Last year, book-publicist-turned-essayist Sloane Crosley left no promotional stone unturned to sell her book I Was Told There'd Be Cake, including constructing dioramas based on each essay. Now you can own one.

Pancake painter to the stars Dan Lacey has completed his second painting suggested by you, the Gawker readers: OctoMom upon the cross, as Angelina and Madonna worship her.

Auctions aren't just for foreclosed homes and creepy trinkets from Michael Jackson's home anymore. Now you can buy toilet paper and pork ribs from auctioneers around the country, as everything spirals into chaos and lawlessness.

Chris Mohney emerged as the remorseful buyer winning bidder for Dan Lacey's portrait of our overlord. In news that will excite fours of Gawker Media employees, he's selling it. He paid $560, current bid: $72.

Aren't you in for a treat! This Saturday, all sorts of wondrous items will be auctioned off at the Tribeca Spring Preview Housing Works sale, and almost all of the ladies of Bravo's Real Housewives of New York are participating. Alex McCord has donated a "bolero jacket with beads all over it," which she tells the Observer she bought at an estate sale a decade ago but has only worn once. LuAnn de Lesseps chipped in a Furla handbag, and Ramona Singer donated one by Christian Dior. And while Kelly Killoren Bensimon is participating as well—she's donating a dress and this pair of John Varvatos Converse sneakers—she'd also like to point out that, unlike her low-class castmates, her pieces have never touched human skin:

Well now, here is a crafty postscript to the humongous Yves Saint Laurent auction that saved the art world: a Chinese insurgent says that he patriotically sabotaged the bidding on the most controversial items.

That big Yves Saint Laurent art auction certainly has saved the art world. By proving that the dumb money is still out there. That $28 million chair was just one of the craziest buys:

The sale of Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Bergé's vast art collection has ended and the final sales tally is in. All told, the Christie's event took in $484.6 million, making it the biggest private art auction in history. If you missed the action in Paris and you're a bit bummed about it, do note that Bergé says he now plans to sell Saint Laurent's former apartment on Rue de Babylone. You couldn't find a pied-à-terre in Paris with a more impressive pedigree if you tried! [WWD]

It's hard for the rich to find good, expensive things to spend their money on these days without causing a populist uproar. So a $28 million chair is, like, perfect!

At least some people are still shopping! "A leather armchair once owned by Yves Saint Laurent fetched 21.9 million euros, or $28 million, at the second night of Christie's auction of Mr. Saint Laurent's art collection. The price made the chair the most-expensive piece of 20th-century design sold at auction. The buyer was Cheska Vallois, the dealer who sold it to the French designer in the early 1970s." [WSJ, Bloomberg]

The recession hasn't killed the art market, after all. Buyers defied the downturn as Yves Saint Laurent's art collection hit the auction block last night. Record prices for works by Matisse, Brancusi, Mondrian and Duchamp were set, and Christie's raked in $264 million on the first night alone. So who were these buyers spending big bucks? Here's a clue: "Among the last-minute VIP visitors to the exhibition hall, just four hours before the sale, was Russian billionaire art collector Roman Abramovich, accompanied by dealer Larry Gagosian. Christie's owner French billionaire Francois Pinault, was present at the sale." [NYT, BN]

The hotly anticipated auction of the collection of Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Bergé begins today in Paris. Can't be there to in person to ogle the works by Picasso and Matisse? Christie's, which is spending a record amount to promote the auction, has posted hundreds of photos to Flickr. You can take a look around after the jump.

Having tried to block it for years, a broke Michael Jackson has finally agreed to auction off a large collection of his belongings. Auctioneers for Julien's Auctions were let into Neverland Ranch to ransack it.

That hirstute Madonna nude photo sold for $37,500, more than double its estimate. A-Rod's having a happy Valentine's! True trivia: Madonna got paid $25 for the shoot. Not even enough for Nair. [BBC, Previously]

Why not spend your hard-earned money on a charity eBay auction to "Spend an Evening with NonSociety.Com Girls in New York"? I cannot think of a single reason. Current price: $102.50. Plenty of fringe benefits:

Fashion Week this year will just be full of commoners and riff-raff, because people are scalping "tickets" for it all over Craigslist! The five priciest—and five cheapest—"tickets" below. Buy some for the hobos!

To save the homeless, David Archuleta doffs jeans. [Us]

Did you know that acclaimed pancake-head artist Dan Lacey is also an erotic cartoonist? It's true! But now his eBay-ing rights are under attack from a dreaded conservative blogger.

Heads up, Anderson Cooper fans: On February 26th, you'll have a chance to bid on lunch with the CNN anchor when Simon Doonan and Tim Gunn host the Bailey House's 21st annual auction at the Roseland Ballroom. It's lunch for three, we should point out—you get to bring a friend with you—which also keeps the Coop safe from being alone with an obsessive fan like, well, you. But you may need another person to help you foot the bill anyway. Last year's lunch with Andy went to two women for $4,500. [Bailey House]

The most important painting of our time, Nick Denton With Pancakes on His Head, has just sold at auction for $560. That makes him 63% as valuable as Florida State's Keith Gessen. The buyer: