Before Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for governor of California, he was busy impregnating "a longtime member of [his family's] household staff," according to a report in the Los Angeles Times and a statement from Schwarzenegger.

Here's one of the scattered pictures of the smiles Arnold Scharzenegger and Maria Shriver are in the process of leaving behind. It was sent to us by photographer Brad Elterman, who snapped the couple back in 1977 at a Las Vegas charity softball tournament hosted by Kenny Rogers. As Elterman recalls, "He was totally cool and loved the attention of my camera, but Maria made a hissy fit about having her photo taken."

Child Protective Services drops by the hospital to pay Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon a visit. Miranda Lambert "harvests" some venison for her wedding. Arnold and Sly go out for lunch. Sunday gossip is just friends with Salman Rushdie, really.

These photos of Arnold Schwarzenegger posing as the Admiral of Areolae come to you straight from 1986, the year he wed newly estranged wife Maria Shriver. We don't know why or where they were taken. But that won't stop us from guessing!

Lady Gaga breaks a nail and flips off a bunch of rich people. The royal wedding made Fergie feel "totally worthless." Heidi Montag warns that reality stardom is "hard." Wednesday gossip triumphs over adversity.

Who wasn't saddened to learn that the 25-year marriage of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver—as rock solid, we all assumed, as any individual Arnold body part circa 1985—had dissolved before our very eyes?

After 25 years of marriage, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have separated. Shriver, a journalist and Kennedy family member, moved out of the couple's mansion a few weeks ago while the two "work on the future of [their] relationship."

Arnold Schwarzenegger's team is shopping around yet another Terminator sequel, in which the former governor would reprise his iconic role as a herniated, lactose-intolerant killing-machine on an unstoppable mission to find a chiropractor who accepts his health insurance. [Hollywood Reporter]

Today we were presented with the grim truth that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son will soon take over the world. Curious. It must be weird to be Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. How weird? One commenter had a little insight.

In a new profile in Details magazine for totally straight dudes, the former Governator's 17-year-old son Patrick, already a shirtless squeal sensation, talks about his plans for the future—in the worlds of business and love. How precocious!

Matthew Morrison flees his rat-infested home. Nicolas Cage's binge-drinking weekend melee gets weirder. David Hasselhoff is "in like" with a woman half his age. Halle Berry's custody battle forces her to quit a play. Monday gossip is filthy.

Everyone's favorite cult comedy actor is saddling up for yet another television show. Will this one stick? Let's hope so. Also today: Arnold Schwarzenegger announces his next move, TV actors leave and join pilots, and John Travolta is so gangsta.

Miley Cyrus snaps at a paparazzo. Christina Aguilera returns to the scene of her public intoxication. Lindsay Lohan prepares for her big day in court. Brangelina's children "turn violent." Thursday gossip wonders what Lindsay Lohan will wear to court today.

This is a video of a nine-year-old Tanzanian boy named Alex recapping the 1985 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando (the video was produced by Joe Sabia for nonprofit Mama Hope's campaign "Stop the Pity. Unlock the Potential"). And we are so conflicted about it! Because, on the one hand, aaahhhhhhh this is so cute. And on the other hand, it's like, Alex, hello, have you even seen Predator, because it is one thousand times better than Commando. [via Boing Boing]

Arnold Schwarzenegger says being governor of California cost him $200 million, but "it was more than worth it." Aww.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger took up the time-honored tradition of hooking up friends on the way out of office by reducing the prison term of political ally Fabian Nuñez's son, Esteban, who participated in the murder of a college student.

Tonight, Larry King hosted the final ever episode of Larry King Live with the help of Bill Maher, Ryan Seacrest, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Regis Philbin, Diane Sawyer, Brian Williams, Katie Couric, Barbara Walters, Bill Clinton, and more! The best moments, inside.

The constitutional challenge to California's Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage begins tomorrow, in Perry v. Schwarzenegger, and cameras will be allowed in the courtroom for the first time. The proceedings are scheduled to last an hour. [NBC]

Check out this hilarious Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator sing about his laments, cut over scenes from Terminator 2. Being a Terminator can be quite confusing! Presenting "To Kill Someone Again."

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger this summer declared a "fiscal emergency" over the state's $19 billion budget deficit, and they finally passed a new budget last month. But now that budget is another $6 billion in the red. Poor Jerry Brown.