It sure is a good day to hate Hollywood schlockmeister, Olivia Munn banger, Oscar ruiner, and receding afro-with-legs Brett Ratner. Apparently this weekend at a Q&A following his new cinematic turd Tower Heist, he dropped the f-bomb. No, not "fuck." "Fag."

Now that we've gotten Howard Kurtz out of the way, it's time to check in on America's other top arbiter of all things important, Rush Limbaugh, to see how he responded to Sharon Bialek's accusations of unwanted sexual advances (or assault) from Herman Cain. Limbaugh chose to focus on the pronunciation of her name: "Gloria Allred says her name is 'BI-uh-lick,' as in [SLURP SLURP] 'Buy-a-lick.'" Clear your schedules, everyone! It's going to be a fun week.

Perpetual shit-show Julian Assange has notched another screw-up in his long list of self-undermining failures: The much-vaunted memoir, for which he received a $1.5 million advance, and wherein he was to lay out for once and for all a defense against the malicious attacks leveled at him from all sides, is going to be published tomorrow against his will because he is an impossible human being.

The insufferable Bernard-Henri Lévy has a new piece of self-congratulatory garbage up on the Daily Beast, in which he pats himself on the back for personally liberating Libya from the clutches of Col. Muammar Qaddafi, because in BHL's world, the Other can't do shit without the white man. Okay, first let's give credit where credit is due: BHL keeps Nicolas Sarkozy's testicles in a glass jar on his desk, and he pushed the French president to act militarily on behalf of the rebels in Libya. But the headline for BHL's ode to himself says it all — 'Victorious Return to Libya'. Here, he arrives in Tripoli's Green Square to the delight of 6.5 million Libyans and feigns respect in his victory speech to the masses:

Col. Muammar Qaddfi's high-profile son Seif al-Islam was said to have been captured late Sunday night by Libyan rebels — a claim that was repeated by the International Criminal Court in the Hague where Seif is charged with war crimes along with his father. But early this morning, Seif showed up at Tripoli's Rixos Hotel in a white limo to talk a little shit to foreign journalists. He even took reporters on a guided tour: "We are going to hit the hottest spots in Tripoli."

Young suburban rapper Machine Gun Kelly started a Flash Mob™ at a mall in Ohio on Saturday, and was ejected along with some friends by police. At one point, MGK even stood up on a food court table! That's some hardcore shit. You can watch the Official MGK Flash Mob™ version here.

Donald Trump bought himself a gold-plated 757 so that he can cruise around the country and pretend like he's running for president in a desperate attempt to remain in the spotlight. Knowing how much everyone in America cares about the details of his private air fleet, Trump posted a video tour of the monstrosity on YouTube. Let's check it out.

Hit radio funnyman Rush Limbaugh noted on his program today that Kraft is creating a special new two-tiered Oreo made with both chocolate and vanilla frosting. Being the hit radio funnyman that he is, he immediately infused this latest unimpressive snack unveiling with comical racial politics:

Nationwide civil unrest hasn't come full circle until racist fringe groups come out to point fingers and promote xenophobic vigilantism. And that's where the English Defence League comes in! The group was all set to march on the streets of Telford this weekend in order "to address the threat posed by Muslim child-grooming gangs." Oh, but the British Home Secretary Theresa May today said, "It is clear that a ban is needed to ensure communities and property are protected."

Perhaps you've heard of former Luzerne County, Pennsylvania Judge Mark Ciavarella Jr., an objectively evil person who took bribes to send kids to private prisons. The good news is that he's now going to jail! Sadly, he'll only be there for 28 years.

Are you sitting down? Good. Because this may come as a shock to you, but you're going to have to grow up sometime: The Princeton Club of New York, a "private social club" catering to Princeton graduates, might be just a little bit racist.

A 43-year-old dentist from the Chicago area, William Anthony Howe is recovering in the hospital after he crashed head-on into another car on the interstate last Saturday. Howe was going the wrong way and the two people in the car he crashed into are dead. And it gets worse: A witnesses told the Chicago Tribune that Howe "was rifling around his passenger seat and picked up a handful of cash and threw it out the window." Several cars pulled over to grab the money. Shockingly, Howe was driving a red Porsche. So, why would some dickhead in a Porsche make it rain while driving the wrong way on the interstate? This could have something to do with it:

If anyone's been put down by society for far too long — besides young white males — it's the straights, of course. That's precisely why members of Sao Paulo, Brazil's city council have adopted legislation to create Heterosexual Pride Day.

A judge in Norway has spared the world from a "marketing" stunt by wet-suited Norwegian terrorist Anders Behring Breivik, and will hold his arraignment behind closed doors today. Breivik also asked to appear in uniform.

Russia's special envoy to Africa, Mikhail Margelov told the newspaper Izvestia that Muammar Qaddafi has an "abundance" of surface-to-surface missiles, and he's not afraid to use them on his own capital city if the situation spirals out of control:

Performing God's work is tough, and should be rewarded accordingly. So it's no surprise that investment banking executives are still bitching and moaning about a looming Federal Deposit Insurance Corp "clawback provision" that would give the government the right to take back up to two years of executives' pay if their banks fail and they ruin the global economy again. It's obviously The Poors' fault for being poor and and stupid and for losing their money, not the guys who are in charge of it.

Few people are more reviled in the over-leveraged United States than debt collectors. They'll talk all kinds of shit to you on the phone about credit card bills, or student loans that you one day decided to stop paying (but eventually started paying again to clear your guilty conscience and to be a good person), sure, but they're also victims of verbal abuse and stupid laws and they're just not gonna take it anymore.

It's not easy to steal the title of Alaska's Worst Person for obvious reasons, but on Sunday, 32-year-old Byron Edward Syvinski of Anchorage did. He allegedly tried to mug a 17-year-old boy (and punched the kid's father), before rampaging down the street:

In March, doctors and nurses in "key US ally" Bahrain were being assaulted by government troops for treating injured pro-democracy protesters. And today, 47 doctors and nurses were arraigned on charges that they tried to topple the government.

Members of Sea Shepherd, the least cool gang of self-styled pirates currently operating on the open seas, are setting off on an important new crusade: stopping tuna poaching off the coast of Libya.