Live! with Kelly could soon be transforming into an extended Saturday Night Live skit in which the two flirtiest daytime talkshow hosts on the planet try to get through a single episode without stripping down and fucking one another right there on the soundstage in front of wildlife expert Peter Gros, if a pervasive Internet rumor is to be believed: Showbiz411 reports that SNL's Seth Meyers is the frontrunner to join the show this fall as Kelly Ripa's permanent cohost.

Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee posted a fucking expletive and exclamation-point-laden rant to the band's official Facebook page last week, letting Crüe fans know he "[doesn't] owe anybody anything!" and does not want to take a fucking picture with them.

Whether or not you think we need a Spider-Man reboot, a significant chunk of people obviously do. The Amazing Spider-Man, which retells the superhero's origin story, broke Tuesday records with a $35 million opening.

When Odd Future's Frank Ocean came out last night, people praised his method — Ocean wrote about a man he'd been in love with on his Tumblr — and his choice to be honest about his sexuality.

Aimee Copeland, the Georgia Master's student who found herself plagued by necrotizing fasciitis following a zip line accident, is heading home from the hospital soon. This is great news, especially for a person whose recovery was called "mind-boggling."

For conservatives from Washington state, one anti-gay marriage initiative on the ballot wasn't quite good enough, so they pushed for two. Thankfully, one of the initiatives failed.

Last we heard from Clayton Osbon, the disturbed JetBlue pilot who attempted to take down his own plane while yelling probably reasonable things about al-Qaeda and Jesus, his wife was somewhat defending him, saying his actions were not "intentionally violent." Now, in not-so-surprising news, a judge has ruled the 49-year old legally insane and therefore not guilty of of interfering with a flight crew, charges which could have lead to 20 years in jail.

Former Commerce Secretary John Bryson's blood tested positive for Ambien after Bryson was involved in two separate hit and run incidents (including one in which he crashed into the same car twice) in Los Angeles in early June. Prosecutors declined to press charges, stating that the amount of Ambien was consistent with the "low end of therapeutic levels," which makes it impossible for criminologists to prove that Bryson was under the influence.

In the United States of America, we do not have debtors' prison. Right? Oh, so wrong. The financial and legal penalties for being poor in America are only getting worse.

On June 19, a YouTube user by the name of "CapitalTrigga" uploaded a video of a gang of middle school students harassing bus monitor Karen Klein. He sent links to local news stations, and school authorities, according to a Reddit thread he posted in soon after. Just a couple days later, thanks to popular posts on Reddit, the video was playing on every major TV network in America. Thousands of dollars in donations poured into an online fundraiser for Karen Klein, the video's beleagured star.

Congratulations are in order for the for-profit college industry, which won a major court ruling this week—a judge ruled that the Department of Education could not penalize these fake schools just because they routinely destroyed the financial future of their graduates. Here are the outrageous DoE rules, which were struck down as "arbitrary and capricious," via the WSJ:

If his tirades against the paparazzi are any indication, Alec Baldwin is a person who values his privacy. Now he'll be even more removed from unwanted attention with his decision to quit Twitter.

Today, pharmaceutical company GlaxoSmithKline agreed to pay a $3 billion fine in a fraud settlement for illegally marketing drugs and withholding safety information. But Celebrity Rehab fans may be more interested in another aspect of the case against the company — the claim that TV personality Dr. Drew was paid $275,000 to promote the antidepressant Wellbutrin SR for uses not approved by the FDA.

The more the conversation about coming out changes, the more it stays the same: we're reduced to the fundamentally opposed sides of "celebrities have a moral imperative to come out" and "celebrities have a right to their privacy." I'm less concerned with the former — while the world would certainly be a better place if all gay people felt comfortable identifying as such, and while LGBT youth could always use more role models, there's an element of forced advocacy to suggesting gay people need to be voices for the gay community. Suddenly everything they say or do is viewed through the lens of the cause.

Scott Adams is the guy who writes Dilbert, a cartoon beloved by suicidal office workers across America. Scott Adams is also, not to brag, the smartest person in America, judging simply by the quantity of thinly-veiled self-regard which drips off of each and every post on Scott Adams' blog, especially the rapey ones. Scott Adams' genius possesses such a breadth and girth that it often crowds everything else off the internet, forcing Scott Adams himself to take on the task of pointing out just how big of a genius Scott Adams is.

Wal-Mart has been the target of union campaigns for years. Why? Because Wal-Mart is the biggest fucking retailer in the world, and the most famous anti-union company in America. It makes sense for both practical and symbolic reasons. In L.A. right now, unions and worker advocates are trying to stop the construction of a new Wal-Mart in the city's Chinatown district. But Wal-Mart has an ally in the fight: the Wall Street Journal.

In 2007, the New Yorker published staff writer Raffi Khatchadourian's lengthy and nuanced profile of "American Al Qaeda" Adam Gadahn, the California-born death metal enthusiast who converted to Islam, moved to Pakistan, and rose to the leadership of Al Qaeda. What the magazine has never reported: Gadahn wrote back.

In the spirit of this weekend's smash hits: fuck you, Pixar.

Just because there are no bottles flying in the air doesn't mean the fight between Chris Brown and Drake has settled down. Instead of a bar brawl, however, it's become a war of the words. (Looks like that boxing match is off the table.)

Anyone on Barack Obama's mailing list knows that the campaign hasn't been shy about asking for donations — and for good reason. The President is in serious danger of being outspent by opponent Mitt Romney, and that could have serious consequences in the November election.