We mentioned last week that Nidal Malik Hasan, who killed 13 people at Fort Hood, received a concealed weapon permit in 1996 when he was living in Vinton, Va. Here are the highlights from his Roanoke County Circuit Court application.

A deranged murderer attacked an Army base packed with combat-ready soldiers trained to kill. The only person who could stop him? A female civilian.

War and profit have long been pals. Governments and corporations make scads of dough on invasions, attacks, contracts and such. So why shouldn't some of that profit help recruit a record amount of new, financially strapped soldiers, right?

Hello. My name is Brian Moylan. I am not Joshua David Stein. He had something better to do this week, and now you are stuck with me. It's OK. I make a mean scallop ceviche.

In your unnerving Monday Media column: The paper of record cannot stop talking about Skye Parrott (??), the Tribune Co. sells a losing team, JPMorgan takes over publishing by accident, and the great political talk show ad debate. No worries!

There was a time not long ago that the US Army was desperate for any warm bodies with working (for now) limbs. Now they've got plenty of otherwise-unemployable Americans as soldiers, and they need officers. Hello, creative underclass!

Fresh after this week's sobering slideshow of our troops in the Middle East, Matchbox toys comes out with an oddball ad campaign to spark kids' war fantasies of returning home draped in the American flag.

There's a war on. You probably knew that, in the sense that you read somewhere about a major offensive in Afghanistan. But if you're like us, you haven't seen many photos. It looks like Vietnam over there.

Yesterday, Barack Obama proclaimed "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, And Transgender Pride Month 2009." Other than that, he has not really done much of anything, at all, for the gays, in his first couple months. Will his new Army Secretary help with that?

Happy (in a somber way) Veteran's Day. If you're a young American aged 17-24, you might consider honoring the sacrifices of our men and women in uniform by joining the United States Army yourself! Sounds good, no? We all know the Army has been having some recruitment problems lately, what with the hopeless wars we're fighting and the psycho Commander in Chief and the excellent chance of being blown up. But the Army has decided to shift its sales pitch in order to lure you youngsters in. By talking more about Iraq!: They're adding a webcast called "Straight from Iraq" to their website, where soldiers will tell you the real deal about life in the desert war zone. Presumably not too real, though. They're also supercharging their marketing plan with the following changes: - More internet, less "sponsorships of professional rodeos." - The voice of Gary Sinise! - New commercial: "young workers in business attire suddenly start climbing walls. 'This company is filled with dreamers,' Mr. Sinise says." You'll have to join the Army to know how it ends! Of course, all of this is very much deck chair/ Titanic. If more people join the Army it will be because they can't get a job anywhere else since our economy collapsed. And if the Army was smart it would have one simple selling point: "Bush is gone." [NYT]

The plan was for Track to be the good kid in the Palin family. The athletically-named son of VP nominee Sarah Palin—who's set to ship out soon for Iraq—was portrayed as a symbol of patriotism on stage at the Republican Convention. But did he only join the Army to escape a life of drugs and crime back in Alaska? The newly famous enlistee gets the full investigative treatment from the Enquirer —which always saves the best stuff for the print version. Which we now have in hand! The young man has partied with some very talkative people. So: while Track was watching his mom enthrall the nation, was he really daydreaming of mainlining sweet, sweet Oxycontin and playing "master" criminal back home? We quote: Track is portrayed as the biggest bad boy in Wasilla. A serious drug problem, vandalism, theft, and partying are his main pastimes, allegedly. Which really wouldn't be that remarkable if the Republican party wasn't holding him up as, you know, a role model. If true, this would make the Palins a caricature: the country family with a pregnant teen, son on OxyContin, and a mom desperately trying to present a respectable face to the world. And failing. And honestly, everyone: the Enquirer does not represent the media elite. So the liberal media should be safely insulated from the backlash on this one. The best quotes from the Enquirer's story:

The U.S. Army does indeed get 70 percent of its recruiting leads online now. But not necessarily because aspiring soldiers watched one of the Army's videos produced by ad agency MRM. Still, the Army's most popular clip, "Basic Combat Training." is worth a watch. Don't miss the part between 0:25 and 0:30, where a new female soldier uses the word "fun" twice to describe her experience, over footage of trainees firing semiautomatic rilfes and machine guns in mock battles. Hmm, when was the last time anyone I know in tech described their job as "fun?"

Movies about war: even more important than war itself! The Army has never been able to quite get this whole Iraq business to go well, but it's damn sure not going to sit back and allow moviemakers to make their films about this Iraq business without the extensive input and assistance of the US Army. They've always used their leverage-cooperation in filming-to try to influence movie scripts. But they're having a darned hard time with this most recent crop of war movies, which seem to present the Iraq war as big problem. The military's problem with films like In The Valley Of Elah or Redacted? They're just not nuanced enough, you see:

Proving once again that the US Military makes strategic decisions based on the rantings of the lunatic fringe, our post last week about the Marine Corps' "We teach black people to swim" ad prompted an article about the "controversy" in the Marine Corps Times, and a healthy discussion on the paper's online discussion boards. Sentiment among the ex-military commenters there is currently running 30-0 against the ad having a racial component. "In my life time, I've learned through life experiences, in order for a person(s) to make a comment such as this. That they are racial in one way or another," says one. He's right, you know. (UPDATE: Former gay porn star/ Marine and current conservative blogger Matt Sanchez adds: "Smearing the military is never a big enough issue for the Gawker, it's a reflex. Maybe if they "subtly" stereotyped gay males as promiscuous this issue would have warranted greater indignation.") [MCT. Watch the ad here.]

It would be pegged to "BULLSHIT" the entire time. [MSNBC]