We joke around a lot in a good-natured fashion about how recent graduates of law school are fucked up, down, and sideways. "You guys are just straight fucked," we often say (joshingly). Well—imagine our surprise when we found out that, in fact, recent graduates of law school really are fucked. Yikes! Touchy subject.

Notable Canadian game show host Alex Trebek suffered a minor heart attack yesterday. He is already on the mend, but remains under observation at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Muslim Brotherhood candidate Mohammed Morsi won the presidency in Egypt, beating opponent Ahmed Shafik in the country's closely watched election. Shafik was the last prime minister to have served under ousted President Hosni Mubarak.

Now that Jerry Sandusky has been found guilty of 45 of the 48 charges against him, Penn State would like to put the ugly incident behind them. But the school's child-sex abuse scandal is far from over, as further legal and financial consequences loom on the horizon.

Bat flu? Ha, it's a thing of the past. It's time you start worrying about the bird flu, say the scientists. In as little as five mutations, a group of Dutch researchers were able to engineer a strain of the H5N1 flu that is airborne among mammals. If it were to become airborne, an avian bird flu pandemic would likely follow.

You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say that most Americans in the USA are no brighter than your average Republican. What do we love? The military and the cops! What do we hate? Public schools and unions! Grrr!

A lot of people were surprised when Jerry Sandusky's defense team "abruptly" rested their case Wednesday evening without calling the former Penn State assistant football coach, charged with several counts of child sexual abuse, to the stand.

Ashton Kutcher's production company filed a lawsuit Tuesday against the California Department of Motor Vehicles for breach of contract.

The New York Times' Media Decoder blog reported Wednesday evening that NBC executives are currently engaged in secret negotiations to replace Ann Curry on the Today show just one year after she joined Matt Lauer as co-host.

A grand jury in Texas has decided not to indict a Shiner man who made headlines last week for beating his 5-year-old daughter's molester to death with his bare hands.

A U.S. Senate subcommittee is holding hearings on the practice of solitary confinement in our nation's prisons. Here's what Anthony Graves, who spent 18 years in prison for murder before being exonerated, had to say about the practice:

The Hollywood Reporter announced Tuesday that a Sesame Street movie is in the works, courtesy of 20th Century Fox.

Bristol Palin's reality series Life's A Tripp premieres tonight on Lifetime (early reviews call it "dull" and "depressing," but note that her son is cute), and still, the public's ravenous appetite for observing the lesser members of the Palin family in reality television settings remains unsatisfied.

Hosni Mubarak, the former Egyptian dictator who was ousted from office in February of last year, has reportedly possibly died at the possible age of 84. Mubarak was (is?) currently serving life imprisonment for the premeditated murders of peaceful protesters during Egypt's 2011 revolution.

After months of denial and equivocation, Johnny Depp's publicist today confirmed that the actor and his long-time partner Vanessa Paradis have "amicably separated."

Last Friday, as American journalists looked forward to an evening's well-earned drinking, one lone truth-teller gritted his teeth and inwardly hissed, "Not on my watch." He was wearing a tan suit and standing near roses as he said this. There was a Poison song playing in his head, and he saw words emerge from his mouth in bullet time, so the president couldn't dodge them.

Leila Neve was getting ready to say goodbye to her comatose daughter Charlotte when Adele's hit song "Rolling in the Deep" came on the radio, and the seven-year-old suddenly began smiling.

Today, Florida prosecutors released taped phone conversations between George Zimmerman and his wife Shellie while Zimmerman was incarcerated. Under serious discussion: the website with which Zimmerman was able to raise over $130,000 dollars in donations.

When Rodney King's death was announced yesterday, there was plenty of speculation as to the cause. Even when it seemed as though an accidental drowning was the culprit, some of King's friends — and a few Gawker commenters — questioned the timeline established by his fiancée Cynthia Kelley.

There are two sides to every story — and usually considerably more than that — but part of the thrill of a one-man show is being able to tell only yours.