Federal prosecutors have charged the ex-soldier who took three hostages at a Georgia military hospital yesterday with kidnapping, armed assault, and making threats to kill Barack Obama and Bill Clinton.

In a drastic (but effective?) attempt to prove he needed psychiatric help, a former Army soldier took three hostages at a military hospital in Georgia this morning to demand "treatment for behavioral problems."

Gen. James Mattis will likely replace Gen. David Petraeus as head of Central Command (CENTCOM), which oversees all Middle East military operations. And it seems he thinks "it's fun to shoot some people," if not "a hell of a hoot."

General Stanley McChrystal, who headed the war in Afghanistan until disparaging comments about his bosses came to light in an article last week, will retire. Let's pitch in and get him a Rolling Stone subscription as a going-away gift! [Reuters]

Because of the desert conditions in Afghanistan, hook-and-pile tape (more commonly known as Velcro) on soldiers' uniforms is falling apart. The replacement for the malfunctioning technology? Good, old-fashioned buttons. If only the rest of the situation were so easily fixed.

It's been almost a week since mystery man Alvin Greene inexplicably won South Carolina's Democratic senate primary and yet he is still largely a mystery. We spoke to one of Greene's former Army colleagues for some insight into the guy.

Army Specialist Bradley Manning, 22, was arrested last month after bragging about giving Wikileaks the infamous Iraq helicopter assault video, plus a previously unknown 260,000 classified US diplomatic cables that he said are "almost criminal political back dealings." [Wired]

Major Nidal Hassan will make his first appearance in a Fort Hood military court today for an Article 32 hearing, which is similar to a grand jury proceeding. He could receive the death penalty for killing 13 soldiers. [AP, pic]

Silver Spoons star Ricky Schroder went to Washington, D.C. last week. "I met with the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe and with the guys at the Pentagon to see if I could help them with anything entertainment related." God help us.

British soldier Craig Harrison killed two Taliban machine gunners in Afghanistan at a distance of 8,120 feet, setting a vaguely depressing record. The previous vaguely depressing record, set by a Canadian sniper, was 7,972 feet. [Sky News]

In a dusty storeroom in Afghanistan, seven soldiers stand in formation. Lady Gaga is on the sound system. They dance. Videos like these from the frontline are a far cry from candid camera hazing rituals that usually grab the spotlight.

Yesterday we met a group of nimble-footed U.S. soldiers who, in their free time in Afghanistan, remade Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video, with glorious results. Today, The Smoking Gun introduces us to the lip-syncing stars of the 82nd Airborne Division. [TSG]

This video shows a group of nimble-footed U.S. soldiers remaking the "Telephone" video. The result is magnificent. Alternating between regulation camo and spangled leotards, our men in Afghanistan swing their hips, snap their wrists, and twinkle their toes like pros.

The city is plagued by gun violence, so Democratic lawmakers are asking for the National Guard to use techniques learned on "nation-building assignments in Iraq and Afghanistan" to restore order. Glenn Beck was right... martial law is coming! [AP, pic]

The Army says it can't find its own copy of the Wikileaks video showing the killing of two Reuters staffers in Baghdad in 2007. But according to Defense Department documents, the Army was supposed to use it for training.

The Defense Department is worried that gay soldiers may not want to participate in a survey that will ask for their thoughts on repealing DADT. Perhaps that's because the law, which bars gays from openly serving, is still in place?

Sarcos Raytheon's XOS exoskeleton was demo'd on Discovery Channel's Is it Possible? last night, and judging from the vast increases in stamina and strength, a real Iron Man doesn't look out of the question.

A fondness of handcuffs and openly gay "socialization" in lazy European armies led directly to the killing of thousands in Bosnia, a retired US general told a Senate committee. The Dutch aren't happy about it.

This ad may be a tad unbelievably sexist, given the prolonged, gratuitous shot of a girl's cleavage, but when it comes to the matter of protecting one's country, all bets are off.

The LOL platoon is a bit special, and this particular soldier cannot make jumping jacks work today. A slow-motion demonstration by the general only seems to make matters worse, adding further confusion to an increasingly hopeless situation.

Hands and legs together...hands and legs apart. Not happening today. Hopefully it will be a while before this guy is allowed near any live ammunition.