I really hope someone at the L.A. City Attorney's Office appreciates the asinine logic here. TMZ reports that Demi Moore's 911 call — the one in which a friend said Demi had smoked something "like incense" — was edited to remove specific drug references. Because, you know, that totally makes a difference.
You'll have to wait until Valentine's Day to see This Means War, a romantic comedy in which Reese Witherspoon (along with the women and gay men in the audience) must choose between Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. I haven't seen the movie, so I can't fairly judge it — but I will, a little. Especially after an interview in which director McG admitted to shooting multiple endings in order to prevent people from finding out which hottie Witherspoon's character ends up with.
As a reporter, Tom Brokaw is dignified and unflappable — but you wouldn't like him when he's angry. A USA Today article quotes a statement Brokaw made via NBC in response to Mitt Romney's new "History Lesson" ad. The TV spot, which began running in Florida this weekend, is mostly footage from a 1997 Nightly News report on Newt Gingrich's ethics violation. And while Brokaw is admittedly rather sassy in the footage, he doesn't appreciate having it used out of context in a campaign attack ad.
The Headwear Association has selected Kate Middleton as the Hat Person of the Year. Because apparently being a duchess wasn't a big enough honor. In THA's defense, Middleton was actually selected via an online poll. Also, I'm not sure how fashionable this organization is. They claim to have been founded in 1908, which looks to be around the same time they designed their blog.
Barring a glossy Bollywood remake — which, honestly, could be kind of fun — India will not be releasing The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. According to The Hollywood Reporter, India's Central Board of Film Certification demanded some pretty big content cuts. To which David Fincher said, "No fucking way." (I doubt he used that language, but when rejecting censorship, it's always fun to throw in an extra swear.)
Well, progress is progress. The New York Times reports that Greece is "inch[ing] toward [a] deal" establishing the new interest rates that Greek bonds will carry. No one can officially confirm what this compromise would entail, only that "bondholders have made significant concessions with regard to the interest rate." But let's not get too excited.
It should come as no surprise that The Grey AKA Liam Neeson Fights Some Goddamn Wolves topped the box office on Friday. The Hollywood Reporter predicts an $18 million weekend, which would be more impressive if it weren't competing against so many shitty movies. In second place, the Katherine Heigl vehicle One for the Money, which has the distinct disadvantage of no wolves and a fairly contentious star. Even Heigl, at one point, admitted that no one liked her.
Now that he's moved on to bigger and shinier things, Barack Obama has no need for his old mode of transportation. I'm actually pretty sure he ditched it a while back, but hey — now it can be yours. The eBay scourers over at BuzzFeed stumbled on an exciting opportunity to purchase Obama's 2005 Chrysler 300. For a paltry one million dollars, you can drive around in the same car then-Senator Obama may have used to travel between Washington D.C. and Chicago. That's right, no guarantees. At least the listing is honest?
This morning we read how Yale Daily News, "Gutsiest Campus Newspaper of 2011," sat on the story of perfect Yale quarterback Patrick Witt's sex assault scandal for two months. Now, a humorous coda to their silence: We hear that YDN actually considered calling on wealthy alumni to charter a jet for the campus hero, so he wouldn't have to choose between the Yale-Harvard game and his Rhodes Scholarship interview.
The Washington Post is out with an excellent update on the history of the racist, homophobic, survivalist, nutcase newspapers that were published under his name in the 80s and 90s, which comes awfully close to confirming the most likely version of the story: He may not have written every word of them, but he sure signed off on them and wanted them written that way to pick up more subscribers and make more money.
Here in America, our jails are full of old people, and it's costing us a ton of money to keep them in there. Huh. Now there is a problem which certainly could not have been foreseen by craven "Law and order" politicians prosecuting a useless "War on Drugs" for the sake of public popularity, nor by the simplistic bloodthirsty voters who repeatedly elected them in order to satisfy a primal hatred of "the other." Anyhow, we have a solution: let the old people out of jail.
The day is waning. My fingers are tired. Is there any way left for me to artificially pump web traffic to my posts, so I can vanquish Brian Moylan in the Great Gawker Traffic Whoring Contest of 2012? What compelling image could I possibly acquire that would generate more interest than Juliette Lewis' doppelganger in a hardcore sex pose with Terry Richardson? Long is the hour of my desperation. Deep is my desire to win.
Here's yet another reason that a viable Newt Gingrich presidential candidacy is in America's best comedic interests: It brings out his fellow scumbag crooks that he's worked with over the years to pledge their loyalty for his Restoration.
Perhaps you have heard the news about this, the most destabilizing political scandal to hit American politics since Teapot Dome: President Obama and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer had a modest disagreement about her new book, Scorpions for Breakfast, on the tarmac yesterday. The photographers even captured her pointing at him. What is everyone's problem?
A team of scientists in Ireland claim to have successfully traced the so-called "speed gene" in Thoroughbred horses back to a single ancestor: a mare bred in the UK in the 17th century.
The same Navy SEAL unit that killed Osama Bin Laden last May successfully rescued two people from Somali pirates yesterday. What did you do?
Newt Gingrich was campaigning on Florida's Space Coast today when he decided, fuck it, I'm pandering: "By the end of my second term we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American." Sure, why not. What about Mars? "Gingrich also said he would push to develop propulsion technology that would get man to Mars." He would merely "develop" the project. Such a cop-out.
