Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman? The paperboy? The evening TV? That's what poor, down-on-their-luck residents of Manhattan's West Village are desperately wondering, shaking their fists at the dark, swirling, unforgiving heavens. You see, though many celebrities—Julianne Moore, Giselle Bundchen, Matthew Broderick's well-trimmed beard—live in the area around West 13th street, they don't cause any problems. They just blend in. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the street's most recent transplants, the Wonder Bobbsey Hobo twins, actresses and moguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. The pair is renting a humble garret on the street for $12,000 a month, and have wildly disrupted the sleepy, well-insulated-from-ugly-poor-people feel of the exclusive enclave. They rumble up at all hours of the night in their enormous mink-fur powered assault vehicles, teetering up the stairs in slinky club-wear. Their security guards often shoo away the languid wealthy who sit on the building's stoop so the girls can enter their building unmolested. A rep for the twins says "If there were significant issues, you would think that the neighbors would address Ashley or Mary-Kate directly, rather than calling the media." Which would make sense if normal people lived in that part of town, but mostly they're entitled and silly, so this response is not all that surprising. But through it all, their sad cries continue. ""It is a peaceful, quiet street," a mournful resident keened. "Plenty of other celebrities around this block are good neighbors and blend in with the neighborhood - but these two are invaders." [P6]
