A cafe in Perth, Australia was slapped with fines after its absurd pay docking policies were deemed officially absurd by the country's Fair Work Ombudsman, which discovered penalties for small mistakes no employee could ever afford to accidentally make. They include losing $112 from your paycheck for not getting a pork belly dish "crispy enough."

"I thought 'I've got this one in the bag' – it was an absolute scream.'" After posing for his firearm license photo with a colander on his head, police confiscated four of an Australian "Pastafarian"'s guns under the (possibly correct) assumption that he was mentally unstable.

Two Australian billionaires apparently started punching each other in broad daylight last week when one confronted the other about dating Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr after leaving his wife and children last year.

Australian breakfast show host and on-air drunk Karl Stefanovic, who will forever be known as the guy who tried (and failed) to tell a Dalai Lama joke to the Dalai Lama, kicked off his Friday by completely losing it while his cohost narrated a cute cat video.

An Australian grilled cheese maker called Jafflechutes, a name that I'll address with much concern later in this post, has succeeded in crowdfunding their parachute-based grilled cheese operation for a visit to New York, as soon as this month.

The heads of the New Zealand and Australian Defense Staffs salute after laying wreaths beside the Australian War Memorial during a dawn service to mark Anzac Day in London on Friday. Anzac Day honors the men of the Australia-New Zealand Army Corps who died in the World War I battle for Gallipoli, Turkey. Image via Matt Dunham/AP.

A drunken passenger attempted to break into the cockpit of a Virgin Australia flight from Australia to Indonesia on Friday, causing the pilot to issue a hijack alert.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had a lot of fun in Australia on Wednesday, lightly placing their fingers on records under the close supervision of a professional disc jockey. After being reassured several times they had not been party to criminal conduct, the royal couple likely returned to their hotel and made real wild, freaky love until 4 p.m., when it was time to dress for their next event.

Prince William looks over the cliff edge as he and his wife Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, observe abseiling and team building exercises at Narrow Neck Lookout near Katoomba, Australia, on Thursday. Image via Ryan Pierse, Pool/AP.

This month, powerful baby Prince George performs his first official royal duty—an inspection of British penal colonies and their outlying areas—as he and his parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, spend three weeks traveling across Australia and New Zealand. During this time, Gawker.com will publish a selection of entries from his minder Kate Middleton's travel journals.

An unmanned aerial vehicle, also known as a drone, struck an athlete in the head during Sunday's Endure Batavia Triathlon in Geraldton, Western Australia.

Australia’s Financial Review reports today that a massive cash payout of $882 million AUD (approximately $800 million USD) to Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp has decimated the Australian government’s annual budget:

Recently I've invented a hobby whereby I invent factoids that are close enough to the truth to be believable, or just so totally random that they're difficult to prove/disprove (e.g. "Professional hurdlers run faster and make fewer mistakes when forced to jump over animals of the exact same height as a hurdle.") I tell these facts to friends and acquaintances in such a manner that they believe to them be irrefutable truth.

No one can figure out where the strange snake-like image that recently popped up on an Australian meteorology radar map came from.

Who hasn't done this before: Early Monday morning, a teenager allegedly got drunk as hell, put a flower pot on his head, grabbed a chainsaw, and tried to rob a 7-Eleven.

Early Wednesday morning, Hendrik Helmer woke with a terrible pain in his right ear. Helmer tried to suck out whatever was causing the ache with a vaccum cleaner. That only made the pain worse.

Sure, it was freezing and awful during the polar vortex but it could be worse: You could live in a place where it's so hot out that tens of thousands of dead bats are falling from the sky and then rotting on the ground.

A "scorching" heat wave is breaking temperature records and causing fires across Australia. We all wish we were there.

Monday night, Australian police had to rescue a tourist after she accidentally walked off a pier because she was too busy checking Facebook on her phone.