlfriend, former volleyball player Victoria Prince. Nature finds a way, guys. It really does. [Photo via Getty]

Something about the loud screaming speaks to his dark, twisted, 10-month-old heart.

It must really suck to have a baby that cries nonstop for hours, days or even weeks on end — a condition that, when properly diagnosed, is called infantile colic. In a new study released by the medical journal Pediatrics, researchers from the University of Exeter found that there's basically nothing you can do about it. So forget about the elixir recipe that grandma's great-great grandma passed down, and toss out that new age baby therapy book that suggests you feed your newborn fennel and teach it yoga or whatever, and brace yourself for a hellish introduction to parenthood. Because, according to the researchers, "the notion that any form of complementary and alternative medicine is effective for infantile colic is currently not supported from the evidence." In other words, you're screwed.

Improbably rich stylist Rachel Zoe gave birth to Skyler Morrison Berman on Tuesday. "Mom and Dad 'LITERALLY' could not be happier or more in love with their son!" Zoe and her husband, Roger Berman, said in a statement.

Bridger just turned two and could possibly teach a few adults a thing or two about maneuvering an iPad. Watch him quickly find apps, draw, fast forward all the while being absolutely adorable.